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Post Reply Anyone else not agree with the "Everyone comes and goes" mindset
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Posted 9/26/16
Sure the majority does but to assume you can't have a select few friends who stay for life to me seems really naive and ignorant.

what does everyone else thing...personally i don't become really good friends with someone unless i think it will last for years to come or till i die.

Though shit happens as life is life.


I myself never plan to leave my friends unless they hurt me or kill someone what would make you leave a friend :o?
Posted 9/26/16
It's not like I don't want to, I just have trouble keeping in touch with people.
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Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16
I only stay friends with people I actually like as a person.



Shitty people and those I stop caring about--I leave alone.

People come and go. Just how it is.
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Posted 9/26/16
All friends are temporary.
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Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16

EichiXIII wrote:

All friends are temporary.


what about the ones who stay till you die..you count them as temporary?
Not disagreeing with your opinion just curious as i have known people who had friends till they died
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Posted 9/26/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


EichiXIII wrote:

All friends are temporary.


what about the ones who stay till you die..you count them as temporary?
Not disagreeing with your opinion just curious as i have known people who had friends till they died :P


It's not the same for everyone. Someone else having a friend until the end means nothing to the person who never/rarely has/had a friend. For some people, sure, friends are lifelong. To me, though, friends are only temporary and not worth the effort.
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Posted 9/26/16

EichiXIII wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


EichiXIII wrote:

All friends are temporary.


what about the ones who stay till you die..you count them as temporary?
Not disagreeing with your opinion just curious as i have known people who had friends till they died :P


It's not the same for everyone. Someone else having a friend until the end means nothing to the person who never/rarely has/had a friend. For some people, sure, friends are lifelong. To me, though, friends are only temporary and not worth the effort.


Makes sense and that's very fair thanks for explaining
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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 9/26/16
Most of the friends I grew up with I just chat occasionally with on social media. We don't hang out, we just congratulate each other on life achievements and such. As you get older, people move on, they get there own lives, partners, wives, husbands, kids, have to move away for work or education. You're lucky if you keep more than two through that transition. Then you live your own life, get your own families and jobs and find a few new friends through that. Sometimes life takes them in a different direction, sometimes they stay for the duration. It's just the way it is.
People do come and go, because they have their own lives to lead and I'd feel guilty if they were stupid enough to give up on something just to stay near me. Bloody ridiculous is what that is. They were once my friend and I want the best for them. If that means they move on, then so be it, I want them to be as happy as possible.
It does happen though that sometimes your life and someone else's takes you in the same directions and you remain close, and you should always try and be grateful for that because it takes just one thing in your life or theirs for that to change. Embrace your friendships and don't mourn the ones you've lost.
Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16
Werina 
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Posted 9/26/16
no, hrafna is still here
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Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16
Let's just say I think it's very optimistic to say that you will have 2 lifelong friends. That's how many childhood friends my mother is still in contact with after 50 years. Even those friendships are much more distant than before with one of the friends moving to a different country and contact is rather rare. Then on the other hand there are people with 0 lifelong friends. Never met a person with much more than that unless they're very young and "lifelong" actually means a short time.

There's always conditions to friendship, different kinds of people with different goals and conditions don't stay together just because. If someone decides they don't want to be with me I won't question that. Instead of wasting time on that I'll just focus on the people and chances I still have. Being with someone even for a very short duration can be valuable, time alone has no value to me. There's no guarantee things won't change, I stay with people because I want to and because they want to stay with me.

So ye I don't agree with the "Everyone" part of that mindset since I have observational evidence that suggest otherwise. Still I think it's much more naive and ignorant to EXPECT people to stay with you forever when in fact, that is very, very rarely the case. Sure you can always hope but anything more than that is unrealistic.

"Almost everyone come and go" would be a statement I can sign.
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:

Most of the friends I grew up with I just chat occasionally with on social media. We don't hang out, we just congratulate each other on life achievements and such. As you get older, people move on, they get there own lives, partners, wives, husbands, kids, have to move away for work or education. You're lucky if you keep more than two through that transition. Then you live your own life, get your own families and jobs and find a few new friends through that. Sometimes life takes them in a different direction, sometimes they stay for the duration. It's just the way it is.
People do come and go, because they have their own lives to lead and I'd feel guilty if they were stupid enough to give up on something just to stay near me. Bloody ridiculous is what that is. They were once my friend and I want the best for them. If that means they move on, then so be it, I want them to be as happy as possible.
It does happen though that sometimes your life and someone else's takes you in the same directions and you remain close, and you should always try and be grateful for that because it takes just one thing in your life or theirs for that to change. Embrace your friendships and don't mourn the ones you've lost.


Hmm unless it's a good reason I personally dislike a friend from the moment they leave well not in a I hate you way more like a well ok I didn't need you anyway jerk way.

I have always mourned lost friendships but the world must go on.

Still I think about my old friends daily and hope the best for them even if I see them as jerks
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Posted 9/26/16

Ryulightorb

Hmm unless it's a good reason I personally dislike a friend from the moment they leave well not in a I hate you way more like a well ok I didn't need you anyway jerk way.

I have always mourned lost friendships but the world must go on.

Still I think about my old friends daily and hope the best for them even if I see them as jerks


There's precious little time in this world, you shouldn't spend it wondering what might have been. For good or bad, you learn from the friendships you made and they can make you a better person. Instead of mourning a lost friend, try celebrating the time you had with them and take what you learned from the relationship to make you stronger.

If the friendship went sour, then remember the good times and be thankful that the bad is now out of your life and you're able to move on.
Posted 9/26/16
i dont understand whats wrong with killing y'all dont understand that even the cruelest of acts can be forgiven


and to the question, idk fam, friends come and go idd, dont waste ur time.
Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16


You said everything perfectly Sprite.

It's too bad life has to be like this though because I sure as hell would love to have some life-long friends lol.

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