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Post Reply Are the physically disabled undateable?
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22 / M / United States
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Posted 8/16/16 , edited 8/16/16
I've been struggling w/ Muscular Dystrophy for the past 4 years now. Apparently, I was born w/ this physical impairment and only did it recently decide that it wanted to change my life forever. In short, Muscular Dystrophy is a muscle disease which impairs your muscles. I have Limb Girdle which heavily affects the core muscles (i.e thighs, upper arms, and torso). It's also recently affected my breathing, so now I'm on a breathing machine when I sleep. I've had a very close gal friend that I grew up w/ in highschool, was practically in love w/ her, who never speaks to me anymore. Since I live out in the boonies and am wheelchair bound, it's near impossible to get out and do things (not that I'd feel comfortable being seen in a power chair regardless), so I've tried dating websites. Since it's unethical, in my opinion, to not include your disability in your description, I've taken the liberty of doing just that. Several months of trying and no luck.

What do you guys think? Is there no hope, does it all depend on the disability itself or would you consider looking past it?

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Posted 8/16/16
I am fairly sure that the physically disabled are perfectly able to date. There are even dating sites FOR the physically disabled.
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Posted 8/16/16
^ Keep applying yourself wherever you can. If you are looking for a serious relationship, it will take time whether you are disabled or not.
Posted 8/16/16
In theory, no? Whatever hardship you endure there is hope you might overcome it to enjoy a relationship if the other person is willing to put forth the effort. You just need to find him or her.
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Posted 8/16/16 , edited 8/16/16

gornotck wrote:

There are even dating sites FOR the physically disabled.


As much as I'd LOVE to try out a website for the physically disabled people, one should ask themselves many questions on how life would be for two couples in a wheelchair. Would their sex life be non existent? Would they even be able to be intimate in the first place? This may sound a little weird in itself considering my situation, but I'm not exactly trying to go out of my way to just "stay w/ my own kind". That's like telling black people there's dating sites FOR black people. Sure, there is. But do I want to categorize myself? No, not really.
Azver 
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Posted 8/16/16
Why would they be. It's just different.

Having said that, I won't lie as you know it too; it'll alter the dynamics greatly if it's the man whose disabled. Having said that, some wise man once said that once gunpowder became common, muscle saw considerable inflation. Not saying you should shoot everyone, just that strength comes in many forms.

Personally to me, and maybe because I am somewhat (personally) conservative, misogynist, sexist prick, I don't see it as a problem. But as a man I can only attest to the fact that I have no effing clue how women think, so there's very little point in me guessing how it works the other way around. Any guess I'd give would be wrong anyway.
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Posted 8/16/16 , edited 8/16/16

Lemontitties wrote:

But do I want to categorize myself? No, not really.

That's understandable. Well, as far as bios go, personally, I would say to keep the wheelchair bit brief and write it towards the end. You don't want to sound too focused on your negative points, and you want them to have a bit of insight on your character so they know that you're an interesting individual.

Alternatively, leave your disability out of the bio, but make sure that it's brought up well before you meet up with someone. Although, if I had to take a guess, this sounds a little more risky and might not work depending on the person.

The point is, you want the person to see who you are on the inside rather than them seeing only what you are on the outside. And a lot of women that are looking for a serious relationship will be willing to date someone who is kind and honest.
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Posted 8/16/16

XxDarkSasuxX wrote:



That's understandable. Well, as far as bios go, personally, I would say to keep the wheelchair bit brief and write it towards the end. You don't want to sound too focused on your negative points, and you want them to have a bit of insight on your character so they know that you're an interesting individual.

Alternatively, leave your disability out of the bio, but make sure that it's brought up well before you meet up with someone. Although, if I had to take a guess, this sounds a little more risky and might not work depending on the person.

The point is, you want the person to see who you are on the inside rather than them seeing only what you are on the outside. And a lot of women that are looking for a serious relationship will be willing to date someone who is kind and honest.



Yeah, I've taken this little detail into great practice. The most I've ever said is "I'm in a wheelchair" and have left it at that, no reason to dwell any more on that point. Of course, and I'm quite sure the gal wouldn't appreciate me leaving a huge detail like that out. I appreciate the insight, maybe one day something will happen
Posted 8/16/16
Of course you can date.
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Posted 8/16/16

Lemontitties wrote:

Yeah, I've taken this little detail into great practice. The most I've ever said is "I'm in a wheelchair" and have left it at that, no reason to dwell any more on that point. Of course, and I'm quite sure the gal wouldn't appreciate me leaving a huge detail like that out. I appreciate the insight, maybe one day something will happen

Best of luck to you!
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Posted 8/16/16 , edited 8/16/16
Your assuming that dating websites work well for the non-disabled. Women rarely respond on them.
Posted 8/16/16
The dating world is pretty vicious these days when it comes to appearances.. I've gotten along just fine with physically disabled girls in the past, but to be perfectly honest that was just me running into one coincidentally.

I've never been on one, but I think I imagine dating sites like a shopping catalog for both men and women alike. Frankly, it's just a matter of trying. The chances of finding a girl for you is only zero the second you stop trying.

Best of luck!
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Posted 8/16/16
Face your insecurities, and go out and meet people. As long as you don't go through the effort of socializing offline, you likely won't make any progress. School is an environment that forces people to spend time together, encouraging relationships. You don't have that anymore, and dating sites are very unreliable. You don't want to be seen? Well, it can be assumed that your would-be girlfriend would appreciate spending time with you outside the home, much less, meeting her family and friends. Self-imposed isolation is one hell of a hurdle in any relationship.

I may seem harsh, but I mean well.
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Posted 8/16/16

Rujikin wrote:

Your assuming that dating websites work well for the non-disabled. Women rarely respond on them.


Haha, that makes me feel better.
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Posted 8/16/16 , edited 8/16/16

aeb0717 wrote:

Face your insecurities, and go out and meet people. As long as you don't go through the effort of socializing offline, you likely won't make any progress. School is an environment that forces people to spend time together, encouraging relationships. You don't have that anymore, and dating sites are very unreliable. You don't want to be seen? Well, it can be assumed that your would-be girlfriend would appreciate spending time with you outside the home, much less, meeting her family and friends. Self-imposed isolation is one hell of a hurdle in any relationship.

I may seem harsh, but I mean well.


Eh, that's easier said than done, especially when you're not in the shoes of a power chair user. I appreciate it though, and I do realize sites can sometimes be unreliable. Like I said earlier though in case you missed it, getting out is near impossible to begin with considering where I live and the fact that not everyone has the time to take me out and about.

I originally meant for this post to just form opinions of what you guys think about physically disabled and how you see them as fully able bodied people and whether or not you think they're dateable. I didn't necessarily mean for it to be about me, rather what your guys's thoughts are about dating physically impaired individuals. I just gave my experience and wanted to hear other thoughts on this matter.
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