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Post Reply High divorce rates
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 10/17/16 , edited 10/17/16
So another friend of mine's wife just filed for divorce today and they have been married less than 2 years and they have a young daughter together. Since he is not the first person I know already divorced before 30, it got me thinking:

Will you let dismal marriage success rates affect your future choices regarding marriage?

According to the Enrichment Journal:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73% .

For those with assets prior to marriage you risk losing 1/2 of what you have,

Even worse if you are going to be stuck sharing custody, and if your male you're probably only going to get every weekend or every other weekend at best.

Another one of my friends sees his daughter once every few years due to it being an international divorce.

Considering I'm not even 30 yet I won't let this affect my decision making yet, but down the road when I have some hard assets to my name (home, retirement accounts, etc.) it might change my viewpoint on this issue.

What do you think? Leave your comments below.
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Posted 10/17/16 , edited 10/18/16
This is what a pre-nup is for. Seriously though it's cause people have fuck all emotional awareness and mistake lust for love and or can't actually tell if love is what the other person is feeling.

Also people these days are fucking quitters, the first sign of hardship and they run like the emo cunts they are. People can't work out problems and their lives suffer for it.
Posted 10/17/16

No, because those aren't my choices. Marriage scares me already, I don't think seeing the rates make me feel any different about marriage.
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Posted 10/17/16
Honestly, I don't see what the problem with high divorce rates is. Sure, it sucks that a relationship you sunk so much time into didn't work out, but it happens to loads of people. They either change, or they realise they weren't the person the other one thought they were. The countries with the lowest divorce rates are largely oppressive authoritarian nations where divorce is not allowed, and I am very happy being in a country that is not at all like that, even if it means a marriage I might eventually have will be statistically likely to end in divorce. So yeah, nothing wrong with a high divorce rate, it just shows that people don't need to get it right the first time, and that's ok.
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Posted 10/17/16
i agree people are quitters and aren't willing to work hard. marriage is tough, that's a fact.

however, if you're fine with getting a divorce whenever things get hard... just... don't get married people just live together nowadays anyway so do that instead...
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Posted 10/17/16 , edited 10/17/16

octorockandroll wrote:

Honestly, I don't see what the problem with high divorce rates is. Sure, it sucks that a relationship you sunk so much time into didn't work out, but it happens to loads of people. They either change, or they realise they weren't the person the other one thought they were. The countries with the lowest divorce rates are largely oppressive authoritarian nations where divorce is not allowed, and I am very happy being in a country that is not at all like that, even if it means a marriage I might eventually have will be statistically likely to end in divorce. So yeah, nothing wrong with a high divorce rate, it just shows that people don't need to get it right the first time, and that's ok.


True, however things can get quite messy once you have kids. It is one thing if you get divorced once and remarried again, but I know of people on marriage #3 and #4 and it can be real hard and confusing on the kids when you are shuttled between different houses all the time and have step siblings different from your half siblings under the same roof from a chain or 3 or 4 marriages per parent.

For me after I get married and have kids the first time, other than being widowed I'm cohabitating next time around. Just seems too hard to put any future children I might have through such a situation.
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Posted 10/17/16 , edited 10/17/16
Just my POV of course, but I think people just are in love with the idea of being in love. From what I've observed with people around me is they 'want' to be 'married' but don't want to give up the single life style and put in the actual work that comes with marriage. You can't do that when you get married because it's about you 'both' not just him/her. Just a guess, but tv probably has something to do with this too. We constantly see the guy getting the girl and marital problems being easily worked out within 22/44 minutes (depending on the show).

And let's face it, human beings are lazy. And with the increase of technology usage, society is become more and more lazy. We all want the 'easy route' when there's no such thing in real life. Plus, people want it to instantly happen. Everyone's got the bizarre idea that there's someone out there for 'everyone' when there's not. People should just remain single until they're willing to actually put in the work it takes to be in a marriage.

I'm single and have no problem with that at all. IF I do end up married then I plan on taking it seriously. And marriage with come in its own time. I'm not going to force it like someone else I know who did and is now divorced and has lived with three/four guys since then.
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Posted 10/17/16 , edited 10/17/16
Isn't a good lover someone who is easy to love??

Goddammit
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21 / F / Your Body
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Posted 10/17/16
I don't feel much different about it with or without the divorce statistics in mind, to be honest. I wish the percentages would lower a bit since divorce impacts the kids, not just the parents, but I don't foresee that happening

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Posted 10/17/16

Ranwolf wrote:

This is what a pre-nup is for. Seriously though it's cause people have fuck all emotional awareness and mistake lust for love and or can't actually tell if love is what the other person is feeling.

Also people these days are fucking quitters, the first sign of hardship and they run like the emo cunts they are. People can't work out problems and their lives suffer for it.


nicely said
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19 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 10/17/16

kevz_210 wrote:


octorockandroll wrote:

Honestly, I don't see what the problem with high divorce rates is. Sure, it sucks that a relationship you sunk so much time into didn't work out, but it happens to loads of people. They either change, or they realise they weren't the person the other one thought they were. The countries with the lowest divorce rates are largely oppressive authoritarian nations where divorce is not allowed, and I am very happy being in a country that is not at all like that, even if it means a marriage I might eventually have will be statistically likely to end in divorce. So yeah, nothing wrong with a high divorce rate, it just shows that people don't need to get it right the first time, and that's ok.


True, however things can get quite messy once you have kids. It is one thing if you get divorced once and remarried again, but I know of people on marriage #3 and #4 and it can be real hard and confusing on the kids when you are shuttled between different houses all the time and have step siblings different from your half siblings under the same roof from a chain or 3 or 4 marriages per parent.

For me after I get married and have kids the first time, other than being widowed I'm cohabitating next time around. Just seems too hard to put any future children I might have through such a situation.

I absolutely agree that the divorce system is very flawed, however that's something that makes me more worried about the law than the rates.

If you don't want to get married because of the possibility of divorce then thats fine. Even if you love someone to death you can still be with them and not be married. I know an older couple who have been together for decades and raised kids all while never having been married. To this day the only issue that has brought them is not getting a tax break. However, that's not an issue in Canada because after two years of living together with your significant other you are considered commonlaws, and you get the benefits of being married without the other stuff.
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Posted 10/17/16
Marriage is the least of my problems and there are alternatives to marriage, like long-distance relationships and living with a partner.
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Posted 10/17/16
If you look to failures as role models then... well...
Posted 10/17/16

Ranwolf wrote:

This is what a pre-nup is for.

Also people these days are fucking quitters, the first sign of hardship and they run like the emo cunts they are. People can't work out problems and their lives suffer for it.


+1
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 10/17/16

stars201 wrote:


Ranwolf wrote:

This is what a pre-nup is for.

Also people these days are fucking quitters, the first sign of hardship and they run like the emo cunts they are. People can't work out problems and their lives suffer for it.


+1



SirBacon12 wrote:



nicely said


Hmm two people who agree with me. I should buy a lottery ticket while my luck holds.
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