Long Distance Relationship Advice
Posted 9/16/16
I suppose should start from the beginning. 3 months ago I was hired by the USDA for a job in California, and it happened to be a seasonal job (It just ended yesterday). In that time I was provided "field housing" in which I was living with 2 random strangers, one guy and one girl. Of course we all got to know each other over time and became friends.

Anyways, that girl and I started to get really close. I spent most of my time just working with her, and in my free time we did things together like watching movies, going to amusement parks, the zoo, etc. So we were basically around each other like 24/7 haha. It's pretty obvious that we both have feelings for each other, but now that the job is over....we'll be going our separate ways as we find other jobs, so that sucks...unless we miraculously find jobs in the same area again.

I do want a relationship to come out of this, but I'm not to sure about the whole long distance thing. Mainly because of the not being able to see each other and do things regularly. So if anyone is in a long distance relationship could you please let know what would be a good way to go about this, or how you handle it? Or maybe I should just move on?


Posted 9/16/16
My advice.



Don't do it.
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25 / M / Germany
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Posted 9/16/16

Hail_King_Kakao wrote:

My advice.



Don't do it.


This
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19 / F / UK
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Posted 9/16/16

Subaru_Natsuki wrote:


Hail_King_Kakao wrote:

My advice.



Don't do it.


This


Also this, though I just came out of a 3 year LDR and it was good while it lasted.
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Posted 9/16/16
I think I should make it abundantly clear that it is going to be difficult. Very, very difficult. The key to doing it right is to make sure you see each other in person from time to time. My recommendation is to try to see each other every 8 months at minimum if you intend to stay apart from each other for several years. If you guys can you should save up as much money as possible between the two of you until you can move in together. However your post gives me the impression that you guys don't earn a whole lot and will be moved around for work a lot anyway, to the point where you might not be able to settle in together. If that is true then I strongly suggest you forget about it.
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Posted 9/16/16
I'm American, my husband is Swedish. We've been married now for 2.5 years. But before all of that, we had a very long distance relationship as he was in the Swedish military. He would come to stay with me for a month, up to a few depending on his job, at a time. He made the effort for me, which was amazing.

Before, I would have agreed with much of the sentiment here, but I can honestly say it can be done if you really love this individual. If you are having doubts, then I would say moving on is better.
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Posted 9/16/16
Here's my take: It depends on if you and the girl are willing to go through the trials and tribulations of an LDR.

I've been in a couple myself, mainly because back then I would travel so much I lived off my luggage and airport lounges.

I can honestly say, it's going to be difficult. The more attached and in-love you are with the other person, you will have to go through a lot of patience and understanding; knowing that you can't just easily pick up the phone or send them a text/email whenever you please, let alone see them face-to-face. But, what I did find true, was "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Through the limited channels of communication, you will be able to be efficient in diving deeper into an intelligent conversation or getting to know that person a lot more. When you do get to see each other in person, that's when the extra magic mojo voodoo stuff happens.

Both of you have to be willing to commit to this LDR, and it is a bit more work than a normal relationship where you get to see each other every day, or as often as you please. Temptations can either bore you or break you, depending on how willing you want to be with this person, and it is the same for the other party as well. The key thing is open communication, and setting some sort of time that you both can spend with each other, since it would already be limited.

Ask her if it's something she'd be willing to do, since you're already somewhat ready to take the plunge. If she says yes, then I don't see why not.

If you're still on that boat, good luck to you, and I hope it works out in your favor.
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Posted 9/16/16
Here's some brief advice that'll seem new. Go for it
You don't have anything to lose. If you never go for it then there's a lose right there. ^^ if you really want a relationship to come out of it then do just that. If it doesn't work out it doesn't work out. You won't know until you try. And you never know you may do just that ^_^ so go for it.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 9/16/16
LDRs can be worth it if done right with the right person. Others here have given great advice and I can only add one more piece. If you go for it, use a videoconferencing program like Skype very often. It's actually a very self-assuring thing to see each others faces every day if the feelings are there. It'll keep you together until you can physically get together again.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 9/17/16
It can work if OP and their partner wants it to.
Posted 9/17/16
Thank you all for the advice! I'm gonna continue thinking things over, but your advice was helpful nonetheless.
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Posted 9/18/16
Keep in touch as friends and see if it goes anywhere. However, I will admit I recently got out of a long distance situation in which I kind of felt trapped (making all the effort to fly out to see her every few months, no meeting me halfway) and now that I have escaped it I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. It sucks, but if it is meant to me things will just work out a way will present itself

Long story short, keep your options open, but I see no reason to go ahead and burn bridges...yet.
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Posted 24 days ago , edited 24 days ago
Closed because OP nuked
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