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Dating and infertility
Posted 11/14/16

IllIllIIlIllIlIllIlIlIlI wrote:


usuibj wrote:

This is a dumb question but can you become infertile by being on birth control for a long time? I've been on an oral contraceptive for 8 years.


I would still stay with my s/o though if that was the case


So you've been on birth control since you were 13? Damn brah


It might be 7. I started taking it at the end of 8th grade. To regulate my period lol.
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Posted 11/14/16 , edited 11/14/16
If you were to find out that your significant other was infertile, how would you react?
I mean, of course I'd be disappointed.

Would that be an enormous deal breaker?
No, of course not. If you love somebody why would that be a reason to leave them. You could always adopt if you still want kids and want to raise a family with them.

Do you think a person is obligated to tell you their medical history before you actually start dating?
Depends what they have. If they have a sexually transmitted disease you bet ya, in the case of AIDS/HIV they are legally required to do so in the US. If they have a terminal or serious illness definitely. It is important to be open and honest with somebody in order to have a strong healthy relationship and it is always better to figure out if a relationship is going to work out sooner rather than later.
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Posted 11/15/16
we can adopt
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31 / F
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Posted 11/15/16
Infertility is not an issue for me. In fact, I have no plans on having children any time soon (if ever), so infertility would actually be a plus.
Posted 11/15/16
Before dating anyone, I make it clear that I despise children, and that if I ever have one, I would kill it. I cannot stand their voice or annoyance.
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Posted 11/15/16
Simple
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Posted 11/15/16
The only information I want before anything happens in term of sex is if she got STD's. Anything else in terms of medial history is just off putting, I don't care about her medical history as the only thing I care about is getting to know about her personallaity. Oh and if she have problems getting children then that's gonna be a field trip for me (I hate children, their so annoying)
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Posted 11/15/16 , edited 11/15/16
To be truthful I am at that stage of life where children seem a desirable thing . And it is one of the things I want most out of any long term and or significant relationship. Though if I came to love a person to the point where marriage and children seem like a good idea to discuss with them then it of course means they've fulfilled the things I am looking for in a person. Such a person I don't believe exists anymore but if they did I don't think I could for the sake of my sanity put them aside simply for the sake of infertility.

At the same time I am not going to lie and say it'd be water under the bridge. Some part of me would like to prove myself a far better father then my biological one. Then again I have to remember that I myself am largely a product of a adoptive father and I turned out better then most I believe. So I suppose if children are to be this kind of concern for me adoption is always an option.

As for them disclosing their medical history I believe one is legally required to if one is suffering from any STDs like AIDS/HIV. If they have a terminal illness I believe it a common courtesy to inform their partners but otherwise I believe any other medical information is at their discretion to reveal.
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Posted 11/15/16
You can adopt, you can hire/rent a womb, you can try curing ect ect
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Posted 11/15/16
actually i do think people are obligated to tell there medical history before dating someone. they need to know what they're getting into before they get into it. if theyre infertile... not really a choice i suppose, depending on the situation, nonetheless... i wouldnt really mind being able to have children or not, theres other options, adoption. So, isn't much of a big deal if we cant exactly have our own kids. i personally dont want kids anyway so -_- guess id be more okay with it than others who want there own kids or kids period.
Posted 11/15/16

Nalaniel wrote:

We all know that dating is a rather complex process that involves many aspects of human life. When a person falls in love, they most likely do not know the individual they want to be in a romantic relationship with all too good. That means many things stay hidden until the both of them decide to think and talk about certain topics. That is how it usually goes. Specific thoughts do not occur until after two people spend a certain amount of time with each other.

If you were to find out that your significant other was infertile, how would you react? Would that be an enormous deal breaker? Do you think a person is obligated to tell you their medical history before you actually start dating?

Edit: awkward, exclusive terminology such as "girlfriend" has been replaced by gender-neutral terms that are appropriate for a wider audience. I apologise for the confusion this might have caused.


Lol

I'd honestly feel bad for them. Yeah that is a deal breaker for me personally. And no there shouldn't be an obligation to tell ya, unless they have an STD or something. It would be nice if they gave you a heads up before hand.
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Posted 11/15/16 , edited 11/15/16
I see a lot of people saying they don't want kids who are in their early 20s. Believe it or not, life views change. Your view might (or might not) be different in 10-15 years.

The question of course, is an impossibility. You can't hypothetical a question like this, since you don't know the person you're with whom this might come up.with as an issue. She/he might be so perfect that it might not be an issue. She/He might be so accommodating on the issue that it's not an issue (Surrogate mother, adoption, implants, open marriage with threesomes, etc.).

Likewise, at what point in the relationship you are matters. I'm tossing the gender neutral stuff from here on in. I'm a guy, so when I was going out, I let it be known early on that I wanted kids.with whoever I settled down with. It wasn't first date conversation, but it's easy to let someone know that you like kids.

Also, a woman who is infertile today might be able to still bear children with an implanted fertilized egg, possibly her own. And with advances in medicine, she might be able to conceive naturally 10 years from now after treatment. There are plenty of options out there. Adoption or, "I can't get pregnant, but I want kids, and we can have orgies with my smoking hot friends who'll let us adopt their babies."

So the question becomes, does she want children? If the answer is no I can say that if it was at an early stage of the relationship, I'd probably have backed away, though for the right woman...?

What I can say is that I married a woman, we both wanted kids and she started having miscarriages. Incredibly upsetting for both of us. It's devastating to go in, hear a heartbeat one week, and none the next week. We were about to go to a specialist when she got pregnant again, and surprise, miracle baby became our firstborn. But when the miscarriages started, I never, ever thought of leaving her.

So, this question has too much hypothetical. Further, it's not just a matter of infertility but openness to having children, period.
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PATHETIQUE
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Posted 11/15/16
I don't want to have any screaming bundles from hell, so I don't even consider this.
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Posted 11/25/16
Could save a lot of money not having to buy contraceptives
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Posted 11/25/16
You would have to be aware that you were infertile to be able to disclose it. If you were aware of it, then disclosing it to a person that you are seriously dating would be the right thing to do.
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