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Post Reply Anyone else not agree with the "Everyone comes and goes" mindset
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22 / M
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Posted 9/26/16
Whats this?
"Quack!"...
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb

I want friends who don't leave im not really interested in getting attached to people who leave sadly i have always been like that


Then you're probably in for a life of disappointment. Wanting someone to stay around just for you and not give themselves a chance at a better life should the opportunity arise is pretty bloody selfish. People have their own lives and should make of it what they can if they can. If you can't respect that then the problem is with you, not them.



Of course they do have their own life that goes without saying im not selfish enough to force them and i know i am haha my reason for living is to find friends who will stay by me for life.

Kind of already accepted my life is going to be shit because thats how most people are.

Not everyone can have a good life i accept that im going to be dissapointed in my life but that doesn't mean i won't try to have as much fun in it with what i have.

Im Jealous of those who can be ok with people coming and going but on the other hand i wouldn't want to ever be like that myself :)

I have friends who won't leave most likely so im fine and when the time comes and if they do leave then sure ill be sad i might even become suicidal or depressed again however i will live and continue on because life is dissapointment but it is also happiness and fun.

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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

RhYS331 wrote:

Yes, everyone dies. This does indeed happen. There's no history of anybody being immortal. We have taken steps to figuring out the possibilities, yet no one is living forever. There's no way you can tell me you stay in one spot forever. Therefore you have come and you have gone.

You enter grade school- being mentored by the teachers in grade school who have come into your life. Next step, is high school (or middle school, depending on your geographical location etc.) You have come into grade school and now gone from grade school. Not to mention those who go to different schools and lose contact with

When we age. We have come to one age to be into another age. All these signs point to things coming and going. As we age, different people enter our lives. Different people leave our lives.

People moving and losing contact with you. That person now has come and is now gone. So yeah, these are in fact things of life. Again not something you can agree with, it's something that happens.


No one is arguing against death.

I have friends who won't lose contact with me and i won't lose contact with them we have pledged a promise to always be friends and keep in touch unless something happens that splits us up.

So it might happen it might not fact is no one can say what will happen its up to chance and circumstance i believe.
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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 9/26/16

Ryulightorb


Of course they do have their own life that goes without saying im not selfish enough to force them and i know i am haha my reason for living is to find friends who will stay by me for life.

Kind of already accepted my life is going to be shit because thats how most people are.

Not everyone can have a good life i accept that im going to be dissapointed in my life but that doesn't mean i won't try to have as much fun in it with what i have.

Im Jealous of those who can be ok with people coming and going but on the other hand i wouldn't want to ever be like that myself :)

I have friends who won't leave most likely so im fine and when the time comes and if they do leave then sure ill be sad i might even become suicidal or depressed again however i will live and continue on because life is dissapointment but it is also happiness and fun.



That's the thing though, you say you have friends who most likely won't leave but you really can't know that. 5 years down the line, ten years, hell even when you're in your 60s, these people could move on. Just try to be happy for them and try to be happy that they shared a good part of your life. You can't put too much expectations on the length of any given relationship because thay way lies disappointment. Live in and for the moments, not for the full picture, because you never know what's around the corner.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb


Of course they do have their own life that goes without saying im not selfish enough to force them and i know i am haha my reason for living is to find friends who will stay by me for life.

Kind of already accepted my life is going to be shit because thats how most people are.

Not everyone can have a good life i accept that im going to be dissapointed in my life but that doesn't mean i won't try to have as much fun in it with what i have.

Im Jealous of those who can be ok with people coming and going but on the other hand i wouldn't want to ever be like that myself :)

I have friends who won't leave most likely so im fine and when the time comes and if they do leave then sure ill be sad i might even become suicidal or depressed again however i will live and continue on because life is dissapointment but it is also happiness and fun.



That's the thing though, you say you have friends who most likely won't leave but you really can't know that. 5 years down the line, ten years, hell even when you're in your 60s, these people could move on. Just try to be happy for them and try to be happy that they shared a good part of your life. You can't put too much expectations on the length of any given relationship because thay way lies disappointment. Live in and for the moments, not for the full picture, because you never know what's around the corner.


Oh yeah i don't know they could leave me i would be happy but when they leave i would become depressed and hate life and close myself off.

I like the moments but i know if i do lose my friend in the future i will sink into despair.

But its highly likely i will have other friends to cheer me up in the case so life goes on it may be sad and depressing to the point i get suicidal when i lose someone i hold dearly but that doesn't mean i can't enjoy being with them now and deal with the negative future when it happens and get past it
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34 / M / Yorkshire
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Posted 9/26/16

Ryulightorb

Oh yeah i don't know they could leave me i would be happy but when they leave i would become depressed and hate life and close myself off.

I like the moments but i know if i do lose my friend in the future i will sink into despair.

