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Post Reply Introverts - Parties, how do you handle them?
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Posted 10/22/16
I was invited to a party ... and I went. Yes, a real party, not the birthday cake and balloons kind, but an adult party. Ugh.

The food was delicious, there were waiters serving drinks and dainty appetizers but I wasn't able to enjoy any of it. It felt awkward, weird, and I had to talk to people I barely know.

I literally walked up to my boss, talked about getting food and just walked away in mid conversation, the cringe was real:

Co worker: you should say hi to your boss
Me: he looks like he is busy talking to someone
Co worker: yeah but you should really say hi to your boss
Me: walks up and shakes boss man's hand
Boss: hey, you should really get a drink
Me: yeah I'm trying to get some food, it's so hard to find
Boss: ...
Me: ..... /walks away (oh god)

UGHHHh yyyyyyy did I do that???


Parties.

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Posted 10/22/16 , edited 10/22/16
Other than not go? Drag a friend along that also hates parties, sit at a table the whole time eating food and talking amongst our selves.

And if that's not an option, just sit on my own really awkwardly, but I'd rather being awkward on my own than having to talk to strangers I don't like.

Really hate parties.
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30 / M / Azeroth
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Posted 10/22/16
Sorry, but my "Social Bar" has been deep in the red for like, ever now. Cannot really provide anything useful, other then don't let it freak you out. Worrying about it just causes more problems...
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 10/22/16
My cousin is having a Halloween party tonight but I'm not going.
All they do is get drunk and throw up all over the place.
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24 / M / Abyss
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Posted 10/22/16
Invite a friend and use them as a crutch to survive.

Find a group that you can latch onto and listen to them talk while drinking. Interject every 7.5 minutes.

Find a nice dark corner and eat/drink alone like a true introvert.

Get hammered (my personal favorite, fucks given = 0 when drunk).

Politely decline the party.

Just a few ways I deal with parties.
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28 / M / Louisville, KY
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Posted 10/22/16
Introverts just don't handle parties or social events well. We don't thrive in those types of environments. I leave parties for extroverts because I just feel awkward the whole time and I would rather not.
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23 / M
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Posted 10/22/16 , edited 10/22/16
Well it could have been worse.. you could have gotten drunk, jumped on the table and ripped of your shirt like a party animal
But it sounds like you're boss was the one that made it awkward
I would have grabbed a drink and sat by myself.. I'm a loner anyway
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30 / M
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Posted 10/22/16

FlyinDumpling wrote:

I was invited to a party ... and I went. Yes, a real party, not the birthday cake and balloons kind, but an adult party. Ugh.

The food was delicious, there were waiters serving drinks and dainty appetizers but I wasn't able to enjoy any of it. It felt awkward, weird, and I had to talk to people I barely know.

I literally walked up to my boss, talked about getting food and just walked away in mid conversation, the cringe was real:

Co worker: you should say hi to your boss
Me: he looks like he is busy talking to someone
Co worker: yeah but you should really say hi to your boss
Me: walks up and shakes boss man's hand
Boss: hey, you should really get a drink
Me: yeah I'm trying to get some food, it's so hard to find
Boss: ...
Me: ..... /walks away (oh god)

UGHHHh yyyyyyy did I do that???


Parties.



Your mistake was not going to the party, but betraying who you are by saying hello to your boss. Fuck that. Do what feels right to you. Give him a nod or something, when you get the chance... whatever... something. Or not. Then, mention later, honestly, that you aren't that social, and didn't feel comfortable approaching him at the party.

Me, I'm introvert, have been to a ton of parties, and have enjoyed many of them.

I grab a drink or food and sit down and relax. Stick to myself. I sometimes loosen up after a couple drinks, and sometimes I just sit there having brief conversations with people who stop by wherever I've planted myself. Don't like it? Don't invite me....because that's the only way I can enjoy a party. If I'm out where there's karaoke and dancing, don't even try to force me to do either, because I will not hesitate to tell you to fuck off.
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20 / F / Dirt land
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Posted 10/22/16

HuastecoOtaku wrote:

My cousin is having a Halloween party tonight but I'm not going.
All they do is get drunk and throw up all over the place.


Geez, I wouldn't go to a party like that either.


HolyDrumstick wrote:

Your mistake was not going to the party, but betraying who you are by saying hello to your boss. Fuck that. Do what feels right to you. Give him a nod or something, when you get the chance... whatever... something. Or not. Then, mention later, honestly, that you aren't that social, and didn't feel comfortable approaching him at the party.

Me, I'm introvert, have been to a ton of parties, and have enjoyed many of them.

I grab a drink or food and sit down and relax. Stick to myself. I sometimes loosen up after a couple drinks, and sometimes I just sit there having brief conversations with people who stop by wherever I've planted myself. Don't like it? Don't invite me....because that's the only way I can enjoy a party. If I'm out where there's karaoke and dancing, don't even try to force me to do either, because I will not hesitate to tell you to fuck off.


I absolutely agree, we introverts shouldn't force ourselves to be something we're not, let alone be forced to do something we're not comfortable with.
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13 / F / California
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Posted 10/22/16 , edited 10/23/16
Fuckin' LOL.

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21 / M / Canada
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Posted 10/22/16
As an introvert currently at a party, I'm sitting alone posting on a crunchyroll thread as everyone else plays beer pong and hangs out in their groups while they all get pleasantly drunk.

Being the designated driver is really dull.
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Posted 10/22/16 , edited 10/22/16
I keep reading "parties" as "panties"

orz

on topic, the last time I went to party I just played star fox on the host's nintendo while everybody else chatted.
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30 / M / Azeroth
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Posted 10/22/16

zelking wrote:I absolutely agree, we introverts shouldn't force ourselves to be something we're not, let alone be forced to do something we're not comfortable with.


It is not really about introvert vs extrovert, rather who you are partying with. An anime party with all introverts probably be a dandy time.


Real difference is just matter of organization... Introverts want to know "what's next". Extroverts are "up for whatever happens". The difference in expectations causes social anxiety for the introvert.
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20 / F / Dirt land
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Posted 10/22/16

TheGrandAlliance wrote:


zelking wrote:I absolutely agree, we introverts shouldn't force ourselves to be something we're not, let alone be forced to do something we're not comfortable with.


It is not really about introvert vs extrovert, rather who you are partying with. An anime party with all introverts probably be a dandy time.


Real difference is just matter of organization... Introverts want to know "what's next". Extroverts are "up for whatever happens". The difference in expectations causes social anxiety for the introvert.


I'm a really nice person, and I'm not trying to be rude. But I had no intention of introvert vs. extrovert, I was only stating what I felt. Though I do respect your opinion, and I also agree with what you said.
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Posted 10/22/16
Captain Awkward is a great resource for "how do I do X without fucking it up"--spoilers, every person who's "good with people" learned their tricks, so it's not an impossibility. For me personally though, if there's someone I need/want to talk to at a party or get together, I like to sort of practice at least my opening line in my head, maybe even a subject I'd be willing to talk about for a little bit (did you see that sports game/read that article/see that episode)?

Also, I give myself LOTS of personal down time before and after so I don't feel burnt out during the party. That said, my limit's about two hours, unless I really hit it off with somebody.
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