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Post Reply I screwed up with a girl. Need advice on how to procced on monday at school (Highschool)
1718 cr points
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19 / M / Australia
Posted 11/1/16

Blackbutler3000 wrote:

A_RandomGuy wrote:

Take romantic relationship advise on a forum that mostly consists of kids who who don't have the best social skills with a grain of salt. And add some paragraphs when you write.

How about you try reading and realizing these "kids" actually have legitment advice and know what they're talking about. Just a suggestion tho

I'm sure there are. But generally in circumstunces like these there are some bad ones. Thus the grain of salt.
165 cr points
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36 / M
Posted 11/4/16
You are a shy loner, it shouldn't really bother you that much. But you weren't really in a relationship anyway, so move on and learn what you did. And try not texting, that isn't a relationship either. You are just acquaintances at that point as neither of you knew each other at all, which you even stated. If you meet after school, hold hands while walking....then you can start saying its a relationship, as a shy introvert.
7077 cr points
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21 / F / USA
Posted 11/5/16
The way I see it you have two options. You can do the sensible and smart thing and move on.

Your other option is of course to eliminate this 'Gavin'. Challenge him to duel and settle this like men with cold steel on the parade grounds at dawn.

But if you are asking Crunchyroll for help you probably won't last against Gavin in a Duel of Honour. So you should probably just move on.
26306 cr points
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23 / M / Richmond, Indiana
Posted 11/23/16

I know this has been dead for a while, and you may know all of this by now, but I figure I would offer up my advice.

I'm going to do a dissection for this due to the length of your post, and due to multiple points that need to be made.

Monday a friend found out i liked this girl in my history class. He then went up to her in his math class. And said "Hi, i have a shy friend who has a crush on you. In your history class" (fuck up number 1).

This is not a fuck up if you did not ask him to do this. This is a friend who innocently thought he was helping you out.

Fast forward to Wednesday. No response, so idiotic me sends "hi good morning." (2nd Fuck up)

This is also not a fuck up, it's okay to tell people 'hi' as well as 'good morning'. You were right to believe she was just at work, and did the right thing giving her space.

Day goes by and its lunch. I see her in the library and im headed there anyways. So i say "hi whats up." She said "Hi" and then ran off.

This was a flag, and you did well not to chase it at that moment.

I then find out from some other friends, she was crying in her class before lunch. So stupid me, then texts "Hey are you ok, i heard from some friends that you were feeling sad. i know we dont know each other well, but i here if you want to talk" (3rd Fuck yup).

Alright, now here is where there is a slight error on your part - never tell a woman that you heard how she was feeling from someone else. Doing that makes it look like you weren't able to catch on by your own means. Granted that is a boo boo, it is not a big enough issue to warrant her immediate rejection of you. This is a learning moment.

She doesnt reply till the end of school. She txted "No thanks, i have best friends to talk to." My reply was "alrighty that makes sense, hop everything gets better." And i also sent "i apologize for my awkwardness" (4th fuck up).

This is hurtful and a bit sharp coming from her. You are only trying to be there for her. I would say that this is a red flag - someone who can cut you with words like that has little regard or respect for others and their feelings. Also, you have not been overly awkward up to this point as far as we can tell without the full details of your earlier conversation. No need to apologize even if you are awkward - that's your quirk, use it to your advantage and see it as a strength, not a hindrance.

Second half- tried talking to her, unable to.

Not sure I follow what you mean by this?

Texted her at work saying "hi whats up." She replys with "i cant talk, hanging out with nic tonight." (Sorta bitchy reponse)(Another fuck up).

Some people do find it rude to text others when they are with company - that being said you can take her response however you wish, but I do agree with you - she's been pretty short with you up to this point.

i talk with gavin with what i shoukd reply with. I wanted to say "ok cool have fun."Gavin made me send "alright ill leave you alone, im out. Thanks hope it was great destorying my feelings."