But its highly likely i will have other friends to cheer me up in the case so life goes on it may be sad and depressing to the point i get suicidal when i lose someone i hold dearly but that doesn't mean i can't enjoy being with them now and deal with the negative future when it happens and get past it


Your problem isn't people and the relationships. It's dealing with your depression and the effects of it. It's different for everyone who suffers with this sort of thing, it's a very personal experience. You're obviously grabbing onto negativity for whatever reason and it's that you need to focus on. No doubt there'll be people to help you with this along the way, be they family, friends or professionals. I'm no expert on these matters but I can give you a small bit of advice. Try things. It'll be hard, no doubt, but if those who know you best and care for you suggest something, just give it a try. If there's a small chance it can help you cope with whatever it is that's holding you down at that given moment (because these things are fluid) then give it a shot. You never know, it might make things easier on you.
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Posted 9/26/16
So you mean to tell me. These friends you've made promises with are the only people you have ever had enter your life? No one else has ever come into your life? Cause the way your talking about this subject. You're only talking about 1 piece of the puzzle. When there is a whole picture to grasp. That 1 piece is only a fraction of what it actually is. Yes, without that piece, you do not have the picture. But it would be wrong to say that it's the only piece that matters. Which again, in reality. Not JSUT your friends matter. Your job, people you meet/build bonds with at work. People you look up to for being able to mentor you in the right direction. This isn't a "mindset". It's just a way of life.
Posted 9/26/16
Eventually all bonds end.

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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

Spireite wrote:


Ryulightorb

Oh yeah i don't know they could leave me i would be happy but when they leave i would become depressed and hate life and close myself off.

I like the moments but i know if i do lose my friend in the future i will sink into despair.

But its highly likely i will have other friends to cheer me up in the case so life goes on it may be sad and depressing to the point i get suicidal when i lose someone i hold dearly but that doesn't mean i can't enjoy being with them now and deal with the negative future when it happens and get past it


Your problem isn't people and the relationships. It's dealing with your depression and the effects of it. It's different for everyone who suffers with this sort of thing, it's a very personal experience. You're obviously grabbing onto negativity for whatever reason and it's that you need to focus on. No doubt there'll be people to help you with this along the way, be they family, friends or professionals. I'm no expert on these matters but I can give you a small bit of advice. Try things. It'll be hard, no doubt, but if those who know you best and care for you suggest something, just give it a try. If there's a small chance it can help you cope with whatever it is that's holding you down at that given moment (because these things are fluid) then give it a shot. You never know, it might make things easier on you.


Your right thanks
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

RhYS331 wrote:

So you mean to tell me. These friends you've made promises with are the only people you have ever had enter your life? No one else has ever come into your life? Cause the way your talking about this subject. You're only talking about 1 piece of the puzzle. When there is a whole picture to grasp. That 1 piece is only a fraction of what it actually is. Yes, without that piece, you do not have the picture. But it would be wrong to say that it's the only piece that matters. Which again, in reality. Not JSUT your friends matter. Your job, people you meet/build bonds with at work. People you look up to for being able to mentor you in the right direction. This isn't a "mindset". It's just a way of life.



I have had many people come into my life but only a select many that i get attached to and those people are those who like me don't want to have friends that leave.

Its a two way job if i don't want friends to leave i and them have to both work together to stay friends most people don't work that hard and just move on (understandably) but i know that some people try to stay the best they can.

I believe those friendships can outlast time if nurtured and cared for by both sides.
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8500 / F / Apollo...
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Posted 9/26/16
I agree with the statement "people come and go in your life". Because they do. People die, move away or create rifts. Anyone lucky enough to find someone they are truly attached to for life is just that: lucky.

It's better to move on with your life if someone leaves yours, rather than to drag yourself in perpetual misery for a reason or two that the other person wouldn't even give a second thought about.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

1stladyent wrote:

I agree with the statement "people come and go in your life". Because they do. People die, move away or create rifts. Anyone lucky enough to find someone they are truly attached to for life is just that: lucky.

It's better to move on with your life if someone leaves yours, rather than to drag yourself in perpetual misery for a reason or two that the other person wouldn't even give a second thought about.


So you don't live for friendships that last till death?

I find that to be interesting most people seem to not...that sounds like perpetual misery to me to go from one person to the next o.o you don't find it depressing?

Honestly i am curious as i can't understand that...lucky for me though im lucky and friendship is a two sided effort i have friends who are willing to put the effort in to stay.
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22 / M / Louisiana
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Posted 9/26/16
I've lost my best friends throughout the years, so many times. I had a guy in highschool who I talked to everyday, thought I could tell him my deepest secrets. One day we just stopped talking completely. Happened to me many times with people I considered my best friends.

I only have one friend now, but we've been friends through a lot. I do wish things were different with my other friends though.
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M / Kansas
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Posted 9/26/16
Where is BlackButler how long did that last? it's a legit question?
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/26/16

RealWorld wrote:

Where is BlackButler how long did that last? it's a legit question?


Well that's a good question after blocking me out of nowhere and disappearing she did the same to another guy so I couldn't care and yes it is because I disagree with the mindset myself
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