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Post Reply Whats the worst joke you have ever made?
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 9/28/16
I said this to my mother earlier it came off the top of my head


"They say children learn better with a positive influence....thats why we electrocuted them."
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The 2D World
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Posted 9/28/16 , edited 9/28/16
I've made a looooot of terrible jokes in my time. First one that comes to mind is this
"Two Scientists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H20" The second says "I'd like some H20 too." The second one dies."
I REGRET NOTHING.
Posted 9/28/16
Probably morbid ones.
I made this joke when I was 7 or 8, my mom was asking the travel agent, why the flight ticket was so cheap, and I made a remark, Maybe because their plane goes down often.
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Posted 9/28/16
I am not sure faith can move mountains, but we sure know what it can do to skyscrapers.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.

What's the difference between a Jew and pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

And a few hundred more of these.

Posted 9/28/16
What's brown and sticky?

A stick
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69 / M / Limbo
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Posted 9/28/16
The racist jokes one says in grade school, those are retarded.
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Posted 9/28/16 , edited 9/28/16

Dark_Alma wrote:



And to contine DRO1's sentiments:
The "Dark" jokes to tell the world "Oo, I'm EDGY!" will seem even more retarded once one either gets past the Magic 24 (so, 23, huh? ), gets out of rehab, or otherwise knocks off the paranoid/atheist chip they have on their shoulder at the entire world in general.
The world isn't full of blue-haired little red-state ladies you see on the TV news, it's also full of fully-formed working adults who might pat you on your messy little angry-Millennial head, give you a pacifier (now in new Starbucks Pumpkin Latte flavor), scrape you off and move on.

I think the Millennial confusion in the thread so far is a basic first developing understanding of what is commonly meant by "Worst" joke--Not "Most horrifyingly dark and forbidden by the repressed societal norms of the previous generation's Status Quo", but "Joke that will make everyone immediately crash to the floor with a groan like in the anime shows". And the field there is rich to choose from.
Case in point: Not the worst joke I ever wrote in one of my books, but certainly in the top three, had two people sculpting in art class, and one, with a slightly higher ego, was making a classical Greek statue of herself.
The other one asks "....A statue?? "
"Don't be silly. Of course it's me."
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20 / M / Sweden
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Posted 9/28/16
My best jokes don't work in english, or rather they wouldn't be funny in english lol
Posted 9/28/16 , edited 9/28/16
So, I'm at the grocery store buying a pack of beer when I see this guy crawling on his knees between the isles. I can hear from his cursing that he's Swedish, and since he seems harmless enough, like Swedes do, I just ask him "Are you looking for something?" thinking maybe I could be of some help to him. He stops, looks up at me, and sighs "low prices."

Edited: Oh, wait. You mean as in morally type worst. Nah, I've got nothing. You would have to ask my big sister. She has plenty of those, about black people in particular. I remember one time we were taking her dog for a walk, and it was pulling ahead to smell this black guy. Dogs just want to smell everyone, you know. They don't care about the color of your skin. And you have to know, that the dog had been annoying her for a while by pulling the chain, pissing, shitting, and sniffing everything. She yelled out loud to the dog, as the dog approached the black guy, and she pulled his chain "OMFG, do you have to sniff everything that looks like a piece of shit?!!" I cracked, and laughed so hard, because she just don't give a fuck, and I tell you what, if he got mad with us, I would only have to intervene because she would've kicked his ass.
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Posted 9/28/16

Ejanss wrote:


Dark_Alma wrote:



And to contine DRO1's sentiments:
The "Dark" jokes to tell the world "Oo, I'm EDGY!" will seem even more retarded once one either gets past the Magic 24 (so, 23, huh? ), gets out of rehab, or otherwise knocks off the paranoid/atheist chip they have on their shoulder at the entire world in general.
The world isn't full of blue-haired little red-state ladies you see on the TV news, it's also full of fully-formed working adults who might pat you on your messy little angry-Millennial head, give you a pacifier (now in new Starbucks Pumpkin Latte flavor), scrape you off and move on.

I think the Millennial confusion in the thread so far is a basic first developing understanding of what is commonly meant by "Worst" joke--Not "Most horrifyingly dark and forbidden by the repressed societal norms of the previous generation's Status Quo", but "Joke that will make everyone immediately crash to the floor with a groan like in the anime shows". And the field there is rich to choose from.
Case in point: Not the worst joke I ever wrote in one of my books, but certainly in the top three, had two people sculpting in art class, and one, with a slightly higher ego, was making a classical Greek statue of herself.
The other one asks "....A statue?? "
"Don't be silly. Of course it's me."


