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Post Reply What's your experience with female competition?
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23 / M / Abyss
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Posted 10/30/16
I had women attempt to bully me via isolation. The men just physically fought me. Fighting was fine. Isolation sucked.

I also have a sister, so I was in key on all that drama that female cheerleaders had. It is pretty fucking brutal. I would take a fight any day of the week. Was bad enough that because of me my sister had to move schools. I was so hated!
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Posted 10/30/16 , edited 10/30/16

Why do I think this is? Because if a man finds out another man is talking behind his back, it has a much higher chance of leading to a physical confrontation. This increases, as I said, in higher concentrations of men. We reinforce and encourage that nature with each other. That seems like it would result in a lot of fights, but it results in less, usually. Men would much rather know upfront that they have problems with each other. There's tension, but usually, you just avoid them and go about your business. Because for the most part, only bullies really want to have that physical confrontation.


True, but men also aren't really taught to let their feelings out in a not confrontational way. There is some merit to what you say about confrontation but I've never hung out with men that actually beat each other up. I think I grew up with a very different breed of men. I'm friends with some men who are very masculine, and do traditionally manly stuff (I play fighting games with them, it's like, the only thing we can bond over LOL since I'm so girly in my interests, it's was a funny sight in high school when all the boys were saying "no it's my turn to lose to her!" I had to practically curl someone else's fingers over the controller to get them to let me go XD) But those guys were also super gentle at heart but they were always worried, despite the comfort I tried to give, that they hadn't learned how to control their anger. While I knew it was awful that they felt that way and they shouldn't be shamed for wanting to by masculine and liking those things, I wasn't sure how to help besides reassure them that there are ways to keep your anger and other emotions under control.

Of course, I don't think anyone in this country has been taught to unbottle in a way that's constructive. We're kinda bad at that...


Well, I don't like that I'm not allowed to punch women in the face for crossing lines no man would dare cross for that exact reason... but, ya know, life ain't the picture perfect sameness everyone likes to pretend it is.


Idk personally I don't think anyone should punch anyone in the face but that's just me. To each their own ^.^
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Posted 10/30/16

ClothStatue wrote:


Why do I think this is? Because if a man finds out another man is talking behind his back, it has a much higher chance of leading to a physical confrontation. This increases, as I said, in higher concentrations of men. We reinforce and encourage that nature with each other. That seems like it would result in a lot of fights, but it results in less, usually. Men would much rather know upfront that they have problems with each other. There's tension, but usually, you just avoid them and go about your business. Because for the most part, only bullies really want to have that physical confrontation.


True, but men also aren't really taught to let their feelings out in a not confrontational way. There is some merit to what you say about confrontation but I've never hung out with men that actually beat each other up. I think I grew up with a very different breed of men. I'm friends with some men who are very masculine, and do traditionally manly stuff (I play fighting games with them, it's like, the only thing we can bond over LOL since I'm so girly in my interests, it's was a funny sight in high school when all the boys were saying "no it's my turn to lose to her!" I had to practically curl someone else's fingers over the control to get them to let me go XD) But those guys were also super gentle at heart but they were always worried, despite the comfort I tried to give, that they hadn't learned how to control their anger. While I knew it was awful that they felt that way and they shouldn't be shamed for wanting to by masculine and liking those things, I wasn't sure how to help besides reassure them that there are ways to keep your anger and other emotions under control.

Of course, I don't think anyone in this country has been taught to unbottle in a way that's constructive. We're kinda bad at that...


Well, I don't like that I'm not allowed to punch women in the face for crossing lines no man would dare cross for that exact reason... but, ya know, life ain't the picture perfect sameness everyone likes to pretend it is.


Idk personally I don't think anyone should punch anyone in the face but that's just me. To each their own ^.^


See, the idea that men are not taught to voice emotion, and this is the reason for their behavior, outright dismisses physiological reasons men and women are different. I'm sorry, it's false. Men have higher testosterone levels, and THIS results in often higher sex drives and aggression. Women have more estrogen, which leads to being more emotional in other ways.
And, to lend evidence to this, this difference in hormone balance is what results in roid-rage. When a man takes steroids, his testosterone level shoot through the roof. This makes his aggression much harder to control. However, what people don't know is that often time, estrogen levels also rise, naturally, to match the heightened testosterone levels, this is why men sometimes develop breasts when taking steroids. But, often, roid-rage not only comes from that heightened aggression, but a mixture of being more emotional due to the estrogen and the heightened aggression caused by the testosterone.

