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Post Reply For anyone that has ever lost a parent...
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 10/30/16
I'm very sorry for your loss. The very fact you cry about him attests to the type of man he must've been. There's a lot of good advice here so far. Some will fit the person you are, some won't. It's up to you to see in the end what makes you feel better depending on your feelings ...

When I was 16 my Dad died, he and Mom were (she still is) my best friends in the world. Due to an unforeseen situation the loss of Dad was both unexpected and avoidable although we never knew it at the time. It was deemed natural causes (at 47 years old) and due to something that happened I blamed myself (I later found out who was really to blame and it was a death of negligence not natural causes) and went off the deep end almost leading to "suicide" by two school punks (one who carried a knife and one who carried a gun). It took me realizing that I shouldn't be just thinking about Dad and losing him but thinking of the fact that I had Mom, friends and family still left that I should spend more time with and appreciate while they're still here. I went to a psychologist to straighten myself out.He was able to see me and my problems and help me figure out how to make things better. He told me to do things I used to enjoy doing with my dad and remember him watching over me while I'm still enjoying them (for me it was watching classic tv and movies, playing videogames, listening to music and reading comics...he was just like me as a kid so it was easy). He told me to not be afraid of my feelings. If I had to cry, cry, if I had to laugh, laugh. Most importantly he told me to live with one thought in my head. He'd want to see me content in my life.

Here it is 32 years later, I still think of him all the time, sometimes I cry but mostly I can smile or laugh. You'll most likely never get over it or forget but you'll begin to remember the good times first and foremost.
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18 / M / fighting a dragon
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Posted 10/30/16
I can't really offer much help as my mom died when I was around 1 so I've never really felt that loss but I'm sorry and hope you just know that life will get better
Gets It.
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32 / M / Raleigh, North Ca...
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Posted 11/5/16
Losing a parent is a complex scenario to deal with, at any age. I lost my mother when I was 12 (shot and murdered) and my father when I was 15 (died in his sleep due to a heart attack). I took my mother's death the hardest and did what almost any teenager in that situation would do: get angry. But anger isn't going to fix things, it's not going to bring them back, nor will it make you feel better in the long-term. Due to my fractured relationship with my father, it didn't impact me too much (I didn't even know he was my father until after my mother had passed away, mind you).

Nothing anyone here says is going to help you directly, not right now. You will have to come to terms with it all on your own. It's going to hurt. There are going to be days that you cry (and that's okay). There's going to be days that you're going to be mad, or feel like you didn't do enough. Eventually, you come to accept what has happened and continue on with your life. There will be a "twinge" for a while. For me, it's no longer something that bothers me - just that I feel like the guy who was never invited to the party (of having parents in adulthood). I never got the experiences of dealing with my mother in college, or my first girlfriend, etc etc... but, when you spend more of your life without than with .. I think it's not as much of an issue after a while.
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32 / Somewhere...
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Posted 11/5/16
I'm so sorry for your loss. While I have never lost a parent, I have watched my Dad whither away from cancer the past two years. My heart goes out to you.
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21 / F / USA
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Posted 11/5/16
I lost my mom when I was around 6.

You just have to deal with it. Keep going for those around you and they will keep going for you and eventually things will get better.
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Posted 11/7/16
Something you may go through is avoiding your house, the places your parent and you went to and possibly not doing the things you used with said parent. I should know, I used to avoid the places so much so that I left home. What I'm saying is give yourself some time. You don't have to force yourself, just be sad, reflective, whatever. Stay away from drugs and bad people. I'm sorry for your lost. I hope things get well for you.
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