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Post Reply So who wants to help Dante out with relationship trouble
Posted 9/15/16


I feel bad now
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Posted 9/15/16

Blackbutler3000 wrote:


1stladyent wrote:

You did mention that you didn't take note of his "probably" did you not? That kind of means you didn't fully read into his response. You don't need to hang on to every single little word. If you have enough experience and training, you'll understand that it's a waste of time to keep going over minor details that don't matter, when it doesn't help or justify the issue at hand. Hearing key points helps you understand what the use of the additional info is about. Especially in the case of the OP, it is not necessary to read every single word. He was asking for advice, not a debate, nor a trial in court.


Its called sarcasm sweetie. ^_^ so yea. And its not a waste of time seeing how those tiny details that fill in the gaps that you seem to over look has helped me through several debates. School. Etc. I'm not saying his situation is relatable in a trial I'm saying you over looking ideas in any situation via the one I mentioned and this one is essential. So no I don't think that overlooking those ideas is helpful at all. You can't say that it helps understand additional info if you don't even look at the additional info.


That's great, if it helps you in school debates, more power to your method. But just because things work in school, does not necessarily apply in the professional world.

Your use of "sweetie" is very patronizing and condescending; try using that in the workforce. When you use such a term or similar to it to address someone in any kind of debate or argument, you lose the opportunity to listen to constructive criticism. I'm not saying hanging on to every little detail is invalid, because it's essential in stenography, transcription, captioning and the like. Maybe you can try your hand at any one of those occupations, since you feel the need to hang on to every little detail.

And if you want to express sarcasm, you might want to put a little more emphasis on your said sarcastic statements. Did you know that when debating in a forum, the use of precise grammar, punctuation, AND expression is essential?
Posted 9/15/16
I wouldn't waste my time with someone like that if I were you
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Posted 9/15/16
She sounds manipulative and irresponsible and I sense a pattern.
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Posted 9/17/16
well if you want to "help" her and such.
Just agree to be "friends".
that you could come a visit her or something to make her feel better.
So it becomes a bit on/off relationship.
Until she might calm down and take it easier on herself or knowing that you are there, but not totally forgotten (depression and despair?)
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Posted 9/18/16 , edited 9/19/16
Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for your input and give everyone an update.

She really doesn't know what she wants. Even after we've talked, her seeing me another two times (the second being her laying her head on my lap) it's like if she didn't care she wouldn't keep doing these things, and maybe she's enjoying this attention a bit too much because I've noticed a slight change in her attitude, like she's getting over-confident? That was the last straw for me, because I'm not going to be treated like an idiot.

I sent her a message basically saying "Sorry, I was still holding onto the past we once had, but you're right, you have hurt me. And after everything else that's happened, I think I've lost feelings for you. I hope you find someone who loves all of you even through all your personal flaws as I did, but I'm moving on"

Then she tries giving me the "lets still be friends though" like I'm still gonna give her attention, I said "Nah, not right now, maybe in the future" when she grows up a bit. Then she was like "I'm gonna miss you" and I said the same back. Then she said "Can I tell you something, I regret losing you, I still have some feelings for you I will desperately miss you but I think we both need this for now, I love you talk whenever xxx"

If that shit was true she wouldn't of done any of this in the first place. Or maybe she just needs to have another few failed relationships that last barely 2 weeks (like all her others) to realise that. Either way I'm not contacting her anymore, don't think I could ever take her back at this point.

Also I woke up to this message today.


I just wanna say one thing..I heard you're meeting a girl at some point and taking her to the fare, if I'm honest I hope she lasts for you. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you and I hope she treats you 100 times better than I did because that's what you deserve. When I heard this it broke my heart but like you said its time to move on and yeah its hard, I hope she's perfect for you and don't you ever change in anyway and i mean it x


lol...

UPDATE: It was very hard to ignore that last message, I really felt like saying some part of me wishes it was you I was taking to the fare, but I continued to ignore. And after college today she messaged me saying she isn't with that guy anymore (lasted 4 days, just as I said). You can't make this shit up. I don't even know what to do anymore, I want her but I just don't know anymore. Her sister told me she was crying just now because she realised how much she hurt me and because she knows I got a date with some other girl now maybe it's finally dawned on her she is going to lose me.
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Posted 9/19/16
I have a friend who recently went through a very similar situation, and I can say that things have been better for her since she has chosen to cut off her ex from her life. It was her very first serious relationship of a year, and when he guiltily admitted to having "been" with this other girl, she decided she needed space, and I encouraged it.

I guess, what I'm try to say is. Sometimes, you gotta burn some bridges to create distance. What they (your ex, her sister, etc.) might not understand is that your feelings are completely valid, and although you may still love her, you can't be happy with her. Maybe not now, maybe in the future, but as for your present, you need to time to heal to be able to be happy for yourself again. And once you're able to be happy, you can start being happy with another person again. Pretty cliche, I know; the whole "love yourself before you can love others" idea, but I really do think that you can't be friends with her if you're going to need to heal all the wounds that she gave you.

But this is just an outsider's view, and I really wish you the best of luck, mate. Hope everything turns out well.
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