And none of this actually takes into account how our brains are actually physically different to a degree.

Again, there are always exceptions.

But, you talk about how your male friends worried about their anger, and you acted as if it was somehow due to societal pressure. That's actually really false. Puberty is a really rough time for boys, in regards to anger issues. There are physiological reasons for that. Reasons that most women cannot begin to empathize with. Just as most men are not capable of empathizing with being slightly more emotional.

And, as I said, men will often not have physical confrontation. Only bullies like to fight. I've been in a handful of fights since 16-ish, but it was either to stand up to a bully as a last resort, I felt it was the best way to deal with the situation (Which is super rare, in itself), or because I DID lose my temper. I haven't lost my temper since 2009. Why do I remember that so clearly, and it is so important? Because of what it means for some men to lose their temper. It isn't about just punching someone, for me, it is about being grateful that I got it under control before I accidentally killed someone.

My point to all this is to say that dismissing differences will never solve anything. Acknowledging these differences in no way prevent equality.
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Posted 10/30/16 , edited 10/30/16

ClothStatue wrote:

Well, I don't like that I'm not allowed to punch women in the face for crossing lines no man would dare cross for that exact reason... but, ya know, life ain't the picture perfect sameness everyone likes to pretend it is.


Idk personally I don't think anyone should punch anyone in the face but that's just me. To each their own ^.^


Just last night a woman threatened to "slap the fuck out of" me. Now, if a man told me that, it probably would not result in a fight due to who I am.

However, men will not tell other men that, because those are fighting words. They don't want to fight. Men know not to cross that line.

Women, however, get a free pass. And THAT'S bullshit.

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Posted 10/30/16
My girlfriend has a very strong character, sometimes scary :v
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Posted 10/30/16
In my experience there is typically a sort of unspoken honor system or "bro code," as it were, in male social circles. It can differ from group to group, but there's almost always a system of some sort in place to manage competition - kind of like sports. The game and how you score points may differ, but there are always rules, and repercussions from the group for violating them.

Perhaps as a man I simply can't see them (we are such simple creatures, after all), but female social groups seem to have fewer regulations of that sort in place. Competition between men may result in some bruises (either to your body or, far more often, your ego) but competition between women can seem to inflict much longer-lasting harm.
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Posted 10/30/16

See, the idea that men are not taught to voice emotion, and this is the reason for their behavior, outright dismisses physiological reasons men and women are different. I'm sorry, it's false. Men have higher testosterone levels, and THIS results in often higher sex drives and aggression. Women have more estrogen, which leads to being more emotional in other ways.
And, to lend evidence to this, this difference in hormone balance is what results in roid-rage. When a man takes steroids, his testosterone level shoot through the roof. This makes his aggression much harder to control. However, what people don't know is that often time, estrogen levels also rise, naturally, to match the heightened testosterone levels, this is why men sometimes develop breasts when taking steroids. But, often, roid-rage not only comes from that heightened aggression, but a mixture of being more emotional due to the estrogen and the heightened aggression caused by the testosterone.


Hormones certainly have a big influence but they aren't complete mind controllers. People's personalities are far different, and hormonal levels can dramatically differ between men and between women. Notice that personalities classifications like the MBTI, while certainly not perfect are very substantial and thorough, they do not take gender into account.


And none of this actually takes into account how our brains are actually physically different to a degree.


A common argument but we pretend to know a lot more about the brain than we do. We treat MRI scans as a perfect mechanism and like I said earlier in another comment are prone to misconstrue and practice bad science to reinforce certain ideas about the mind and sex. Remember that most of the MRI scans are more or less looking at parts of the brain and judging by size ratio. What people forget is that the brain is a muscle, the size of different areas dramatically shifts to how much you use them. Female brains function much the same as male one, you can't pick up a brain and say "this is a man" or "this is a woman", there's too much variation between and across your gender.


But, you talk about how your male friends worried about their anger, and you acted as if it was somehow due to societal pressure. That's actually really false. Puberty is a really rough time for boys, in regards to anger issues. There are physiological reasons for that. Reasons that most women cannot begin to empathize with. Just as most men are not capable of empathizing with being slightly more emotional.


