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Post Reply How Would you feel if your SoulMates Gender was wrong?
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Posted 10/23/16

HolyDrumstick wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:



"
And, people can say sex is not important. To some it is not important, and to others it is extremely important. However, the importance of sex overall cannot be dismissed. If you have a non-sexual relationship with a person, it's more of a close friendship than romantic love.
"

Highly subjective I would say it's still romantic love
Also I used to be straight the idea of doing it with a dude revolted me I never cared for societies opinions on it or how I would be seen if I was bi as I'm Autistic however I was straight.

I am bisexual now I find the idea of being with a guy sexually more and more appealing day by day.

Sexuality can be fluid last time I checked however I'm going to go with my personal basis as I didn't come out of the closet as bi or dislike it due to social pressure I just never was attracted to men in the past and I am now.

According to you I'm an enigma or a liar so...



Nope, you are neither.

What you are is a man who had bisexual leanings and the social indoctrination that a dude with a dude was revolting. I, however, seriously contemplated relations with a man in my early 20s. Let's just say I tested some theories. Men do not do it for me.

Your situation is more like my wife with food. I just had to almost hold her down (hyperbole) to get her to try gouda. After she tried it, she was okay with it. Was her idea that it was disgusting due to her dislike of gouda? No. It comes from being conditioned that trying unusual things usually leads to something disgusting. Conditioning. So, you were conditioned to feel revolted, and you did. You broke from that. Congratulations.

As far as being okay with no sex. I literally stated some didn't find it important, others did. Those who don't are the vast minority among men, and somewhat a minority among women. Though, studies show that women are more likely to accept a relationship with unsatisfying sex, those who are not satisfied are far more likely to cheat.

My point is, I acknowledged these people exist, but almost as a rule, most people require a sexual relationship with our partners, at least in monogamous relationships, because humans have sexual urges.

Basically, no. Don't shove your stupid progressive BS down my throat. It is one thing to understand that you are different. It is entirely something else to pretend that everyone else is the same as you, but choose to be otherwise. What you are doing is the very same thing Hetero bigots did to homosexuals for years. And quite frankly, this level of hypocrisy pissed me off.



Sexuality is fluid it's not progressive BS but think what you like.

I didn't choose to be BI but I wasn't Bi before.

There is no pretending not everyone is the same some people are more sexually fluid then others.

Sexual fluidity does exist in people.

I never had bisexual leanings I wasn't conditioned to find it revolting either you are assuming.

If you are incapable of grasping that some humans sexualities are not fully set in stone and are more fluid then that's fine with me but I used to be straight now I'm bisexual
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Posted 10/23/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Sexuality is fluid it's not progressive BS but think what you like.

I didn't choose to be BI but I wasn't Bi before.

There is no pretending not everyone is the same some people are more sexually fluid then others.

Sexual fluidity does exist in people.

I never had bisexual leanings I wasn't conditioned to find it revolting either you are assuming.

If you are incapable of grasping that some humans sexualities are not fully set in stone and are more fluid then that's fine with me but I used to be straight now I'm bisexual :P


You can at least admit that the degree to which people are 'fluid' with their sexuality is dependent on the individual. Some are much more rigid than others.

I believe the compromise between your positions is that someone's sexuality can change, but the degree to which someone can change is rigid.

Of course, that's just an idea.

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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


Sexuality is fluid it's not progressive BS but think what you like.

I didn't choose to be BI but I wasn't Bi before.

There is no pretending not everyone is the same some people are more sexually fluid then others.

Sexual fluidity does exist in people.

I never had bisexual leanings I wasn't conditioned to find it revolting either you are assuming.

If you are incapable of grasping that some humans sexualities are not fully set in stone and are more fluid then that's fine with me but I used to be straight now I'm bisexual :P


Okay, I can believe that. So SOME people are sexually fluid.

Let's propose this is actually true. And, fuck, it probably is.

