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Post Reply Does anyone know of any therapy or programs that can change ones personality
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Posted 10/19/16
In a sense you need to break yourself- your ego- down and examine it. You're changeable- you never really stay the same all of your life- the 18 year old me no longer exists, I'm older and have a very different outlook on life now.

The best practical suggestion I can offer is to read some books on Buddhism (Yes- I am a Buddhist and I'm not out to 'convert' anyone- we're not allowed to do that and personally I wouldn't anyway) but a basic lay person's book on Buddhism might help you to put your life and your ego or personality into perspective.

You're probably already a nice person- you obviously are aware you could be 'better' so you're already on the right path!

Just be compassionate, kind and altruistic, always: from there you can't fail to become happier x.
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Posted 10/19/16 , edited 10/25/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Curious as alot of people have left me due to my personality and i really want to change it and have been.

So i want to see if there is any type of therapy or program to change ones personality and who they are.


The way I understand it is that while trauma can cause personality changes, and personalities can change some over time with experience normally, core personality is generally not all that changeable.

But I wonder if it's really your personality that's causing the problem, or if it's more some behaviors that might be easier to change. Are there other behaviors that are still consistent with your core personality that would be more conducive to the kind of friendships you want to have? Maybe you can work on developing those, and shedding the more problematic ones.

In terms of therapy I think it might be worth looking into cognitive behavior therapy. It's a practical approach that helps you think about how you behave, what you are thinking when you behave certain ways, and helps you develop different perspectives that can help you make changes in yourself and how you approach some things.

I'm going to say something that may surprise some people on these forums. I have an anger-management problem. It's mostly not a problem these days--I've mellowed over time and mostly have learned how to not let my anger get out of control when something particularly sets it off. But for a long time when I was younger, although I knew I got angry and expressed it noticeably, I pretty much thought it was okay, that I was just communicating meaningful emotion, and that other people should just learn to deal with it and were just being judgmental and controlling when they didn't. However, after a couple of heart to hearts with a couple of close friends (who were on the verge of becoming not such close friends) I got to understand that in reality I scared people.

That was an eye-opener for me, because scaring others was not at all what I intended, and that did lead me to think about it differently and be more open to changing. I've also, a few times in my life, benefited from professional counseling (not always specifically about that anger issue); I think having conversations with professional therapists can really help one untangle things, sort out what's really important, and set personal goals and work toward them.

So yeah, if you have access to some kind of counseling services, I would suggest giving it a try.
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Posted 10/25/16
Use a journal. Track your thoughts and behaviors. Bring it to your counselor when you get the opportunity.
Posted 10/26/16 , edited 10/26/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Curious as alot of people have left me due to my personality and i really want to change it and have been.

So i want to see if there is any type of therapy or program to change ones personality and who they are.


Specifics? I agree about tearing the ego down. I'm not buddhist, but the meditative aspects convey deep benefits. That's how one....gets to meet one's own Kurama, as it were...
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Posted 10/26/16
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