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Post Reply Anyone else not agree with the "Everyone comes and goes" mindset
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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 9/26/16

stars201

You said everything perfectly Sprite.

It's too bad life has to be like this though because I sure as hell would love to have some life-long friends lol.



It would be nice, wouldn't it? I wish I could keep some friends to the end too. Whatever happens though, happens. I'll always be grateful for the people that have been in my life and the happiness they've given me and the lessons they've taught me. They move on, I move on and the world moves on.
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Posted 9/26/16
I haven't had any close friends, just regular friends that come and go. I should also balme myself for this since I'm terrible at keeping in contact with people >.<.
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb

Hmm unless it's a good reason I personally dislike a friend from the moment they leave well not in a I hate you way more like a well ok I didn't need you anyway jerk way.

I have always mourned lost friendships but the world must go on.

Still I think about my old friends daily and hope the best for them even if I see them as jerks


There's precious little time in this world, you shouldn't spend it wondering what might have been. For good or bad, you learn from the friendships you made and they can make you a better person. Instead of mourning a lost friend, try celebrating the time you had with them and take what you learned from the relationship to make you stronger.

If the friendship went sour, then remember the good times and be thankful that the bad is now out of your life and you're able to move on.



Eh i think there is time for both mourning and celebrating
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Posted 9/26/16

Cenric wrote:

Let's just say I think it's very optimistic to say that you will have 2 lifelong friends. That's how many childhood friends my mother is still in contact with after 50 years. Even those friendships are much more distant than before with one of the friends moving to a different country and contact is rather rare. Then on the other hand there are people with 0 lifelong friends. Never met a person with much more than that unless they're very young and "lifelong" actually means a short time.

There's always conditions to friendship, different kinds of people with different goals and conditions don't stay together just because. If someone decides they don't want to be with me I won't question that. Instead of wasting time on that I'll just focus on the people and chances I still have. Being with someone even for a very short duration can be valuable, time alone has no value to me. There's no guarantee things won't change, I stay with people because I want to and because they want to stay with me.

So ye I don't agree with the "Everyone" part of that mindset since I have observational evidence that suggest otherwise. Still I think it's much more naive and ignorant to EXPECT people to stay with you forever when in fact, that is very, very rarely the case. Sure you can always hope but anything more than that is unrealistic.

"Almost everyone come and go" would be a statement I can sign.


Thats true i guess personally once they go i don't see them as people worthy being my friend but even if its only temporary its good to cherish it while you have it.

Im lucky because i have people who want to stay friends with me forever and will go out of their way to do so which i do also.

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Posted 9/26/16

Nalyx wrote:

i dont understand whats wrong with killing y'all dont understand that even the cruelest of acts can be forgiven


and to the question, idk fam, friends come and go idd, dont waste ur time.


I...like your attitude *Thumbs up*
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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 9/26/16

Ryulightorb


Eh i think there is time for both mourning and celebrating :D


Sure, it's natural to miss people but you can't let it blind you and get in the way of your own future. That's why you take the good times with you and look back fondly instead of focusing on the negative aspects of it.
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb


Eh i think there is time for both mourning and celebrating :D


Sure, it's natural to miss people but you can't let it blind you and get in the way of your own future. That's why you take the good times with you and look back fondly instead of focusing on the negative aspects of it.


I let the negative impact how i choose friends so i pick ones who stay longer well thats what i have been trying to do
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Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16

Ryulightorb

I let the negative impact how i choose friends so i pick ones who stay longer well thats what i have been trying to do


Rarely works like that though. Takes a while to truly get to know a person and by that time, you could have already formed an attachment. You can use what you've learned to spot the signs as the relationship develops but like I said, people could leave any time and if you're going to be resentful of someone moving on and living their own lives at some point in the future, then you really need to question just what they meant to you on the first place and just what you're wanting from a person.
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Posted 9/26/16
I agree that friends come and go but with some people, at some point they stop being friends and become family. I have people I've known my whole life and can honestly say I couldn't picture my life without them. Our relationships are still strong as ever even after 10 years of living across the world from each other. Despite not being actually being related, I can say with absolute certainty that they will always be in my life, just like my blood relatives will be.
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Posted 9/26/16
I would say it's less of a matter on agreeing. More just looking at the reality of the situation.

We live. We die. We come, we go.- Rather you agree with it or not, it's fact.
Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


Nalyx wrote:

i dont understand whats wrong with killing y'all dont understand that even the cruelest of acts can be forgiven


and to the question, idk fam, friends come and go idd, dont waste ur time.


I...like your attitude *Thumbs up*


nah fammmm my att1tude sux balls but yknow the thing is to just appreciate those close fms ynow

i dont have fams i prefer it that way ynow anyways iwouldn't bother with those k1nd of ppl anymore even if they have complete reasonable reasons for distancing themselves from you, who knows? Life is weird.
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb

I let the negative impact how i choose friends so i pick ones who stay longer well thats what i have been trying to do


Rarely works like that though. Takes a while to truly get to know a person and by that time, you could have already formed an attachment. You can use what you've learned to spot the signs as the relationship develops but like I said, people could leave any time and if you're going to be resentful of someone moving on and living their own lives at some point in the future, then you really need to question just what they meant to you on the first place and just what you're wanting from a person.


I want friends who don't leave im not really interested in getting attached to people who leave sadly i have always been like that
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Posted 9/26/16

RhYS331 wrote:

I would say it's less of a matter on agreeing. More just looking at the reality of the situation.

We live. We die. We come, we go.- Rather you agree with it or not, it's fact.


Factually though not everyone does go...but people don't stay either.

There is a ton of possibilities i think its naive to say either is true imo.
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Posted 9/26/16 , edited 9/26/16

Ryulightorb

I want friends who don't leave im not really interested in getting attached to people who leave sadly i have always been like that


Then you're probably in for a life of disappointment. Wanting someone to stay around just for you and not give themselves a chance at a better life should the opportunity arise is pretty bloody selfish. People have their own lives and should make of it what they can if they can. If you can't respect that then the problem is with you, not them.
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Posted 9/26/16
Yes, everyone dies. This does indeed happen. There's no history of anybody being immortal. We have taken steps to figuring out the possibilities, yet no one is living forever. There's no way you can tell me you stay in one spot forever. Therefore you have come and you have gone.

You enter grade school- being mentored by the teachers in grade school who have come into your life. Next step, is high school (or middle school, depending on your geographical location etc.) You have come into grade school and now gone from grade school. Not to mention those who go to different schools and lose contact with

When we age. We have come to one age to be into another age. All these signs point to things coming and going. As we age, different people enter our lives. Different people leave our lives.

People moving and losing contact with you. That person now has come and is now gone. So yeah, these are in fact things of life. Again not something you can agree with, it's something that happens.
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