That would still mean the majority of people are NOT sexually fluid and that this sexual fluidity probably maintains a certain level throughout puberty and post-adolescent maturity, until that maturity stops. At which point, that sexual fluidity would decrease over time. OR, it decreases UNTIL maturity. Or a combination of both. In ANY case, the older you are, the less likely sexual fluidity will allow one to change sexual preference.

That still doesn't mean that the suggestion that all people are this way is not progressive bullshit. Because it very much is. And, believing that people are like this completely undermines the logic homosexuals use to say that the Bible's outline of homosexuality as a sin is bigotry. Because IF it is so fluid, you can just choose to mate with the opposite sex. Basically, you went from, "We're born this way." to "Okay, everyone's born this way. Everyone's the same as us. So you have no excuse for being heterosexual, unless you are a bigot."

(Of course, I have my own perspective on the sin aspect, if you care to understand.)

Wait what? How the fuck does having a certain sexual preference make you a bigot? I guess the same way being born white makes you a racist.

Fucking ironic. Hypocrisy at its best. Stupid, progressive bullshit. I'm going to be glad when the world stops buying into it, get's tired of this shit, and tells these people to shut the fuck up, already, because life isn't fair.

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Posted 10/23/16

I believe the compromise between your positions is that someone's sexuality can change, but the degree to which someone can change is rigid.


I think it's all subjective to the person in question. Some of us stay the same forever, some of us change over night, some of us were never really sure. I think to assume we can automatically change ours ourselves or we can change others is bs, nothing we do has ever been able to change anyone's sexuality. Similarly to taste buds, in a way, they can change over time and you can, in some mild cases, 'acquire a taste' for something you previously didn't like, but it's not like if I eat brusselsprouts every single day I'm eventually going to start liking them.
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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

ClothStatue wrote:

I think it's all subjective to the person in question. Some of us stay the same forever, some of us change over night, some of us were never really sure. I think to assume we can automatically change ours ourselves or we can change others is bs, nothing we do has ever been able to change anyone's sexuality. Similarly to taste buds, in a way, they can change over time and you can, in some mild cases, 'acquire a taste' for something you previously didn't like, but it's not like if I eat brusselsprouts every single day I'm eventually going to start liking them.


The assumption that one can change can be just as dangerous as the assumption that one cannot.



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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

The assumption that one can change can be just as dangerous as the assumption that one cannot.


I think it's only dangerous if people think they can be an agent in that change, or that they should be. Many LGBT+ children and adults have been and are killed because of such people and continue to try to, as we speak, in conversion camps.

It's important to ask people if they had a button that could turn everyone straight, would they?That's really heart of the animosity that causes homophobia and transphobia in the first place. Like HolyDrumstick said, it's not okay to try and make everyone the same as you, diversity is good, and so it's wrong to try and fix people to fit into your molds.
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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

ClothStatue wrote:


The assumption that one can change can be just as dangerous as the assumption that one cannot.


I think it's only dangerous if people think they can be an agent in that change, or that they should be. Many LGBT+ children and adults have been and are killed because of such people and continue to try to, as we speak, in conversion camps.

It's important to ask people if they had a button that could turn everyone straight, would they?That's really heart of the animosity that causes homophobia and transphobia in the first place. Like HolyDrumstick said, it's not okay to try and make everyone the same as you, diversity is good, and so it's wrong to try and fix people to fit into your molds.


First, let me agree that the point here is: What we're seeing from the stupid among progressives is a shift from, "It's okay to be different." to "Everyone should be the same as us."

So, the whole point here is to not be a hypocritical asshole.

Now, I hope that you don't mean conversion camps in the US, because that's complete nonsense. I mean, there are some church related camps in which people can volunteer to attend.... if they can't accept that they are gay or whatever. But, people are not killing LGBT people in some conversion camp situation. Even if deaths HAVE occurred, it is by no means at a rate that suggests any form of trend.

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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

Now, I hope that you don't mean conversion camps in the US, because that's complete nonsense. I mean, there are some church related camps in which people can volunteer to attend.... if they can't accept that they are gay or whatever. But, people are not killing LGBT people in some conversion camp situation. Even if deaths HAVE occurred, it is by no means at a rate that suggests any form of trend.


