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Post Reply Does monogamy work?
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AKR
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Posted 8/9/16 , edited 8/12/16
After being in the weird part of the internet out of boredom, i have seen tons of articles that say polygamy with rules is good or open relationship stuff.

They say that everyone cheats. Is this true?

I am a huge monogamy supporter, but after reading dem articles it seems that its pointless to get a girlfriend.
Am i waving a flag for a dying thing?

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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 8/9/16
Different strokes for different folks. I still champion monogamy though. It's what I feel comfortable with. I understand how open relationships can work for some, but they're not for everyone, me included.
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20 / M / Imoutoland!
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Posted 8/9/16
Oh Jophar, I would never cheat on you!
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Hoosierville
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Posted 8/9/16
Cheaters justify it by saying everyone else does it so why shouldn't they...
Posted 8/9/16 , edited 8/10/16
So long as people who are "for polygamy" are honest enough to admit that they have emotional issues, who am I to mock them, slap my forehead, and say "Doh!" on their behalf. Failing to recognize where ones issues stem from is not an excuse to advocate dumb shit.
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AKR
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Posted 8/9/16

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Oh Jophar, I would never cheat on you!


Sure i would believe that.
I know you are not seeking anyone but me.

Posted 8/9/16
Not everyone cheats. Only 1/3 of the population does, the other 1/3 gets cheated upon. The remaining 1/3 doesn't even get the chance to cheat.

Kidding aside, I'm for monogamy. But of course I respect the fact that other cultures have polygamy. In the southern part of my country it's allowed. My only concern is this: If a guy can have more than one wife, why can't women have more than one husband
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23 / F
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Posted 8/9/16
I do believe that everybody cheats, one way or another, by having your dick inside someone or catching feelings for someone else or even by thinking about someone else beside your lover is cheating. My opinion

Which is why I rather have an open relationship than having to go through the cheating part with my partner.
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21 / M
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Posted 8/9/16
Monogamy doesn't work. Polygamy doesn't work, either. Ah yes, your typical nihilist approach.
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Posted 8/9/16
Monogamy helps keep you free from STDs. =P

Different strokes for different folks.

Sogno- 
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Posted 8/9/16
yes, but you have to work at it. and it's not easy.

unfortunately most people want the easy way out and have no desire for commitment.
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47 / M / Memphis, TN
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Posted 8/9/16

ItsMai wrote:

Not everyone cheats. Only 1/3 of the population does, the other 1/3 gets cheated upon. The remaining 1/3 doesn't even get the chance to cheat.

Kidding aside, I'm for monogamy. But of course I respect the fact that other cultures have polygamy. In the southern part of my country it's allowed. My only concern is this: If a guy can have more than one wife, why can't women have more than one husband


Please research the Kingdom of Mustang in the Himalayas, where--due to issues of population and land usage--it is accepted practice for a woman to marry multiple brothers from a single family. The term for having multiple husbands is polyandry.
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Posted 8/9/16

moonhawk81 wrote:


ItsMai wrote:

Not everyone cheats. Only 1/3 of the population does, the other 1/3 gets cheated upon. The remaining 1/3 doesn't even get the chance to cheat.

Kidding aside, I'm for monogamy. But of course I respect the fact that other cultures have polygamy. In the southern part of my country it's allowed. My only concern is this: If a guy can have more than one wife, why can't women have more than one husband


Please research the Kingdom of Mustang in the Himalayas, where--due to issues of population and land usage--it is accepted practice for a woman to marry multiple brothers from a single family. The term for having multiple husbands is polyandry.


I did some look up on polyandry to find whether it could help limit human population growth and allow lesser resource consumption per people. The Capitalists propose cultural change as solutions (although the Capitalists often contradict themselves) and polyandry could be an environmental solution but the number of husbands per women should be limited to avoid problems. Unlike rural environment, urban environment produce burden in child raising so polyandry can be very beneficial in the increasing urban world especially in the free market with its heavy competition. Property ownership and inheritance is important in advanced societies so polyandry should either occur with matrilineal inheritance, where women gain power by property ownership, or with marriage where woman are restricted to marriage partners from the same family. The romantic attachment to fictional woman in media may lessen competition between husbands for the wife but this idea need to be tested first.
Posted 8/9/16

sinoakayumi wrote:

... it could help limit human population growth ...

... romantic attachment to fictional woman ...

... this idea need to be tested first ...

I don't know why,
but the first thing that came to mind was

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26 / F / Spring, TX
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Posted 8/9/16 , edited 8/17/16
I'm a polyamorist. (Before you ask, I am not a polygamist, because polygamy is illegal.) The key difference is that I am not married to all my partners.

I wouldn't say you're "waving a flag for a dying thing." There are plenty of "monos" (people who are incapable of loving more than one person deeply at a given time) around in this world. Monogamy can be an amazing thing for those who seek it. Though, I wouldn't really let other people's preferences dictate the worth of a girlfriend.

You're probably referring to articles about polyamory, not polygamy. Sometimes polyamory is called "open relationships." Rules are not really a good idea. That purports a controlling environment and typically a more "harem-like" scenario, where you have an alpha and then "the rest." We tend to advocate honest and clear communication about boundaries, desires, wants, needs, and expectations.

This way, you'll know for sure if the relationship dynamic is viable for you. For example, you have people who aren't really interested in relationships with other people - they just want the ability to have multiple sex partners. You have people like me who aren't really into that and have relationships with more than one person. I am married and I am also dating.

I don't believe everyone cheats. I do believe that both monogamists and polyamorists can cheat. "Cheating," to me, is defined as "the explicit act of breaking a partner's trust."

The number one question I field is "why isn't one person good enough for you?"
It's a bit difficult to explain, but I hope this analogy helps. It's never about quantifying love to a finite amount that can be distributed accordingly. I like to think of "love" as a tree. It's an ever-growing entity that can branch off and flourish on each branch.

At any rate, best luck in your own relationship endeavors!
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