First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
Post Reply Serious Question about Insensitivity.
runec 
28280 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 23 days ago

ninjitsuko wrote:
Here are my thoughts, take them as you will.


This is a well reasoned and thought out observation on the situation. Perhaps there is hope after all-



HolyDrumstick wrote:
However, it's all bullshit. There are plenty of times that I've come to understandings with people in these very forums, after having a legitimate discussion. So, to be perfectly honest, I find your evaluation of why I am the way I am.... well, let's just say you aren't getting it.


-and nope, there it goes again. Well, it was nice while it lasted.



PrinceJudar wrote:
Speaking as someone who had to learn tact and wasn't so much born with it intrinsically...


Judar also brings a valid point to the table.
20644 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 23 days ago , edited 23 days ago

HolyDrumstick wrote:


Bryaugh wrote:

No people shouldn't be bitching about every little thing, but recent history still has a real and major impact today for many people. They are compelled to fight for their rights and cultural acceptance, because it won't just happen on it's own. It actually takes a real and conserted effort to make a cultural change, even after legislation is enacted.


Rights and cultural acceptance are often two very different things. There is no one who is oppressed in the US. Everyone is equal.

Guess what, there's always going to be people who don't like you for whatever excuse they can find. Just like certain people don't like me because I'm a straight white dude. I call them out on it, but I certainly don't want big brother sheltering me from such nonsense.

The problem is not equality, but rather people aren't receiving the special treatment they feel they are entitled to because they fall into a special group that a small amount of people are bigoted against.


First of all, the effects of disenfranchisement and harassment and hate are still real in these days in spite of “equal rights”. Those people who live with the consequences of that bigotry, and sometimes still experience that bigotry are sensitive to it. They don't want to lose the progress that was made fighting for those rights.

Maybe from some people's perspective others are too sensitive. If someone makes a comment that pokes at that sensitivity, by intent or not, they may cry “insensitive” or bigoted or whatever. Fine, what's the big deal? You don't technically owe them special treatment, or an apology or anything. But if you could see things from their perspective you might consider.

However, if the discourse isn't going in a productive way and has simply devolved into labeling, insults or harassment, just stop. You can't reason with everyone, just move on. And those who are extremists in either hatred, or self-pity aren't representative of the common sense that most people on either side of an issue have. The majority and well-tempered and rational opinions aren't likely to be amplified on forums, or youtube comments, etc... Extremist and flame bait gets attention.
16843 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / L'Étoile du Nord,...
Offline
Posted 23 days ago
Insensitivity is a tough one. Admittedly, I'm a sensitive guy, but I've been working on it in recent years. But I speak from personal experience when I say that I've said things online years back that came across sounding callous or insensitive. Imagine what it must be like these days, where almost everything risks sounding insensitive, and worse is that the offended person can have a platform to address his grievances.
15166 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
37 / M / So. Cal
Offline
Posted 23 days ago , edited 23 days ago
I have virtually no empathy, I'm not wired for it. I try to solve all life's problems with logic and reason, so I get the insensitive label a lot. So I can say, trolls aside, the problem is the inability to understand on a comparative level. When one's feeling are hurt one seeks comfort and empathy, people to understand their pain. But we all don't experience emotions the same and we try to relate the experience like one would physical pain. I have never been stabbed, but I have been electrocuted. I can only imagine what getting stabbed feels like but an describe to you exactly what being electrocuted felt like in words nigh anyone can understand. Hurt feelings is the same, if one cannot comprehend the reasons behind said pain they'll never be able relate unless the other articulates it in a manner one can understand. Some people will just be mean and rude because it amuses them and they know it will get a reaction. On the other hand some people use "insensitivity" as a weapon propagate their brand of censorship. With the real sufferers being everyone between these two extreme points of view.
945 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / Sweden
Offline
Posted 23 days ago
I don't think it's that bad. I have a hard time with empathy. When I do understand someone else's emotions I can have sympathy though. Though the issue isn't that I don't care but that I often don't understand.
Gets It.
24735 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
32 / M / Raleigh, North Ca...
Online
Posted 23 days ago

HolyDrumstick wrote:
Well, that's an interesting take on me, who I am, and how I handle things that I don't agree with.

However, it's all bullshit. There are plenty of times that I've come to understandings with people in these very forums, after having a legitimate discussion. So, to be perfectly honest, I find your evaluation of why I am the way I am.... well, let's just say you aren't getting it.


Take into consideration that the vast majority of the threads that I've seen you post in, personally, have been the political ones. My comment focuses on these particular threads and how they align with "insensitivity". Your response to it aligns with my theory, though. You're insensitive because you believe that being sensitive towards someone does not resolve the overall root cause of the sensitivity. I have seen you attempt to be rational; it isn't like you're some of the hardcore trolls that have outright posted Nazi propaganda or directly insulting comments. You attempt to have a discussion - but, like myself, you end up having a conversation with someone who simply doesn't want to have a conversation.

I mean this in the sense that you and I may be willing to discuss things and accept that we're not perfect in our assumptions. (Honestly, my first part of my response was a generalization based off of your comments thus far that I, myself, have seen. That doesn't mean that I'm 100% correct in everything I said.) That difference is that you and I are the types that are willing to step outside of our comfort zone and accept that there could be a reason to be skeptical about something. The only outlier to this was the "Safe Place" thread where you took it a bit personally and responded as such. You struck back in a passive-aggressive tone (in the text, at least) because you haven't quite aligned with understanding how the word "privilege" is used in the context of that thread. Typing words does not convey all thoughts, feelings, or tone - this is the greatest folly of our modern world. We send so much text that we believe we understand someone's intent just because they're typing it.