Friend, I didn't make any assertion they didn't. I let them just tell me how they felt and what they were feeling and I'm telling you what they told me, and how I tried to help with that. They told me that they felt pressured by society to be overly masculine. To assert that what I'm saying is false is asserting that what other men are saying is false, and that is you dismissing differences in favor of sameness. I'm not saying that men like you do not exist, but I'm just using your own logic against you. I'm not saying these men are women. They are men. But if you say that all men are ____ then you're refusing to listen to other men and boys who feel differently. Yes puberty has effects, yes men have things that I won't ever understand, that's why I'm trying to listen to them, and not just the ones who assert a sameness between men. Puberty sucks for everyone but even in the same gender boys handle it differently from one another, as do women, and they can have varying degrees of similar effects.


And, as I said, men will often not have physical confrontation. Only bullies like to fight. I've been in a handful of fights since 16-ish, but it was either to stand up to a bully as a last resort, I felt it was the best way to deal with the situation (Which is super rare, in itself), or because I DID lose my temper. I haven't lost my temper since 2009. Why do I remember that so clearly, and it is so important? Because of what it means for some men to lose their temper. It isn't about just punching someone, for me, it is about being grateful that I got it under control before I accidentally killed someone.

My point to all this is to say that dismissing differences will never solve anything. Acknowledging these differences in no way prevent equality.


All I'm saying is that you are dismissing differences and asserting sameness between men, against the men I've met who act differently to your sameness, to assert differences and dismiss sameness between men and women.
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Posted 10/30/16 , edited 10/30/16


I was acknowledging an average and the fact that exceptions exist. You are denying reality. I'm sorry, I disagree with you.

Also, I'd like to note that personalities and physiologically influenced behavior of the sexes are two separate things that often overlap and effect each other, but one may not be dismissed in favor of another if one seeks to address the truth.
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Posted 10/30/16 , edited 10/30/16

I was acknowledging an average and the fact that exceptions exist. You are denying reality. I'm sorry, I disagree with you.

Also, I'd like to note that personalities and physiologically influenced behavior of the sexes are two separate things that often overlap and effect each other, but one may not be dismissed in favor of another if one seeks to address the truth.


I'm honestly not sure what you're asserting that I'm denying or what I'm dismissing but okie dokie then.
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Posted 10/30/16
I learnt since early school days in a rough school that it was better to fight with the boys. With most of the boys a punch or two may be thrown eventually apologies follow and it's forgotten. A lot of the girls however took time to plan their attack after they got upset or angry or some pre-empted conflict. Their plans will be harmful since they planned to maim. In other environments some girls picked on petty stuff and used it to try and isolate or shame others. In my experience the more someone does that the more insecure they are.
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Posted 10/30/16
umm idk if it's competition i run away
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22 / M / Spokane, Washingt...
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Posted 10/30/16
I can't say I have experences of that sort, but competitive gaming, I do.
Before I meet my friend, she played pokemon by just trade and RP on pokemon with her other friends. Then I started playing pokemon with her too.
Needless to say, she got her butt handed to her. Repeatedly.
Eventually, I kicked her butt so many times, she got gud.
The ladies I do play pokemon with tend to focus more on role play and theme, but after some solid drilling for a couple of weeks, they still stick to their roots, but have a certain... brutalness to them.

guys tend to pussyfoot and switch around alot. (me included) The ladies love their hydro pump mega-blastoise or DD gyradoes.

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27 / F / Colorado Springs, Co
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Posted 10/30/16
Look. We females are our own worst enemies. And we're fake af. We say we support eachother and blah blah but really, we ridicule eachother worse than the males ridicule us. We're so hard on each other- especially if we don't know the other woman. We are so quick to slut shame a woman we don't know than the males... yet we call for equality and all this bs. I've had females hate me just for the way I looked ( not dressed or anything) but literlly just for my facial features and I'm like lolok? Like why? WHat does that accomplish? Nothing, exatly. It just separates us, is all. I'm no feminist or anyhthing but this crap has got to stop and we need to really lift eachother up because most males wont do it. They'll just see us as a sex symbol and that's it.



Also.. PS... i'm a little drunk typing this all lol. but it's mty feelings!
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21 / F / USA
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Posted 10/30/16
This is the reason I have all but abandoned by gender. All my friends have been male.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 10/30/16

Ravenstein wrote:

This is the reason I have all but abandoned by gender. All my friends have been male.


Haha. I like yah. Nothin' wrong with that.

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