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Post Reply Is it wrong to not want a long term relationship?
Posted 12/3/16 , edited 12/3/16
I wish I found more people who are interested in long-term relationships.

I'm tired of putting in so much effort for short-term ones.
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Posted 12/3/16
no its not wrong but you should let the other person know its only temporary.
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Posted 12/3/16

starshots wrote:

I wish I found more people who are interested in long-term relationships.

I'm tired of putting in so much effort for short-term ones.


You are looking in the wrong place them because most people i have met are interested in long-term relationships...personally who wouldn't be ?
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Posted 12/3/16

kevz_210 wrote:

As long as you and the other person talk about it and are on the same page then I see no problem.


I don't think there's any better way to explain it. That's exactly how i see it, too.
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Posted 12/3/16
Life is like a dance. Finding a dance partner can be hard.

Young people have so many choices, options re Life which is 1 reason many will choose not to commit. When I was in college the first time around I was astounded how many of my dorm room buddies were able to pair off (urge to merge) while the rest of us just didn't do well or fit in. Our destiny would be tied to career paths beyond graduation with the hope of finding "The One". Apparently, some in that college subset knew what they wanted; hopefully, they chose wisely. As for those of us that remained rejects, wallflowers, unfit....meh.

Temporary relationships: The danger can lie in finding someone you find very interesting (initially) who really doesn't know what they want. You can probe them with polite non-threatening questions all you dare and still arrive at no substantive conclusion. So, what would you do if it was today? Christmas is around the corner as is New Year's eve and who wants to suffer in silence mauldlin' through those overrated holidays in the company of One. You can take a risk in this scenario: go out for a coffee, go out do something casual together, call or text without becoming cloying or annoying, see if this individual has other endearing qualities besides the 2-second first glance chemistry. Do beware: their mindset and these activities could set you up as just being holiday filler. Come January 3rd or later (within 30 days) the synergy will evaporate and you will know, sadly, it's time to push the reset.

When you manage to get yourself dumped a few times you try to learn in advance which pairings will lead to a relationship and which will only go down the trail of dalliances. Filler time amounts to a dalliance, very short term. Do it often enough and you will develop a pattern. A potential partner can sense this right away and either choose to risk or flat out avoid meeting you beyond a coffee or phone conversation. You will need to really take stock of yourself, your dating habits if you want to break free from this type of holding pattern.

Or, kevz_210 gave good advice. Avoid setting yourself up as a filler. There are long-termers out there. You just have to find them.
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Posted 12/3/16

camay1997 wrote:

No it's not. Wrong would be staying in a relationship you no longer wished to be in


Yep, Or even worse, getting married and then realizing that you are in the wrong relationship after the fact.
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Posted 12/3/16

thekevin4 wrote:

Is it wrong to have opinions about certain things that may differ from the opinions of others?


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Posted 12/3/16

Sogno- wrote:


thekevin4 wrote:

Is it wrong to have opinions about certain things that may differ from the opinions of others?




Excellent... excellent.... let the thwip flow through you
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Posted 12/3/16 , edited 12/3/16
You mean like friends with benefits?

You see them on that day, and maybe go out for a bit, chill, have sex, then go on your way with both of you coming and going on good terms whenever you so desire.

I could be wrong though, I usually am anyways... don't listen to me

Posted 12/3/16
no
Ejanss 
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Posted 12/3/16

gornotck wrote:

If you think it's wrong, it's probably wrong.


Yes, but Q thinks EVERYTHING's wrong...
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Posted 12/3/16
too many 'Enjoy!!!' threads.
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Posted 12/3/16
No.

There is no set amount of time for how long a relationship lasts. There is no need to tell a person you want a short term relationship. If it ends up working out for a long period or short period then that's just how it is and you move on. I've dated girls before thinking I'd stay with them for a while and end up breaking up 4 weeks later. If it's short, it's short. If you want a friends with benefits kind of deal you just ask for it. If you'd like to just casually see each other then so be it.

There are people who have dated the same person since high school and moved on to late adult life just to divorce. There are people who are lovebirds at first sight who break up less than a week later.

There's really no wrong approach as long as your communicating and being honest with each other.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 12/3/16
It's not wrong as long as you tell your partner it won't be long term. Not telling them is just going to lead to problems.
Posted 12/3/16
idk

is it wrong to... try to pick up girls in a dungeon?

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