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Post Reply How do you deal with the hardship of getting rid of a friend you've known for a long time?
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18 / M / California
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Posted 15 days ago
There's always a good reason if I stop being someone's friend. Early Sept I lost a really good friend I've known for about 6yrs. I didn't feel bad about it. In fact, I was pretty happy that it was one less thing to worry about, one less fake makes things easier. He did some shit to another "friend" and tried to get me involved lol. Anyways, there's no reason to feel bad about it, at least not to me. Things would be way worse if I went against who I was abd stayed his friend.

Think about your scenario, your friend's actions, and your reasoning. Was it worth it, was it the right decision? Just don't regret your decision and find a way to cope. There's a lot of things you can do. There's also no guarantee your friendship is over permanently unless you made it that way.
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18 / M / California
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Posted 15 days ago

ironh19 wrote:

don't be a pussy. I have had many friends move, die, whatever. I don't allow my emotions cloud my focus. there are 2 types of humans on this planet, tools or obstacles.


Haha, but were you always like that? I agree with what you're saying, except for the last part.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 15 days ago

TheOriginalStraynge wrote:

It's quite easy. Just turn that crap off like a light switch. Turn your back on them, ignore them like I do until they start to hate you for it. Go on about your life as if they never existed. I don't see why people get so hung up over this. Just be a robot for a while and eventually it will just come naturally to you. And for the record: I don't have any friends but I used to and I cut them all loose like driftwood in the sea. Most I cut off when I cut all ties to drugs while others I just wasn't in any shape to deal with and as time went by I decided just to leave that whole era behind me including everyone in it. It's not too hard to turn off one's emotions if you have enough practice. All you have to do is die a little on the inside and then next time you can die a little more until eventually you realized you've lost too much and you really are a zombie now. Then you can either stay emotionally dead or claw your way back out of hell and try to relearn how to be a human again and how to have friends...........................or

you can talk to your ex-friend and find a way to part on good terms even if the reason your parting is because of bad things. It's hard if not impossible to erase good memories. They don't want to be erased and if you successfully do kick them to the back of your mind then one day they'll come rearing back and it will hurt like hell, especially after all those years of pretending to have no emotions. To have them all come back at once when you're not used to dealing with them is no easy thing. I would talk to this person and be cordial. Explain to them that A. You love them because they're your friend but B. You can no longer hang out or be friends right now because of C. and that it would probably be best to just not hang out anymore. Treat it like a normal breakup and give yourself some closure. I would think that all those years of closeness and good memories deserve that at least.




Leaving them with no closure like that is a really dick move imo.
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(´◔౪◔)✂❤
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Posted 15 days ago
Just do it.
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32 / M / Pensacola
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Posted 15 days ago

TrickedMJ wrote:


ironh19 wrote:

don't be a pussy. I have had many friends move, die, whatever. I don't allow my emotions cloud my focus. there are 2 types of humans on this planet, tools or obstacles.


Haha, but were you always like that? I agree with what you're saying, except for the last part.



I grew a hatred for humanity at an early age.
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Posted 15 days ago

ironh19 wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


ironh19 wrote:

don't be a pussy. I have had many friends move, die, whatever. I don't allow my emotions cloud my focus. there are 2 types of humans on this planet, tools or obstacles.


Haha, but were you always like that? I agree with what you're saying, except for the last part.



I grew a hatred for humanity at an early age.
jaysus will come save us all
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 15 days ago , edited 14 days ago

ironh19 wrote:

don't be a pussy. I have had many friends move, die, whatever. I don't allow my emotions cloud my focus. there are 2 types of humans on this planet, tools or obstacles.


You don't sound too happy, mate.

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18 / M / California
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Posted 15 days ago

ironh19 wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:


ironh19 wrote:

don't be a pussy. I have had many friends move, die, whatever. I don't allow my emotions cloud my focus. there are 2 types of humans on this planet, tools or obstacles.


Haha, but were you always like that? I agree with what you're saying, except for the last part.



I grew a hatred for humanity at an early age.


I think humanity is quite stupid and what not, but don't you feel hatred is a waste of energy? Though I don't know what you've gone through.
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23 / F / North
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Posted 15 days ago
I lost all my friends in 10th grade. Ever since then, I've been having a very hard time making real friends.
Now that I'm older, people my age don't have time for friends, they are into their own lives trying to get their shit together.
Vahvi 
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26 / M / Ever Changing
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Posted 14 days ago , edited 14 days ago

starshots wrote:

I lost all my friends in 10th grade. Ever since then, I've been having a very hard time making real friends.
Now that I'm older, people my age don't have time for friends, they are into their own lives trying to get their shit together.


Yeah I feel for ya, I'd moved around and switched schools a lot so I never really developed a solid circle of friends. Midway through my sophomore year I had to switch again where I landed at what would be my last high school and the place where i'd meet my now ex-girlfriend whom i was madly in love with at the time and truly hope has found a better life. Since I had her I never bothered with going out of my way to connect with others but that's where I'd made a big mistake. Graduated and roughly four years later we had broken up and I had no one.

Present day I'm a very casual and outgoing person who's always trying to make new friends; but you're right, a lot of people are preoccupied with their own lives and that's always an obstacle.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 14 days ago
Haven't done it yet usually just drift apart naturally and don't bother with the drama of "ending friendship"
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21 / Australia
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Posted 14 days ago , edited 14 days ago

Rujikin wrote:

Haven't done it yet usually just drift apart naturally and don't bother with the drama of "ending friendship"


This man knows what is up. I've never had to end a friendship, it just happens naturally over time and even then I don't really drop them as friends, I just see and speak with them less. To me, they are still my friend.
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Posted 13 days ago
life goes on-- so get over it and move on

now a day if you want to keep your friendship-- avoid talking about politics

but if things went south

you can't really fix a broken glass so move on..
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32 / Somewhere...
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Posted 13 days ago
I only know one person I had to do this too, and she would always say we were best friends. I learned over the years that I was her best friend, but she never really was mine in return. She was the only individual that I truly fought with of all the people I considered friends.

Here's what I did: I told her I wanted to move on with my life, and suggested she do the same. This was over 10 years ago. She still tries to reach out to me. I still tell her the same thing I told her years ago, if I even respond at all. It's really as simple as that.
Sogno- 
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Posted 13 days ago
just stop talking to them

silent treatment works wonders
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