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Post Reply I have unintentionally turned down sex at least 5 times. Help.
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16
As you have read in the title i am rather socially oblivious. It's not that i am like not good looking, i get cat called by girls quite often and or called "cute" or "attractive" and the all too common "hot" (More than i would expect of myself). Finding girls that are interested in me isn't an issue, it's the social ques that's the issue. How do i tell that a girl is actually wanting to have sex?



For example: One time i was at a house party. A girl i was talking to said "Hey, let's go up stairs i wanna show you something" Obviously meaning sex (She also confirmed that she wanted sex when i texted her the next morning)

To which i replied: "No, i'd rather stay down here. Heat rises and it might be too hot up there. Plus i wanna finish the movie!"

There are plenty of other times in which the exact same thing happen, to which i found myself hating myself a few hours after.


You might say "Well, why not just not do the things you were doing!" But that's the thing... I don't realize i am doing it, it just happens.


Any advice?
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M / Seattle, Washington
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Posted 9/19/16 , edited 9/19/16
I can confirm everything he's saying... It's really sad.
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 9/19/16
Mate ...just agree with whatever the other party is proposing if sexual intercourse is your desired outcome. It's not fucking quantum physics or long range marksmanship.
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 9/19/16

FuruBoks wrote:

As you have read in the title i am rather socially oblivious. It's not that i am like not good looking, i get cat called by girls quite often and or called "cute" or "attractive" and the all too common "hot" (More than i would expect of myself). Finding girls that are interested in me isn't an issue, it's the social ques that's the issue. How do i tell that a girl is actually wanting to have sex?



For example: One time i was at a house party. A girl i was talking to said "Hey, let's go up stairs i wanna show you something" Obviously meaning sex (She also confirmed that she wanted sex when i texted her the next morning)

To which i replied: "No, i'd rather stay down here. Heat rises and it might be too hot up there. Plus i wanna finish the movie!"

There are plenty of other times in which the exact same thing happen, to which i found myself hating myself a few hours after.


You might say "Well, why not just not do the things you were doing!" But that's the thing... I don't realize i am doing it, it just happens.


Any advice?


I would help but I'm a jealous selfish asshole, so good luck with your "problem".

Posted 9/19/16 , edited 9/19/16
Whether you realize the person wants sex at the time or not just try not to be so quick to say no. Worse case you end up wasting a little of your time.
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16
It's not like i'm on a date with them. It's just like at parties and stuff. I don't like dates. It's too weird for me, id rather let the moment come naturally but obviously it's not working out for me.
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26 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 9/19/16
Maybe just try to get a girlfriend first?

I on the other hand have just given up completely. All hail my great wizard powers!!!!!

Posted 9/19/16
I hate you
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16

Kira0309 wrote:

Maybe just try to get a girlfriend first?

I on the other hand have just given up completely. All hail my great wizard powers!!!!!




Yeah, that would work as well. I just have a hard time choosing the right one. I am scared they only like me for looks. Not my personality. I don't want to just be something nice to look at, i want the other person and i to have a connection. Idk maybe i am just too paranoid about things and need to losin up a bit.
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16


Posted 9/19/16 , edited 9/19/16

FuruBoks wrote:

It's not like i'm on a date with them. It's just like at parties and stuff. I don't like dates. It's too weird for me, id rather let the moment come naturally but obviously it's not working out for me.


It doesn't have to be a date, if you are talking to them and they make an excuse to be alone with you, go along with it. You might be rewarded for it.
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16

nooneinparticular wrote:


FuruBoks wrote:

It's not like i'm on a date with them. It's just like at parties and stuff. I don't like dates. It's too weird for me, id rather let the moment come naturally but obviously it's not working out for me.


It doesn't have to be a date, if you are talking to them and they make an excuse to be alone with you, go along with it.




That is the number one que that i fail to find. I wish they would just ask me "Hey, let's go into that room and have sex" That would make things a lot easier on me. Sadly, not only is that awkward, but that is really fucking weird.
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In a basket of de...
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Posted 9/19/16
Sounds like autism.
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17 / M / MI
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Posted 9/19/16

Xxanthar wrote:

Sounds like autism.


I have been tested. It's not.
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M / Seattle, Washington
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Posted 9/19/16 , edited 9/19/16

Xxanthar wrote:

Sounds like autism.

Maybe, he's really fucking stupid when it comes to jokes as well
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