I mean to say that the conversion camps prompt a disturbingly high percentage of suicide among the people undertaking them, in many many cases are children brought against their will by their parents. I don't see how putting people through such emotionally traumatizing things to such a point to where they kill themselves cannot be considered responsible for their deaths.

It should be noted that I do not believe the people who operate these camps are doing so insidiously. I fully believe they think what they are doing is helping. But they have never been considered an even remotely effective source of changing anyone's orientation and have resulted in heightening suicides. It varies in harshness since these enterprises are not carried out by a single overarching organization, but none are ever successful and doing much more than pushing people to think there is something wrong with them.
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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

ClothStatue wrote:



I think the op means your partner would be a transgender man. The rest of his body would probably be indiscernible from a cisgender man anyway even if you saw him naked outside of his genitalia, sex he'd probably just like to use a strap-on so you might be over thinking it a little. Still, if you want the real thing and or your husband's biological children then I guess I can see where you're coming from.

-I've had the privilege of being friends with a lot of trans men, they look like any other dude.


Your second-to-last sentence is pretty much my stance, particularly since I cringe at the thought of losing my virginity to a strap-on or any other sex toy. Short-term dating without sex doesn't phase me in regard to dating a transgender man or woman. Once sex comes into play, though, it becomes an significant issue, especially with anything long-term.
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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16
Funnily enough, I've been in this situation and I'm still with that person today. Thought that they were female, turns out they were male but pre-op. I still love them a hell of a lot, we've been through a lot together and I wouldn't give that up. I think its been 2 years and 7 months?
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Posted 10/23/16

Ryulightorb wrote:



Sex isn't that important in a long term relationship to some people.

I'll happily go my life without sex and be with a partner.

Sex is an addition not a necessity


That's good news for anyone who doesn't particularly value sex, but not for me or anyone else who considers it more important. Sex, for me, defines the difference between being friends and being lovers, and marks a major milestone in intimacy.
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Posted 10/23/16 , edited 10/23/16

ClothStatue wrote:
It should be noted that I do not believe the people who operate these camps are doing so insidiously. I fully believe they think what they are doing is helping. But they have never been considered an even remotely effective source of changing anyone's orientation and have resulted in heightening suicides. It varies in harshness since these enterprises are not carried out by a single overarching organization, but none are ever successful and doing much more than pushing people to think there is something wrong with them.


Ah I see. Then yes, "Don't be an asshole," pretty much covers this problem, too.

The unfortunate part is that people are using the banner of this religion or that belief to promote bigotry. It sets up a system where we judge entire groups without understanding that the problem is actually just the assholes within them.

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Posted 10/23/16

aeb0717 wrote:
and marks a major milestone in intimacy.


Kudos on being a virgin. I cannot fathom the amount of willpower and judgment you possess.

As someone who had a number of casual sexual relationships, or short term dating with sex, prior to meeting my wife.... there's only one woman I don't wish I could undo. I don't beat myself up about it, and it isn't a major bother....

... but, at the end of the day, I do have regrets.

So, keep on keeping on. That's pretty awesome.
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Posted 10/23/16

catgutts wrote:

Funnily enough, I've been in this situation and I'm still with that person today. Thought that they were female, turns out they were male but pre-op. I still love them a hell of a lot, we've been through a lot together and I wouldn't give that up. I think its been 2 years and 7 months?


Still a slightly different situation. If you weren't good with male parts, and they had no intention on changing those parts, it WOULD have been an issue.

Hope everything works out.
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Posted 10/23/16

Funnily enough, I've been in this situation and I'm still with that person today. Thought that they were female, turns out they were male but pre-op. I still love them a hell of a lot, we've been through a lot together and I wouldn't give that up. I think its been 2 years and 7 months?


That's so sweet I'm so happy for you guys! I'm glad it's worked out for you. <3
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