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Post Reply I'm not allowed to date or fall in love.
47703 cr points
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16
I've never dated nor should I experience such a thing. The ups and downs of love are just not my thing. So I forbid myself from dating anyone or falling in love. Some people might think it's wrong while others could care less. I'm just protecting myself from getting hurt and being happy. Why I do this? I have no clue. Nobody has told me that I shouldn't date. No, I've told myself that so that I won't have to experience love. I often times think about being in love but then it feels wrong. I don't know I guess I'm weirdo. But I just don't want to see me that happy. I already have issues that need to be addressed can't help it. No don't need a pity party nor do I want one. I just want some advice. Eventually, I do want to date but not until I get myself the way I want to be. My life is not glamorous and dating someone with the way my life is might be wrong. The advice I want is to get over this feeling of fear. Majority of it is just simple fear. And it's down right stupid to be afraid of something I've never tried to experience. I just don't want to let love change me. And being that happy doesn't seem fair. I'm rambling on with nonsense. Sorry for wasting your time.


Anyway. How do I get over the fear of dating?

11796 cr points
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 12/4/16
You could go on a date for starters. If you feel too nervous or whatever there are several resources to help you such as anxiety medication if you have that, depressants to help calm your nerves or if you're unsure what to do you can try getting a date coach. They help men and women like you with their dating life, generally following the philosophy of "be yourself but be the best possible version of yourself".
47703 cr points
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16

octorockandroll wrote:

You could go on a date for starters. If you feel too nervous or whatever there are several resources to help you such as anxiety medication if you have that, depressants to help calm your nerves or if you're unsure what to do you can try getting a date coach. They help men and women like you with their dating life, generally following the philosophy of "be yourself but be the best possible version of yourself".


This is me:

I have to lose a lot of weight
Have a job
Have a car
Be in school
Live on my own
Be independent
Have a successful life

In order to date someone. I have to do everything on the list and not one or two.
Posted 12/4/16
So it's not really a fear of dating, I think you mean you want to get your life together first before you date someone(?).
47703 cr points
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16

starshots wrote:

So it's not really a fear of dating, I think you mean you want to get your life together first before you date someone(?).


It's sorta both.
11796 cr points
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
Online
Posted 12/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


octorockandroll wrote:

You could go on a date for starters. If you feel too nervous or whatever there are several resources to help you such as anxiety medication if you have that, depressants to help calm your nerves or if you're unsure what to do you can try getting a date coach. They help men and women like you with their dating life, generally following the philosophy of "be yourself but be the best possible version of yourself".


This is me:

I have to lose a lot of weight
Have a job
Have a car
Be in school
Live on my own
Be independent
Have a successful life

In order to date someone. I have to do everything on the list and not one or two.



starshots wrote:

So it's not really a fear of dating, I think you mean you want to get your life together first before you date someone(?).



Starshots is right, it seems more like the limits to your dating life are all self imposes.
Posted 12/4/16

starshots wrote:

So it's not really a fear of dating, I think you mean you want to get your life together first before you date someone(?).


That's what i inferred from this. It's completely understandable, since they always say "You must love yourself before loving someone else", and if you still have plenty of things to address, then it might not be the right time. Then again, there is always something to improve on.
9848 cr points
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Posted 12/4/16
People in relationships don't know the sorrows of fleeting time and approaching death, or at least forget it.

Husband and Wife are originally birds of the same forest, but when death catches up with them they will suffer deep distress and anxiety. As their voices become silent and their vital energy ceases, the two become separated. Marriage thus seems short lived, like a bubble on water or frost on the grass, and you will look back on it in loneliness.

To love is to lose...eventually.

But memes...memes are forever
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16


I just don't want to disappoint someone and I am also picky too.

5596 cr points
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Posted 12/4/16
Find someone hot first.
47703 cr points
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16

HateKillingCamels wrote:

Find someone hot first.


I rather not date someone for their looks. That doesn't seem fair.
11796 cr points
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 12/4/16 , edited 12/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:



I just don't want to disappoint someone and I am also picky too.



Well I dont think anyone is going to be too disappointed with any of those things.
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16 , edited 12/4/16

octorockandroll wrote:

Well I dont think anyone is going to be too disappointed with any of those things. :sweatingbullets:



True. But obtaining all those things might be a little impossible.

11796 cr points
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 12/4/16 , edited 12/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

True. But obtaining all those things might be a little impossible.



Sorry I worded that really poorly. I meant to say that I doubt anyone will be too disappointed if you do t get those things done.
47703 cr points
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/4/16 , edited 12/4/16

octorockandroll wrote:

Sorry I worded that really poorly. I meant to say that I doubt anyone will be too disappointed if you do t get those things done.


No problems.


I should do fine with at least doing three of those things on that list, but I feel like doing all of them would make me feel better.
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