This in my opinion was your first huge mistake. NEVER ever let someone message someone else for you. Also, take responsibility. Gavin can't make you do anything unless you allow him to. You made the choice to go with what Gavin wanted to send. Again, learning experience.

She replies with "okay? Hes my best friend, i dont know you well." I then apologize and tell the truth of how i was following friends ideas and not my own.

Her response was reasonable given what you sent her prior. Bad idea to tell her you are bringing friends in on it. Again, it should be you and her. No one else.

She responds with "okay, just so you know im not intrested in you anyways."

Alright, she has indicated that she is not interested in you, quite bluntly. This means back off. No. No more from you.
Now the questions are as follows:
Is it really over?
That's up to you. If you think she is worth it, then you have some work to do.
What are the red flags?
She's either very blunt, or very inconsiderate of others feelings, perhaps both.
What can you do to make things go in your favor with this girl?
First, understand that only you can 'make' you do anything. If you want to feel happy, feel happy, no one can 'make' you feel any other way than what you want to feel like.
Second, wait at least 4 months, preferably 6. In this time, focus on your confidence. Be more charismatic. Look up tips on how to take the initiative. Dress to impress, dress for success. A dress shirt and dress pants with a sweater or vest and tie go a long way with the ladies (that are worth your time in the long run). Spend your money right. Take care of your body, and you will glow, and the ladies will show.
Make sure you learn full respect. All ladies, are to be call 'Miss' - "yes miss?" "can I help you miss?" "here miss let me grab that for you".
Practice. Practice. Practice.
Grades need to stay up. You can look and act as gentlemanly as possible, but if you have failing grades, you look stupid - even if you aren't.
Get a part time job if you don't already have one. This equals responsibility and dependability.
Dress nice at your job, unless they have required uniforms.
Any further questions - send me a PM.

** i have seen and understand my mistakes. I have learned from them.

Even when you think you have learned it all, reread the book, because you will have a new understanding from reading the end.
Reread the book again in five years with hundreds of new experiences - it will have changed yet again.

But i still have feelings for this girl and hope i could recover this and still have a realtionship.

Be confident. If you have hope, then you can repair any relationship.

Everyone keeps telling me to move on and/or abstain from any form of contact with her.

I don't know who 'everyone' is. But if you really want the relationship to happen, then yes abstain for now, focus on you, and then gradually work back into it. - abstain for now, not forever. No need to move on, unless you don't want the relationship at all, or unless you are unwilling to change. Move forward if you do. If you fall, fall forward. Learn, get back up, keep moving forward.

Btw im a very anti-social shy person. I have a hard time talking to people. Let alone girls.

Takes practice, just like anything in life worth doing. Believe in yourself.

Please tell me what you think i should do/how to procced on monday at school (history class is gonna be a very awkward exp. on monday)

Monday is probably over already by the time you read this, but I would have recommended just being yourself, and let what happens happen.

Hope everything works out, and if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me.
16317 cr points
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18 / M / America
Posted 11/24/16 , edited 11/26/16

Thank you sir for your help. This ended with me and her within a week after. She completely ignores me now, talks bad about me to others, and is showing people my old texts with her. I still find her attractive but the feelings of crush have ended. Aswell people have seen shes actually a horrible person through other things she has done. I have looked back on this experenice and learned alot. Be myself, have confidence about myself, think a lot more before acting, dont let others do actions for me, do not overthink, and dont jump the gun so early. Ill hopeful find the special one for me someday. I just need to be my normal self. I have alot about myself since that occurence, and 2 close friends have helped me. I have found myself and will proceed to be.
16317 cr points
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18 / M / America
Posted 11/24/16
Also i apologize to all readers of this post, for my horrible grammer and non use of paragragphs
974 cr points
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21 / F / Sweden
Posted 11/24/16
Yea I'd move on, being just friends will prob be hard on your part and she is not interested anyway
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