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Post Reply Dating and infertility
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24 / Decemberunderground
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Posted 12 days ago
I wouldn't care honestly. Doesn't really change who they are as a person. Plus I decided a long time ago if I ever got to the point
of wanting a kid I would want to adopt.
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21 / Australia
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Posted 11 days ago
I'll think about it if I ever date someone.
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22 / M / Spokane, Washingt...
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Posted 11 days ago
Considering that right now I've had shit sleep for an entire week due to a crying infant next door, I'd actually take that as good news, at least initially.

As much as I love kids, I also hate them, specifically their unreasonably and obnoxiousness. I do not mind babysitting kids, but full time parent. 8I. Very scary prospect for almost anyone who is childless.

As much as I'd like to be egotistical and say my children would be superior and smarter and such other bullshit, I know they wouldn't. No help from my autism, but even if they dodge that bullet, they will still be kids. In this day and age, If I really wanted children, I'd go for adoption. Not only is there Less risk of having a mentally handicapped child to add further strain, but there is already 7.6 billion people on this big green and blue rock. We don't need more.

Then again, my opinion might be worth jack diddly squat, considering that the 1 girlfriend I did have was clearly not interested in sexual relations, and the rest of the ladies I've dated only went to second date before they became my friends.

Besides, what poor kid wants to have me as a parent:P
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Posted 11 days ago

ishe5555 wrote:

You would have to be aware that you were infertile to be able to disclose it. If you were aware of it, then disclosing it to a person that you are seriously dating would be the right thing to do.


That's true. Also fertility can change. Some can be infertile for a while then become fertile or start off fertile and become infertile. I've known a couple that married since they both were 18 and for years and years no, children. When they got to their late 30s suddenly babies happened. Then there's the women who have one successful pregnancy and can't conceive naturally again after that. IVF is a chance of having a baby but it is not a good chance. Some spend a lot of money with no success. I know two couples in that position.

There are options you can look at like IVF, surrogacy, adoption according to what's available and accessible to people where they live. There's also co-parenting. Divorced people are in co-parenting arrangements if they share the childcare. Single people who are not married can also make such an arrangement. That can be done AI (artificial insemination) or the regular way. Some gay parents become parents this way.
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42 / M
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Posted 11 days ago , edited 11 days ago
I wouldn't mind one bit because I don't want to have children. Also I'm pretty damn sure that I'm infertile because of my lack of testosterone. I have to have weekly injections because drug abuse destroyed my bodies ability to create testosterone naturally so I'm not really sure if I could even get someone pregnant. I sure wouldn't like to test that the hard way though so I always use some form of protection. It really wouldn't hurt to talk about that with your partner even if you're a new couple. It's sort of like STD's and I think people are becoming more and more accepting of talking about STD's and protection when they start dating. If not then they should be. I know it's not very romantic but it is important. The first thing I did when I got sober was to have blood work to make sure I didn't have any STD's and thank goodness I was clean. Everything came back negative. Of course I always used protection, even back then so that probably helped. I was always afraid that I'd have a kid and he'd share my depression and that I would pass it down genetically. Just the thought of being responsible for someone else feeling this way is enough to make my heart hurt. I have no idea how fertile my sperm is and it probably wouldn't hurt me to ask my doctor next time I see him. As far as a turn off goes, nope. For me that's just a bonus. I really really do not want children. I have my cats and they're enough to deal with.
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Posted 11 days ago , edited 11 days ago

Nalaniel wrote:

We all know that dating is a rather complex process that involves many aspects of human life. When a person falls in love, they most likely do not know the individual they want to be in a romantic relationship with all too good. That means many things stay hidden until the both of them decide to think and talk about certain topics. That is how it usually goes. Specific thoughts do not occur until after two people spend a certain amount of time with each other.

If you were to find out that your significant other was infertile, how would you react? Would that be an enormous deal breaker? Do you think a person is obligated to tell you their medical history before you actually start dating?

Edit: awkward, exclusive terminology such as "girlfriend" has been replaced by gender-neutral terms that are appropriate for a wider audience. I deeply apologise for the confusion this might have caused.


If you are in a relationship with someone and find out after the fact that they are infertile, you are not mature enough to consider having children. Mature adults that enter romantic relationships will make sure to explore these topics before entering a romantic relationship or in the first few dates.

Now, if your significant other does not know and you find out down the line, that is a different story. But if you're too afraid to ask if the person you're considering romance with if they want children before proceeding, then you need to do some emotional growing first.

As for the case where neither knew that one was infertile, you'll have to cross that bridge when you get to it. Both of you will likely want to pursue different paths as one who can have children will be giving up the chance to have children to stay with the other and the other will always feel guilty for that. But, if it really doesn't matter (and despite some opinions, there is no shame in desiring to create your own offspring), you can always adopt.
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24 / Mexico
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Posted 10 days ago
For me this is not a problem, because I would like to adopt, why bringing another person to the world while there are too much babies that need someone to love and take care of them?

But it is very important to be honest and there is a point in a relation that you have to tell the other person your plans about paternity. I saw many couples getting broken because they had different plans and they didn't discussed.
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