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Post Reply How do you know when you can trust a person?
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16 / F
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Posted 8 days ago
I've been wanting to know how other people view this question. How do you know when you can trust a person? What really defines a trust between people?

As for me the way I see it is that trust is able to be gained from common interests and over time. By having common interests with another person you're similar in a way, which allows you to share more information with that person which helps build up a bond over time. Over time people become more trustworthy as you learn more and more about them. That is how I view it at least.

I've never really trusted people after 5 bonds were broken however, as it was just a bunch of people I thought I could had trust but turned out to be "fake" I suppose is a fitting term. So I don't really trust people 85%-100% anymore as I don't want to have it turn out to be fake in the end. I guess that could be interpreted as I'm paranoid about it but I don't think that is the case.

I think the biggest sign to knowing when you can trust someone is when you know them very well they don't show any signs of being "fake" and you can share something personal without fear.

I just think over time trust is gained as people form bonds of any kind and learn more about each other as long as they aren't "fake" that is. So what are your thoughts on this? How do you know when you can trust a person? What signs are there to indicate you can trust someone?

I'd like to know what people's perspectives are on this subject.

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20 / M / In a Yaoi Fanfic
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Posted 8 days ago
It's literally just a feeling for me. Though I tend to not trust many people anyways.

Plus if they're fake they'll reek of bullcrap everytime they open their mouth.
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23 / Hopes Peak High S...
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Posted 8 days ago
I don't think I'll ever trust people again or at least not for awhile after my break up.
But for me personally, sometimes, I keep things to myself for so long that I just blurt it out without realizing what the consequences may be.
As for when do I trust people? I'm not sure myself tbh, one day I'll just be like 'I trust this person enough with this information' I can't explain it myself
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Posted 8 days ago
They give you all of their money and never ask for it back.
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26 / M / Romania
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Posted 8 days ago
Trust nobody, sooner or later they all betray your trust.
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21 / F
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Posted 8 days ago
Lala tries to determine whether someone can be trusted based on their actions, and not their appearance or words. Psychopathic manipulators are masters of deception, and gain your trust through the use of vague wordery and guilt tripping.
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23 / F / North
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Posted 8 days ago
I don't trust anyone.

A person can tell me the sky is blue and I'll still go outside and check.
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 8 days ago
Trust is a decision. Cus otherwise id never trust anyone. Especially women.
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27 / M / Helsinki
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Posted 8 days ago
Trust in relationships means lowering your guard and therefore you're vulnerable and open to attacks. Trust is about belief and belief is essentially not knowing in a sense. There is certain redundancy in this but bear with me.

Internet communication is unrefined and, in most cases, leaves face to face interaction out of the equation. It is hard to read another person well without seeing their involuntary body language and ticks. Trust based on solely verbal communication is hard to achieve through action. Fact checking can only get you so far in personal relationships. Maybe I'm a schmuck but almost every time I'm positively surprised by the other individual on a personal level. It might be that I merely encounter decent people in those kinds of circumstances.

It might sound arrogant but I feel there is some kind of visible moral code or ideology that will help one determine whether a person in question is trustworthy. All this relates to objective reality and perception of it. Basically if one consistently lies to oneself ie. is not honest even to oneself in observation, emotions or mindset, there is no guarantee of any honesty or trustworthiness. However in order to realize any of this, you have to be able to tell fact from fiction and true from false. Otherwise it will be like the blind leading the blind which means people are at each other's mercy.

It goes without saying that master manipulators can definitely pull this kind of stunt off. Yet I think this kind of individual would really not get any satisfaction of out this route because they thrive on using the blind spots to be in full control. Each of us will have a certain set of these holes in our perception and it is no use of ridding yourself of them completely. The knack is to be aware of them and acknowledge that they exist at least.

This is at least one way to look at this problem of trust. Perceived actions & non-actions would indeed help but in the level of words, as we communicate in this forum, there is no reliable way to determine person's motives. Trust can be gained over time with repetitive patterns of reciprocal exchange of personal thoughts. Ironically only one bad word can ruin that progression.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 8 days ago , edited 8 days ago
There aren't any signs to trust someone, only signs to distrust someone. The longer one is around someone that does not demonstrate a reason to be distrusted--the more likely one is to starting trusting them. Trust is always a matter of making oneself vulnerable to another person.

Some people miss signs to distrust another.

Humms 
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24 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 7 days ago
When I can allow them into my home, or place of residence, and not have to worry.

Trust is about connection and judgement.

That's why soo many people trust me. One after another they tell me that to my face. Let's be clear here, when I'm not online and walking out in the real world I would go out of my way for people, because saying yes to the people I trust teaches me something, and saying no to people I don't trust teaches me something.

The value in doing something for the people you trust just shows people something, and in return they have shown me the same kindness

This dog doesn't bite unless you stab it in the back, or show lack of respect. I might say things that will make people feel uneasy, but telling the truth has a lot more meaning than trying to beat around the Bush. You can see me however you want to see me, because I am me, and you are you, and nobody can take that from us.
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Posted 7 days ago , edited 7 days ago
For me trust just comes with time, I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character. I have yet to come across any asses.
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Posted 7 days ago
In the words of Frodo Baggins, some people seem fairer and feel fouler...
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68 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 7 days ago
Many good answers above + you've answered your own question.

Every once in a while someone you trust will do something dumb, cause you to question your / their loyalty. Life is a crap shoot, a risk. People who have a track record of trust with you may let you down over time for reasons they really can't tell you. You can write 'em off over 1 failure or give them another chance. Knowing the number of chances to allow before pulling the pin when in a relationship / friendship is a learned skill. There is a fine line that exists between being judgemental, empathetic, door mat. Everyone's navigation through the eye of Life's trust needle will be different; hence, there is no definitive cookie cutter answer.

As Susan Jeffers suggested in a self-help book: Feel the fear and do it anyway.
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Posted 7 days ago , edited 7 days ago


the question is " do you trust people too easily?"

trust? when it comes to strangers?

come on.. don't be like those renters who are scammed out of thousands for some fake rental listing

there are similar cases

don't go around and accusing people of things you have no proof of but don't provide them personal information without making certain first

especially when it comes to money

when it comes to money-- let's face it -- most strangers are looking to scam you out of hard earned money

so no

i don't trust people-- that's for my family and close friends

but then again there are a certain level of trust as well

remember-- your best friend will be your greatest enemy

i've seen it before

husband/wife, best friends-- when turned enemies pretty much everything private about you are displayed for the world to see in some revenge scheme

the only way i'll trust a stranger is you provided me with sufficient id/documents where i can trace or send the cops after you.. then you will have the basic trust from me

if not forget it

"god as my witness"-- i heard this many times-- i don't know about you but i can not really call god to the stand when we ended up in court!

so paper and ink contract--- if there were witnesses-- now a day i prefer to have everything on video

most people have a smart phone now a day

take pictures/video and sync it to your cloud account so you have evidences just in case
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