Post Reply One Wish
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Posted 11/4/16 , edited 26 days ago
I made a rap song about my wish to Shenron from Dragon Ball Super.

I produced and mixed the track.

Here it is:

https://youtu.be/-MdtMNWn-JQ
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Posted 11/4/16
I listened to it, but rap isn't my thing.

Also, the sound wasn't very good, in general.

Maybe rerecord?

Otherwise good job.
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Posted 11/4/16

HolyDrumstick wrote:

I listened to it, but rap isn't my thing.

Also, the sound wasn't very good, in general.

Maybe rerecord?

Otherwise good job. :)


thanks.

youtube lowered the quality of my track for some reason.

it's better on my computer.

thanks for the listen.
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Posted 11/4/16

iambetterthanyou wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

I listened to it, but rap isn't my thing.

Also, the sound wasn't very good, in general.

Maybe rerecord?

Otherwise good job. :)


thanks.

youtube lowered the quality of my track for some reason.

it's better on my computer.

thanks for the listen.


No problem.

If you can, give my work a read.
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Posted 11/4/16

HolyDrumstick wrote:


iambetterthanyou wrote:


HolyDrumstick wrote:

I listened to it, but rap isn't my thing.

Also, the sound wasn't very good, in general.

Maybe rerecord?

Otherwise good job. :)


thanks.

youtube lowered the quality of my track for some reason.

it's better on my computer.

thanks for the listen.


No problem.

If you can, give my work a read. :)


ok i'll read your work but not right now because i have to go buy some things.

i'll quote your post with my opinion later on.
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Posted 11/4/16


Super appreciative of the support.
Posted 21 days ago
Ill be honest,...its not that great

the chorus is a real cringe in all honesty.

when you say "SHENRON SHENRON SHENRON" dont actually say it, speak it once and than turn it into an echo and fade it out.
having it yell out like that distorts the music and the sound and goes for a very angry feel that the rest of the song doesnt really represent

you either need to change SHENRON or the lyrics, I get it, you like DBZ and wanted that represented into your rap, but the lyrics dont go well with shenron, it' be better if you switch it out for god, as many rappers represent god in their lyrics/prayers during rap, or add more DBZ references in your song,

like "I'm no red-ribbon Army, I cant get taken down by any single man" or something like that, referencing obviously RRA and Goku, as well as your strength

and reason to either changed shenron or change the lyrics is youre going to get DBZ fans to your song and says it sucks because you dont discuss DBZ, and youre going to get Rap fans who dont understand who shenron is, and you yelling it will make them go wtf,
most people wont make the connection either as you only say shenron during the chorus,

like even if the rap isnt about DBZ, if its meant to be towards Shenron it should still reference more elements of the show to better interact with fans who like DBZ and to bring out your more nerdy side,

because it really just sounds like honestly everyday gangsta/hoodrat/thug rap about wanting money with shenron in the chorus, nothing special. somewhat confusing, if you can write out the lyrics for me I can probs help you form it a bit better if you want the DBZ references,

also for the audio, Lower the tracks sound, but raise your voice over it, there was times I couldn't hear you as well because the beats were too loud
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