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Post Reply Does monogamy work?
Posted 8/9/16

moonhawk81 wrote:


ItsMai wrote:

Not everyone cheats. Only 1/3 of the population does, the other 1/3 gets cheated upon. The remaining 1/3 doesn't even get the chance to cheat.

Kidding aside, I'm for monogamy. But of course I respect the fact that other cultures have polygamy. In the southern part of my country it's allowed. My only concern is this: If a guy can have more than one wife, why can't women have more than one husband


Please research the Kingdom of Mustang in the Himalayas, where--due to issues of population and land usage--it is accepted practice for a woman to marry multiple brothers from a single family. The term for having multiple husbands is polyandry.


Interesting! Thank you for this piece of information
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Posted 8/9/16
Probably, but you'd have to be crazy for that one person. Like throw you down and pin you to the bed with passion every day crazy .

But Hey! That's just love man.

Or you could always.... you know, have a meaningful relationship and stuff to I like the idea of sharing your life with one person, that's all I would need really. Someone I could trust completely combined with my loyalty, that is bliss
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Posted 8/9/16 , edited 8/9/16

sinoakayumi wrote:


moonhawk81 wrote:


ItsMai wrote:

Not everyone cheats. Only 1/3 of the population does, the other 1/3 gets cheated upon. The remaining 1/3 doesn't even get the chance to cheat.

Kidding aside, I'm for monogamy. But of course I respect the fact that other cultures have polygamy. In the southern part of my country it's allowed. My only concern is this: If a guy can have more than one wife, why can't women have more than one husband


Please research the Kingdom of Mustang in the Himalayas, where--due to issues of population and land usage--it is accepted practice for a woman to marry multiple brothers from a single family. The term for having multiple husbands is polyandry.


I did some look up on polyandry to find whether it could help limit human population growth and allow lesser resource consumption per people. The Capitalists propose cultural change as solutions (although the Capitalists often contradict themselves) and polyandry could be an environmental solution but the number of husbands per women should be limited to avoid problems. Unlike rural environment, urban environment produce burden in child raising so polyandry can be very beneficial in the increasing urban world especially in the free market with its heavy competition. Property ownership and inheritance is important in advanced societies so polyandry should either occur with matrilineal inheritance, where women gain power by property ownership, or with marriage where woman are restricted to marriage partners from the same family. The romantic attachment to fictional woman in media may lessen competition between husbands for the wife but this idea need to be tested first.


Very interesting that you would suggest polyandry in urban settings, when it is today most often associated with rural settings. I'm sure that child-rearing is a burden in all settings, but I understand your argument. As for the matrilineal inheritance, et al., many older rural societies still bear vestiges of that being the case--usually right up until one of today's recognized major faiths came in and started tinkering with traditional beliefs. Honestly, before DNA testing existed, matrilineal descent was the only truly provable parentage.

(Oh, and Mai, you're welcome. Something I saw decades ago in National Geographic and had to look up just to be sure I was remembering correctly. . .)
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Posted 8/9/16
The way I see it, if you can feel hate or strong dislike for more than one person than you can also feel love for more than one person. On the other side of the coin, if you aren't able to fully hate someone, than you probably can't fully love someone either. Hate and love are extremely similar emotions. I think legally binding monogamy ('marriage') is an outdated and extremely flawed system because people often mistake possessive lust as love, and when the spark goes out things can get ugly. There are so many divorces and people who 'cheat' because people focus too much on marriage or 'ownership' of their spouse/lover and not enough on understanding the emotions and needs the relationship is build upon. I'm saying this as someone who's family bonds were torn apart rather viciously by the bad divorce of my parents. It took years before there was any stability in my household afterwords.
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Posted 8/9/16
Depends on the people involved really for me I'm a monogamist and have been with the same person for the past 19 years now. Defently wouldn't cheat and have no need to look elsewhere for either love or sex
Posted 8/9/16 , edited 8/9/16
Monogamy will work for me
Posted 8/9/16


Monogamous, and no not everyone cheats. There are visible lines you simply do not cross.
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Posted 8/9/16
Even if Monogamy didn't work for everyone and people fail at it, I would advocate for it nonetheless. Marriage is not something that's engaged in for it's utility but for a higher purpose.
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Posted 8/10/16

Spireite wrote:

Different strokes for different folks. I still champion monogamy though. It's what I feel comfortable with. I understand how open relationships can work for some, but they're not for everyone, me included.


/nods slowly in agreement*
Posted 8/10/16
An old boyfriend wanted to have another girlfriend, now I'm bi so I didn't say no right away but I wanted to talk to the girl first to see if we got a long.
Boyfriend then said never mind then he proceeded to cheat on me with the girl and well I hate it when people do that, makes me feel like I'm not good enough for them.
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Posted 8/10/16

Jophar_Vorin wrote:

After being in the weird part of the internet out of boredom, i have seen tons of articles that say polygamy with rules is good or open relationship stuff.

They say that everyone cheats. Is this true?

I am a huge monogamy supporter, but after reading dem articles it seems that its pointless to get a girlfriend.
Am i waving a flag for a dying thing?



Monogamy does in fact work...it's the cheating that throws the monkeywrench into the gears. I'd say about 30-40% of my past relationships were cheat-free (from the other party, I've never cheated in my life). Does polygamy work? Yes, actually it does but I prefer monogamy myself. I've never had a problem getting a monogamous partner and been most happy keeping it at that.
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Posted 8/10/16

Velvet_Crowe wrote:

An old boyfriend wanted to have another girlfriend, now I'm bi so I didn't say no right away but I wanted to talk to the girl first to see if we got a long.
Boyfriend then said never mind then he proceeded to cheat on me with the girl and well I hate it when people do that, makes me feel like I'm not good enough for them.


Ah, he just wasn't good enough for you, not the other way around.
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Posted 8/10/16
I would say that it's more natural for some to cheat, but as a species I believe humans are pretty monogamous by nature. Just how I feel.
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Posted 8/10/16
The real question is if you and your significant other are willing to work things out.
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Posted 8/10/16
Yes, it does work, not for everyone though. Also, not everyone cheats, honestly I feel like when most people say that they're just projecting and talking about their own relationships. I don't mind the relationships of others but I prefer monogamy, though I wouldn't mind a harem. But yeah, it depends on the people and if they're willing to work through their problems while being in a monogamous relationship and if they actually have the commitment for it.
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