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Post Reply What do you think of people who ask for advice, then make excuses to refute them?
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Posted 9/15/16
What do you think of people who ask for advice (on Social Media, from friends and family, forums, etc.), and then make excuses to refute the advice given to them?

What do you think they are getting at?
Is there an underlying problem with the person or the situation?
Are they just looking for attention?

What are your thoughts?
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Posted 9/15/16
I think they are pretty normal as they're simply looking for validation for the position they already hold. People who disagree with them, despite any connection with reality, are obviously wrong and without merit.

Basically what I think they're getting at is 'make me feel better about my spineless choice that I have already made but need to justify'. There are an almost infinite number of underlying problems with both the person and their specific situation(s), but all that really matters for them is being told 'you have performed well'.

I think it is representative of the signs of a dying civilization and should be looked at with both alarm and a severe sense of caution.
Posted 9/15/16 , edited 9/15/16
In all honesty I am sadly one of those people who asks for advice and then say a reason I can't they see it as I am making excuses or i'm trying to get out of it when in all honesty it is a 100% valid reason.

Like I have no idea on how to drive a car and well I am to scared to do to my adhd in all honesty because I get bored extremely easily and start playing with things and get distracted extremely easily. So 100% afraid it would kick in while i'm driving and next thing i'm not on the road anymore or crash into someone.

I tell people that and they don't understand or think I'm making it up I mean I'm really not in all honesty my adhd is so bad I had to drop out of college because of it I couldn't stay focused and was literally going crazy from doing school work 24/7 non stop without a break.
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28 / F / Charlotte, NC
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Posted 9/15/16

1stladyent wrote:

What do you think of people who ask for advice (on Social Media, from friends and family, forums, etc.), and then make excuses to refute the advice given to them?

What do you think they are getting at?
Is there an underlying problem with the person or the situation?
Are they just looking for attention?

What are your thoughts?



First of all, I find it to be annoying. If you seek true advice, at least give great consideration to the advice given. If you have doubts about such advice, ask. People give advice based off of personal experiences, generally speaking, and if they are taking time to offer that advice it is because they are trying to save you from the same peril they too have faced.

I think those who do not heed advice are just seeking validation. They know in their hearts what they must do, but they don't want to face the cold reality because of an attachment or addiction. I also believe that there could be an underlying problem with the person and or situation - but mostly, it just ultimately refers back to the not wanting to cope with reality due to attachment. Perhaps they are seeking attention, but in my personal opinion its kind of embarrassing to put all of your personal life out there unless you're really trying to seek a solution and you're just unclear and at an impasse of how to overcome it.
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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 9/15/16
haha I'm sorry
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(´◔౪◔)✂❤
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Posted 9/15/16
because bad advice exist...?
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/15/16
Stupid unless the advice is bad or you have tried it you should take the advice and try it out if it doesn't work go back to point a.
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Posted 9/15/16
I think I want to tell them to grow a spine.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 9/15/16
"A waste of time and effort," particularly when they seem to not consider the advice for even a second. I've found that those sort of people are self-pitying types who prefer to "boo-hoo" and receive shallow shows of sympathy, or wish to sit back and let other people clean up after them, rather than help themselves and do anything about rectifying their situations.

It's rare that I see people zealously shoot down advice for legitimate reasons. Even if advice is bad and people realize it, I've noticed that the average person usually has the courtesy to behave fairly gracious for any advice, even though he/she won't necessarily follow through with what is deemed faulty guidance. Apparently, many people take the whole "beggars can't be choosers" thing into account, instead of being cunts.
Humms 
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24 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 9/15/16

1stladyent wrote:


Are they just looking for attention?


Bingo!!

Someone does it to them so they do the exact same thing.

Bringing someone down to their level.

\○/ people are so easy it hurts.

Banned
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Earth
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Posted 9/15/16
I smack them in the face for wasting my time.
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Posted 9/15/16 , edited 9/18/16

Xxanthar wrote:

I smack them in the face for wasting my time.


I like your advice, I think I will be using this one next time. Seems effective.
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24 / M
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Posted 9/15/16
I don't think someone is obligated to do what you suggest if they ask for help, but there are certainly people who ask for advice just to validate their own positions which can get quite annoying.
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8500 / F / Apollo...
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Posted 9/15/16

gornotck wrote:

I think it is representative of the signs of a dying civilization and should be looked at with both alarm and a severe sense of caution.


This does seem to apply to leaders with big egos that defy logic and rationale. A dying civilization it is.
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69 / M / Limbo
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Posted 9/15/16
Because they're fishing for pity.
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