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Post Reply How do you feel about age gaps?
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Posted 9/13/16
XD because its irrelevant so keep it out of the post please and thank you
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Posted 9/13/16

Cenric wrote:

I don't see any reason to care about age gaps.


Say that in a decade :P

Age matters, but not for the number. It matters as much as education, for example.

When life experiences separate each other too far, or one has to pick up where another lacks, it can cause frustration and resentment. Yes, resentment. The common foe of relationships.

And, also, there are emotional hurdles people make (or fail) at certain points in their lives. For me, personally, dating someone that either has not had a success or finished their education would make me feel uncomfortable, like I had to hold their hand in life.

After 25 or so, age becomes more relative, depending on all of these factors.

This is if you are looking for monogamy and lifelong relationships.

If a person believes relationships are a dynamic part of life, that come and go, then mileage will vary and change.

But to see no reason, to not care, or to think it doesn't matter is not a realistic possibility.
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Posted 9/13/16 , edited 9/13/16

pacificjade wrote:


Cenric wrote:

I don't see any reason to care about age gaps.


Say that in a decade :P

Age matters, but not for the number. It matters as much as education, for example.


Please keep it to relevance the post is about age gaps in relationships not education and anything else in life please and thank you ^-^ Im going to please ask you to change your response or have a mod come in thank you sweetie I just don't want others to target the first part of your message and I'm sorry this needed to be edited lol I accidently clicked post reply. Just try to make it strictly your opinion on age gap relationships not on any other sarcastic thing you wanna say ^^
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Posted 9/13/16
If the relationship works, it works. I think that's all that matters.
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31 / M / Ohio
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Posted 9/13/16
All depends on the situation.
Posted 9/13/16
I'd like to keep the gap as small as possible
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20 / M / Finland
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Posted 9/13/16 , edited 9/13/16

pacificjade wrote:


Cenric wrote:

I don't see any reason to care about age gaps.


Say that in a decade :P

Age matters, but not for the number. It matters as much as education, for example.

When life experiences separate each other too far, or one has to pick up where another lacks, it can cause frustration and resentment. Yes, resentment. The common foe of relationships.

And, also, there are emotional hurdles people make (or fail) at certain points in their lives. For me, personally, dating someone that either has not had a success or finished their education would make me feel uncomfortable, like I had to hold their hand in life.

After 25 or so, age becomes more relative, depending on all of these factors.

This is if you are looking for monogamy and lifelong relationships.

If a person believes relationships are a dynamic part of life, that come and go, then mileage will vary and change.

But to see no reason, to not care, or to think it doesn't matter is not a realistic possibility.


To me it's perfectly realistic. When you see the age of a person would you claim it's informative? Just by seeing the age can you come to the conclusion that this person has her life under control and won't need you babysitting them? For me choosing people I want to keep in my life is important enough to justify deeper, individual inspection instead of relying on probabilities based on a number. Age can be useful when someone is intentionally looking for a partner since people of a certain age group are more likely to satisfy certain conditions. Makes looking for a partner more efficient. Still if you come across a case where all the conditions are satisified, age gap becomes irrelevant. I'm not actively looking for a partner, I have no need for efficiency. If someone with potential ever appears I'll take my time to look at everything one by one.
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Posted 9/13/16 , edited 9/13/16
An age gap is okay for some but I tend to draw the line at age gaps of ten or more years. Too much happens in the span of a decade in my mind for someone to relate to those that are ten years younger then them. They've seen so much more, done so much more , and carry so much more scars, memories, sorrows, and so much more weight that to think they can open up to those who don't carry the same burden is in my mind a foolish notion.

Then of course there are the moral and legal ramifications of loving or dating those below the age of consent or legal adulthood whatever the national laws may be. I think we can agree a grown adult wanting to sleep with a fourteen old is plain wrong regardless of one's own personal beliefs.
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Posted 9/13/16

Cenric wrote:


pacificjade wrote:


Cenric wrote:

I don't see any reason to care about age gaps.


Say that in a decade :P

Age matters, but not for the number. It matters as much as education, for example.

When life experiences separate each other too far, or one has to pick up where another lacks, it can cause frustration and resentment. Yes, resentment. The common foe of relationships.

And, also, there are emotional hurdles people make (or fail) at certain points in their lives. For me, personally, dating someone that either has not had a success or finished their education would make me feel uncomfortable, like I had to hold their hand in life.

After 25 or so, age becomes more relative, depending on all of these factors.

This is if you are looking for monogamy and lifelong relationships.

If a person believes relationships are a dynamic part of life, that come and go, then mileage will vary and change.

But to see no reason, to not care, or to think it doesn't matter is not a realistic possibility.


To me it's perfectly realistic. When you see the age of a person would you claim it's informative? Just by seeing the age can you come to the conclusion that this person has her life under control and won't need you babysitting them? For me choosing people I want to keep in my life is important enough to justify deeper, individual inspection instead of relying on probabilities based on a number. Age can be useful when someone is intentionally looking for a partner since people of a certain age group are more likely to satisfy certain conditions. Makes looking for a partner more efficient. Still if you come across a case where all the conditions are satisified, age gap becomes irrelevant. I'm not actively looking for a partner, I have no need for efficiency. If someone with potential ever appears I'll take my time to look at everything one by one.


You misunderstand. Its about perception, and yours will change in time. That is the point. It is not about judgment.
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Posted 9/13/16
I mean if you're my age, you really are not okay with being with someone 4 years younger than you at all, but I suppose as you get older a 4 year difference becomes less and less of a big deal.
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31 / M / Bellingham WA, USA
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Posted 9/13/16
Age gaps don't bother me at all. My girlfriend is 7 years younger, and its something we rarely ever think about.
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Posted 9/13/16
There is no age gap remember.

It's all about what you can do with money kids.

If you don't believe me, just watch the fucking news, or walk down the street.

But seriously. 4 years max, 5 is pushing it.

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Posted 9/13/16 , edited 9/13/16

pacificjade wrote:

I'll save you the trouble and just not respond in General Section in the future.

I wasn't creating a sub-topic. I was offering one of many examples of how complex things get. The topic itself is a Pandora's Box of discussion.

Referring to someone you don't know as sweetie is patronizing, and I was not using sarcasm. I was trying to contrast absolute examples, since age/time is a relative example, to show people younger than me how time can affect point of view as we mature.


Thanks see you in a different section then ^_^
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Posted 9/13/16 , edited 9/13/16

pacificjade wrote:

You misunderstand. Its about perception, and yours will change in time. That is the point. It is not about judgment.


Oh well, I probably did misunderstand and still do. My first post was about the whole number thing which you already adressed in your post and I am simply in agreement it's more complicated than that. As someone watching from the sidelines I abstain from passing judgement on people who choose to marry with huge age gaps when I can't see the full picture. In my personal life relationships aren't even relevant enough to think about. Which is why I don't care, might change in a decade.

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