HolyDrumstick wrote:
I disagree when people have stupid arguments, going as far as to defend positions I don't entirely agree with, simply because the opposing argument is so terribly bad. Feel free to go look at my discussion on the holocaust (one of these threads on the front page) to see exactly what I'm talking about.

Why am I insensitive? Well, I'll tell you, I'm not always insensitive. When I AM insensitive, it's because walking on eggshells to a sensitive person does nothing to make them less sensitive. In fact, it reinforces their idea that they shouldn't be criticized or deal with opposing opinions. You're welcome to go check that yourself, too.


I think something that's been mentioned on this thread a few times comes into play the strongest here: tact. Being tactful in how you phrase things when you're discussing something doesn't mean you're necessarily being sensitive to them, just respectful that you have conflicting beliefs. You aren't the "worst offender" in this category here. There were some that were banned for their responses on the "Safe Places" thread, rightfully so. Were you being insensitive in some of your responses? Some, but not all. I'll accept some of my response/evaluation of your posts was wrong - but here's another thought:

Your original posts on a thread tend to show compassion and the desire to understand (this includes the "Safe Places" thread). As more people disagree with you, the less the desire to understand is there. Is this because you get tired of debating/discussing things with people who simply won't budge on trying to understand your side as well? (this is an olive branch of me trying to understand - because if this is the case, it's similar as to why I blocked that one guy).

You shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around anyone. At the same time, that doesn't mean you have to stomp on them to get across the valley. I think that's where you and I slightly seem to split off to different routes. I agree with a lot of the things you say in regards to insensitivity; but, I do attempt to be tactful about understanding both sides (until someone goes out of their way to bash the whole conversation to hell and back).But that leads us to ...


HolyDrumstick wrote:
There's a big difference in your debate scenario and what we're actually dealing with.

Most people realize that. I imagine you know that, but are just trying to cool the waters or smooth things out. People who don't realize that are currently being sheltered from criticism by our society, so.... it's kind of hard to get any criticism to their ears. Case and point: this whole situation on CR -- you saying all this here, now, dismissing everything I said by saying I was unable to adjust my opinion in the first place.


I think you've taken what I said slightly out of context. I wasn't dismissing everything you've said just because you couldn't align your opinion to their own. It's how it's been handled, not specifically by you or by anyone else. As a community, CR has burned bridges pretty quickly due to this election.

As for a national/international scale, both sides have their fair share of extremists. The left and the right both have a very decisive stance on what is "right" and what is "wrong". I have met quite a few "Social Justice Warriors" who are willing to sit down and listen to criticism of their views, to discuss why they believe in what they believe in - not everyone is the "white male bashing, misconstruing minorities, hating all of the Republicans/Conservatives SJWS" that we get to see so frequently online. There's a balance. We, as a society and a community (CR), have yet to find this balance. If you look online, you're more than likely to find videos of people who are offended because someone disagrees with them. I'm not saying that this is the right way of going about it but rationality has never been humanity's strongest asset.

If anything, I believe that the "politically correct aligned" people who are labeled "SJWs" on the radical/extreme side are simply exhibiting behavior that aligns with the rest of humanity. When we're threatened, we shout - we yell - we kick our feet. From the point of being toddlers until we're grown, we all have had our outbursts in some way or another. You are correct; I do know the difference between a debate on CR and how society is appearing at this time. The only issue is that fighting against the "politically correct" (which is why some people have voted for Trump) only shows that the extreme SJWs have a point, somewhere in all of the rambling and shouting. It goes back to the lack of balance.

We, as a species as it's impacting people internationally, need to figure out how to collectively chill the hell out. People should be treated fairly but that doesn't mean that <insert stereotype or label here> should be treated "more fairly" than any others. This goes for race, sexuality, gender, etc... When I really look at the world, I see that we're trying to balance the equality for everyone. The difference is that we're all struggling and fighting against equality when we want that "little bit more" (that's everyone, not any one demographic). That's the point where I get curious. Movements like feminists were all for equality between men and women until they got some leverage and then was hoping to shift the scales in their favor instead. That's happening everywhere - not just in the feminist movement but LGBTQ, Caucasian Males, Minorities as a whole... we always struggle for that "extra little bit" as a demographic.

Anyways, I'm rambling. The "international chess board" of human society is a tricky one. Pieces do not move with any sense of direction and everyone's trying to move over to the "other side" to become a King/Queen on the board. But, for now, how about we try to figure out how to stop this same logic on Crunchyroll? Just exist and discuss things peacefully. This section wasn't aimed at you - but the "there's a big difference in your debate scenario and what we're actually dealing with" statement.
55650 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M
Offline
Posted 23 days ago
The thing is the people that can't setbacks, be they emotional or physical, will slam brutally into the first difficult wall in life. An attempt to stay safe and comfortable just let's the people who are able to deal have a hand up. Imagine trying to climb the Starcraft Ladder, but only taking matches that aren't too stressful. Your job and family work this way. Everything works that way. I'd like to encourage people to take emotional challenge like any other physical challenge.

Sensitivity helps in forming and maintaining bonds, but in many fields it is superfluous, and in some cases is manipulatable. One should care when to be wholly insensitive, as sometimes tiptoeing around issues can make matters worse.
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.