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Post Reply Manipulation in Relationships
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19 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 11/3/16
Well... I was never in such a relationship myself, but I am not at all proud to say that I was that guy at one time. Early in my second year of highschool I tried using emotional manipulation to persuade a friend who had turned me down into going out with me. Easily my least proud moment and most likely the worst thing I have ever done. Thankfully she's smart enough not to fall for idiotic bullshit like that.
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Posted 11/3/16
I had a boyfriend in uni, only for a short while, who was the excessively jealous type and tried to make me feel bad about hanging out with anyone. He knew I was bisexual, so he was paranoid that if I went out with girls or boys I'd end up cheating on him, and at first he would always go with me to hang out with people. Didn't mind that, necessarily, but he'd always come back to the dorms with me acting sour and saying "oh he was hitting on you, why don't you tell him off?" when I knew my friend wasn't. After three or four weeks, he started up with the "I don't want you to hang out with them again" stuff and I dumped him. Not worth it.
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19 / M / Finland
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Posted 11/3/16
So in one of my past relationships I did get manipulated, not that I didn't make it east for her. Very severe depression and low self-esteem make it exceptionally easy.

Basically, I was always at fault when something was causing unrest between the two ofus, also she often played that "there's nobody else" card. And I don't mean it like "There is nobody else for me". The opposite of that "there's nobody else for you, but me". She would always threaten to leave me when I was arguing against her. Things like that. She'd always make sure I knew that I was no one special and that she was doing it to from the goodness of her heart. And that I always was afraid that she'd leave me over the smallest of things going wrong.

Eventually things escalated, nasty stuff happened and she was done having fun with me and left me.

Okay, not really. I think she just wanted to have more fun at my expense and actually went with a guy who had been a bully of mine during school years and one of the major factors on why I was on such an awful state to begin with.


Ultimately, it had lessons to be learned and who to be trusted. So it had some meaning, even if nasty memories.

Though I am in relationship where I feel happy right now, I do still have a little of the self doubt left. Which, I guess can also be somewhat manipulative from my part. As needing to be reassured she really likes me. That can emotionally taxing. But I have gotten better at it at least.
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Posted 11/3/16
Suppose i can tell i'm in a healthy relationship for now?
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23 / F / North
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Posted 11/3/16

HateKillingCamels wrote:

"if you leave I'll kill myself"


Lmao I'll be like "so kill yourself then bye".
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Posted 11/3/16

starshots wrote:

Lmao I'll be like "so kill yourself then bye".


Unfortunately I don't have a heart of frozen ice :c
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19 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 11/3/16

TiredOfYou wrote:

Suppose i can tell i'm in a healthy relationship for now?


Why just for now?
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23 / M / Montreal,Quebec,...
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Posted 11/3/16 , edited 11/3/16
Never felt any manipulation from my partner.
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 11/3/16
I had an ex that was the type of possessive controlling person who over time basically stopped me from ever going out and doing things with my friends. I went from having a perfectly good social life and going out to RHPS every weekend, to getting constant texts the few times I was out with any friend at all of 'are you still with x? why? when are you going to be done?'. I dated that jerk for two years and then finally called it quits when I realized I didn't really have many friends sticking by me anymore. It's been like five years and I'm still having issues getting more social again because it wore me down so much and I got so used to always being in my house.
Posted 11/3/16
My ex-girlfriend would want to go through my phone all the time. If I forgot to reply to a text or call of hers, she would flip out. She always came to the conclusion that I was cheating. After a while, I got fed up with and left her.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 11/3/16 , edited 11/3/16

pansyforyourthoughts wrote:

I had a boyfriend in uni, only for a short while, who was the excessively jealous type and tried to make me feel bad about hanging out with anyone. He knew I was bisexual, so he was paranoid that if I went out with girls or boys I'd end up cheating on him, and at first he would always go with me to hang out with people. Didn't mind that, necessarily, but he'd always come back to the dorms with me acting sour and saying "oh he was hitting on you, why don't you tell him off?" when I knew my friend wasn't. After three or four weeks, he started up with the "I don't want you to hang out with them again" stuff and I dumped him. Not worth it.


Possessive boyfriend knowing you're bisexual sounds like a nightmare.



Good on dumping that one.


Apholo wrote:

My ex-girlfriend would want to go through my phone all the time. If I forgot to reply to a text or call of hers, she would flip out. She always came to the conclusion that I was cheating. After a while, I got fed up with and left her.


Yeah. I wouldn't stand the 'going through the phone' thing. That is never a healthy sign.
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Posted 11/7/16

octorockandroll wrote:


TiredOfYou wrote:

Suppose i can tell i'm in a healthy relationship for now?


Why just for now?


I'm in a ldr! For now i've never have or feel manipulated and i haven't had the need to manipulate him as well, hope when i move in with him we remain the same. I kinda played and manipulated my ex psychologically until the point of making him doubt on his own existence but it was because he was a douche-bag and deserve it. Hope this has answered your question.
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