Dark humor also depends on the culture in which everyone was raised. My culture, I promise you, is much different than yours. Heavily military, traveled the world, rich, etc.

If you are going worst as in just a bad joke... Then I can easily say one too.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. The stereotypical anti-joke. Literally the worst one out there.

The issue with what you said... Worst joke can be taken many ways. Anti-fun jokes, dark jokes, racist jokes, annoying jokes, science puns, etc. Also, implying that only young people like dark humor, heh. Don't travel abroad. Some countries love their dark humor at all ages (though they call it Black Humor). I will assume like you assumed, that you don't travel much.

I would guess you are an American who has only been in their state, or been to a few. On top of that they have never lived outside the USA or studied other cultures. Is my internet armchair psychology right? I tried to be like you, all mighty aged one!
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Posted 9/28/16 , edited 9/28/16

Dark_Alma wrote:


Ejanss wrote:

I think the Millennial confusion in the thread so far is a basic first developing understanding of what is commonly meant by "Worst" joke--Not "Most horrifyingly dark and forbidden by the repressed societal norms of the previous generation's Status Quo", but "Joke that will make everyone immediately crash to the floor with a groan like in the anime shows". And the field there is rich to choose from.
Case in point: Not the worst joke I ever wrote in one of my books, but certainly in the top three, had two people sculpting in art class, and one, with a slightly higher ego, was making a classical Greek statue of herself.
The other one asks "....A statue?? "
"Don't be silly. Of course it's me."


Dark humor also depends on the culture in which everyone was raised. My culture, I promise you, is much different than yours. Heavily military, traveled the world, rich, etc.
I would guess you are an American who has only been in their state, or been to a few. On top of that they have never lived outside the USA or studied other cultures. Is my internet armchair psychology right? I tried to be like you, all mighty aged one!


So, foreign country, I'm guessing? Maybe a nice European one with lots of stagnated traditions, causing their youngsters to make big artistic showoffs of how Angry, Iconoclastic and Avant-Garde they are, in frustrated lieu of any actual social change, and pretty much making absolute barking-Chihuahua fools of themselves to the other more laid-back and experienced countries?
Am I far off? Or just "Hey, I was military, I've seen DARK!"?

(Hey, at least the Swedish poster admitted his jokes probably wouldn't go over.)
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Posted 9/28/16

TheOmegaForce70941 wrote:

My best jokes don't work in english, or rather they wouldn't be funny in english lol


Yea, there are some jokes like that I know in German. They take a lot of wordplay and wordsmithing to get it to work. At least I don't have to do that when I am talking to my German friends.

Actually quite funny. We hold a conversation in both languages. Just jumping between the two. Really kind of fun!
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Posted 9/28/16 , edited 9/28/16

Ejanss wrote:


Dark_Alma wrote:


Dark humor also depends on the culture in which everyone was raised. My culture, I promise you, is much different than yours. Heavily military, traveled the world, rich, etc.
I would guess you are an American who has only been in their state, or been to a few. On top of that they have never lived outside the USA or studied other cultures. Is my internet armchair psychology right? I tried to be like you, all mighty aged one!


So, foreign country, I'm guessing? Maybe a nice European one with lots of stagnated traditions, causing their youngsters to make big artistic showoffs of how Angry, Iconoclastic and Avant-Garde they are, in frustrated lieu of any actual social change, and pretty much making absolute barking-Chihuahua fools of themselves to the other more laid-back and experienced countries?
Am I far off? Or just "Hey, I was military, I've seen DARK!"?

(Hey, at least the Swedish poster admitted his jokes probably wouldn't go over.)


Woo, going in for the attack! How mature of you! Tell me how you really feel!

Sometimes I wonder why the USA is the ass of jokes. You reminded me why! Thanks!

Keep arguing with me. Show me how a true adult acts like please =)
Posted 9/28/16
It's hard since every time I make one it breaks my personal record.
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20 / M / Sweden
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Posted 9/28/16

Dark_Alma wrote:


TheOmegaForce70941 wrote:

My best jokes don't work in english, or rather they wouldn't be funny in english lol


Yea, there are some jokes like that I know in German. They take a lot of wordplay and wordsmithing to get it to work. At least I don't have to do that when I am talking to my German friends.

Actually quite funny. We hold a conversation in both languages. Just jumping between the two. Really kind of fun!


Same over here, or rather it depsnds on who I'm with. Some of my friends pretty much only speak swedish while others mix and match.

Either way my jokes are mostly a combo between to swedish and english. And if you don't speak both then it'll probably be really hard to make it work in just english or swedish as it's somewhat of a combo between the two
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