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Post Reply Delayed feelings and Exes
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116 / M / USA
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Posted 11/1/16
So I've been in a few relationships now where a girl would date me and then after a few months they would get bored or things would get "complicated" and then they would break up with me. However, every time between like 1-4 months they always come back saying that they like me now way more than they did when we dated, have no idea why they broke up with me, and just really miss me in general.

This has been the fourth time this has happened to me so I'm just curious if anyone here has been in similar situations or if this is really just a common thing in general for people.
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20 / M / In a Yaoi Fanfic
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Posted 11/1/16
You're dating people at 116 years old? Dayum.
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116 / M / USA
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Posted 11/1/16
Hell yeahhhhhhhh. lol I apparently didn't want people knowing my age when I made this account like 5 years ago but I'm actually 22 now.
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Posted 11/1/16
Don't take this the wrong way but you are the common factor in all of these scenarios. Perhaps it is time to reassess your taste in potential mates?

Its either that or a gypsy curse and its probably easier to do some self reflection than lift a gypsy course. So try that first.
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 11/1/16 , edited 11/1/16

Hellhunter22 wrote:

So I've been in a few relationships now where a girl would date me and then after a few months they would get bored or things would get "complicated" and then they would break up with me. However, every time between like 1-4 months they always come back saying that they like me now way more than they did when we dated, have no idea why they broke up with me, and just really miss me in general.

This has been the fourth time this has happened to me so I'm just curious if anyone here has been in similar situations or if this is really just a common thing in general for people.


Yeah, I've had an ex who played this stupid game with me for years and like a moron I kept falling for it. Thank God I told her I was done with her games and told her to find a new idiot to play with.

You're better off single than to deal with crap like this on a regular basis, sadly saying this from lots of experience.

As for reason, those chicks are outright crazy, find someone who actually respects you. Anyone like this needs to be swiftly tossed to the curb where they belong. The enjoy this game because they like to feel wanted by multiple people and inflates their stupid ego, karma will bite them in the butt when they are older and realize everyone has left them and nobody will want them because nobody in the long run will continue to put up with this crap. In the end those who play with fire will get burned, so at least take satisfaction in that....

Oh and don't forget to block her from all forms of contact, social media, phone, IM, etc. You'll thank me later.
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24 / M / Under your skin.
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Posted 11/1/16
Did you fight with them a lot?
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 11/1/16
yeah, i gotta say that your choice in women suck, they are using you. your the fall back, the male version of a 3AM booty call.
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 11/1/16
You commented that your age is 22, there's your problem. A lot of people are really immature when they're younger, and a lot of people (girls especially) tend to date expecting their partner to be a total prince charming and for them to have it together and have a lot of money and spoil the shit out of them even if they're young and still studying or whatever. And then when it finally dawns on them later on they think 'wow that relationship wasn't as bad as I thought it was at the time and I really miss that person, I wish I hadn't broken up'. I noticed that a lot when I was younger that others around me would pull crap like that. That sort of attitude tends to go away as people mature and realize that life isn't full of cupcakes and rainbows 24/7 and that they have to do a lot of work to get where they want in life.
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 11/1/16

nemoskull wrote:

yeah, i gotta say that your choice in women suck, they are using you. your the fall back, the male version of a 3AM booty call.


^
Yeah, basically this, couldn't have said it better myself.
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F / Antique bookshop
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Posted 11/1/16
what makes u think they broke up because they are bored ?
did they said that ?
or becoz u are not making enough efforts ?
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20 / F
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Posted 11/1/16
Regretful exes are very common. However, I would just ask yourself this if someone does that again: Do you trust them? And if no, I'd recommend rejecting them. You're not obligated to try again with them, just think about what you want. Honestly I'm going to second what a lot of people are saying, at your and my ages people can be very immature, just give it a few years (or try dating older women like I do XD [I'm only kidding. Partially.])
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17 / F
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Posted 11/1/16
you need to be respected. you're not a second choice
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Posted 11/2/16

IshokuOsero wrote:

You commented that your age is 22, there's your problem. A lot of people are really immature when they're younger, and a lot of people (girls especially) tend to date expecting their partner to be a total prince charming and for them to have it together and have a lot of money and spoil the shit out of them even if they're young and still studying or whatever. And then when it finally dawns on them later on they think 'wow that relationship wasn't as bad as I thought it was at the time and I really miss that person, I wish I hadn't broken up'. I noticed that a lot when I was younger that others around me would pull crap like that. That sort of attitude tends to go away as people mature and realize that life isn't full of cupcakes and rainbows 24/7 and that they have to do a lot of work to get where they want in life.


1 million times this.
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Posted 11/2/16 , edited 11/2/16
I will say this: I ran a SHIT-TON of women off, who never, ever wanted to come back.

I was clingy as hell. Though, I did have this one girl who was so stalky she tried to say i impregnated her during a time when I was out of the country for 7 months.

Anywho, I just wanted a relationship too damned bad.

Then, I got into my first real falling in love. It was fucking amazing. Then is was pretty f-ing good. Then we both started controlling each other. Then I found out she'd fucked a bunch of other dudes and that she 'wasn't leaving me for the man" she married a year later.

And you know what? I fucked me up. Hard. Like downward spiral (wasn't just her, I had other shit go on, too. My rebound girl cheated with her first cousin. The next rebound girl killed herself, and left a note blaming me). Basically, it sent me into my darkest period in my entire life. And I became alone. Very alone, for years.

If I'm being honest, I I was almost Howard Hughes reclusive, and actually did many things Howard Hughes did in his final years.

I hit rock bottom. Accidentally overdosed on methadone. That's suck, by the way. Also, your heart can technically stop while you're still semi-conscious. Look it up. From my experience, it is one of the worst things in the world.... Having blood drawn from an artery in my wrist so they could tell if my blood still have enough oxygen (I think) because I stopped breathing for a bit. Long story short, drugs are bad, M'kay. Worst part was the week after when I was so fucking off I thought'd permanently caused brain damage.

And, bringing this full circle.... all of those things were the best experiences in my life, because they made me a better person. When you fall, the farther you fall, the higher you rise when you climb back out.

So, after I DID climb out of that shit... I met my amazing wife, and guess what? I'm not clingy. I never have been. I treat her the best I can, give her what she needs, even if that's space. So, knowing I'm doing my best, if I lose her to another person, it means nothing about the person I am, and I'm not at fault. I will move on.

That being said, she's my wife, and if she made a mistake and cheated on me, I'd forgive her. Though, it may be hard. She's my wife. She can divorce me and marry another man, and she'll be my wife, because I meant forever. No matter what happens in this life, if my wife needs me, I'm going to be there. I may life alone for the rest of my life, waiting for when my wife returns or needs me. But, I'll be faithful, not sleep with anyone else, til the day I day.

Isn't that balls crazy?
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32 / Somewhere...
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Posted 11/2/16
This too shall pass....

I had guys do this to me. I did this to a guy or two when I was younger. It can most certainly work both ways, and definitely mirrors a lack of maturity. As you get older, you'll find out more about yourself and others, and eventually come to understand more fully what you want and need in a relationship. Some of us are blessed to find a great relationship at a young age while others have to wait a while. We all make mistakes along the way, but I believe that if you always treat your partner (and most importantly, yourself) with respect, then you can rest easy at the end of the day. Don't let yourself be used and good luck.
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