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Post Reply How do you increase your self confidence?
Jarexx 
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26 / M / Boston
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Posted 12/8/16
exercising/ accomplishing your goals can definitely boost your self confidence
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34 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 12/8/16
age helps. is i get older i recognize what im good at. im good at solving problems. im a good driver. you get the idea. still, in not very confident outside what i knkw well. socially, i suck. not sure what to tell hou, except do a few squats Nd push ups day. oddly that helps tk clear the mind and i can see myself more honestly, what im good at, what im not.
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22 / F / USA
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Posted 12/8/16
I've never really had any self-esteem or confidence issues. But if I had to give some advice:

Take care of yourself. Hygiene is important. Do some exercises. People have suggested a gym; I recommend a martial art like karate, judo, fencing, etc. as this helps both body but also builds a sort of inner strength and confidence.

Dress smartly and make a style for yourself. Take care of your appearance. What does your appearance say about you. There is another thread in this forum about what kind of clothes style you wear. You don't necessarily have to dress as everyone else. In fact you may not want to as to make yourself stand out from the crowd.

Stand up straight.

Walk with confidence, eyes ahead and with full steps.

Talk with confidence. Speak from the chest, not from the throat.

First impressions are important so you need to be mindful of what message your clothes and appearance are broadcasting. If you project confidence you will feel confident and people around you will give you more credence and attention, thus giving you more confidence, creating a sort of confidence feeding loop. Likewise if your project submission and unconfidence that will create a similar feedback loop of ignoring you.
mxdan 
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Posted 12/8/16 , edited 12/8/16
I had extremely low self esteem growing up. The only way to gain more confidence is to put yourself into situations that make you uncomfortable, but there is a limit. If you have fear that causes you to have panic attacks then pushing yourself into situations that are too big can have a negative impact on you.

How I did it? I started by working out and buying clothes that make me feel comfortable in front of people. I then started by doing things small that made me feel comfortable and started to build my way up. One way to do this: Pretend you are someone you aren't. If you pretend like you are the image of the person who embodies something you want you can start to incorporate mannerisms to your personality that will build up a little ego. And a little ego is not a bad thing at all.

Thing is, you need to get in the habit of not being complacent. There will never be a day were you wake up and have everything you want. But if you can teach yourself to enjoy the challenge and build on it everyday in someway you will wake up one day and realize you are a different person. Not because something changed in you, but because you made habits based on the assumption that you need to try to work at something.

Whatever you do! Don't run from a challenge. This is key. Running from something will put you back in that small headspace you hate. You need to get used to being uncomfortable if you want to change something.

Cheers friend! Hope it works out for you :)!
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Posted 12/8/16
Time and effort. Having conversations with people. Getting better at talking with them. Becoming well liked. Becoming independent from having to be liked. You know. Life stuff.
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Posted 12/9/16
u dont, its already there, everyone has it. The issue here is fear, fear of rejections, failures, etc. So the question that one should ask is "how do I overcome my fears?" Be humble and never ever compare yourself to other people. Do your best to bring happiness and joys to people around you. Learn how to laugh, smile, and talk, you don't need to talk much or less, but talk when you have to talk, and when you do talk, watch the your tones. People will appreciate you more for remaining silence and listen to what they have to say, and if you want to go for the extra yards, do what they ask with a positive attitude. There are many more things I could add to this, but all in all, my point here is be a positive person and go win peoples hearts. And when you have people support on your side, your fears seem nothing more than a piece of gum that you chewed on, and spit it back out when it doesn't benefit you anymore.
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Posted 12/9/16
I'll post a short post now without telling my life story

Pretty much as others have said, work hard, practice, keep trying, never give up, get results. By getting results and accomplishing things and winning at things, getting praise for things, getting recognition for things, that usually leads to confidence.

And whilst it's easier said than done, dont worry about what others think, learn to take constructive crittercism, dont be embarrassed to try things. etc
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Posted 12/9/16

LunaTakimoto wrote:

I've been wondering this for awhile... How do you increase your self confidence or self esteem?

I've never really had much confidence in anything I make. I've always scrapped things purely because I didn't know if they were good or bad. I can't tell what I make is good or bad at times. I've kinda increased my self confidence in doing some things that are considered to be good however I can't tell if its false praise or not. I've been trying to boost my self confidence mostly to be more confident when making things. I don't want to keep scrapping stuff based on just not having enough confidence with myself to make something good.

So what are some ways you increase your self confidence/self esteem if its possible?

Have you had issues with self confidence or self esteem?






Okay your first mistake is that you're relying on others to help boost your self confidence. Good and bad are subjective. My family thinks the drivel I write is great. Strangers tell me it's garbage. I trust the strangers and I'm thankful to them for being honest lol. What one person likes another may hate. We all want and need confirmation from others and while it's true that the majority rules (if you make something that a great majority of people like vs those who dislike it) then that can be considered a success. But failing is also a success. Just trying makes you successful

As for me in order to increase my self confidence I just had to pretend to have confidence and force myself to act like everybody else. Instead of looking at the ground I would meet people's eyes. Maybe not for long at first but I'd make myself do it. The same with talking to people. I'd hold my head up high and say whatever the hell I felt like saying. My brain will later try to convince me that I'm a moron and I'm not fooling anyone but it's too late for it to hold me back by then. Little by little I actually started gaining the confidence that I once had to pretend to have. I just kept doing it and now I can at least tread water. I still don't like huge crowds. I'm a major introvert but I can function at least. I can go anywhere I want and don't allow my fears to hold me back. If you don't have it then just fake it. Everybody and I mean everybody is shy at some point. Even the life of the party or the most popular kids at school. Everyone's a bit reserved when first meeting someone new. The difference between people with confidence vs those that don't have any is that they don't let that shyness hold them back. Quite the opposite. They go out of their way to dispel it and talk to people.

You don't really need others to make you more confident although it is nice to have others like you or what you do. If you're looking for a way to get started handling social situations I would suggest magic. Just grab a mirror. You don't need candles or anything although they do smell really nice. Any time of day or night is okay to perform the spell. Just take your mirror. Look in it and repeat these three magical words: "I Love You."

You'll be surprised how much power lies in those three words (the more you use them the more powerful they become) and I think they're the key to everything. Empathy, understanding, shyness, social situations. If you can learn to love yourself unconditionally then there's nothing you can't accomplish with others.

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Posted 12/9/16
Smoke trees and drink poison
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Posted 12/9/16
Sometimes, I'll pretend to be confident until it works. Like when I meet strangers, I take a deep breathe, put on a smile, and tell myself that I am a social butterfly. Fake it till you make it they say. It's something you have to do for yourself instead of relying on others to give you a boost. You'll be surprised at what you'll accomplish.
What also helped a lot was that I started working out regularly. Before, I would be a bit embarrassed going to the gym because seeing all these other lean and muscular people made me aware of my body. Then when I started getting serious about four months ago, I started seeing results. I'm still not at my goal but I know that I am making progress. It has made me love being active and I strive to eat healthy foods so I rarely go eat out anymore. Working on my image has definitely improved my self-esteem.
I've also accepted that even though I make mistakes, it's normal and there's nothing I can do about it because I can't change time of course. I don't even care anymore if I do something embarrassing in front of other strangers since most likely than not, I'll never see them again and the only one who will remember is me if I keep holding on to it.
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34 / M / So Cali, OC
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Posted 12/12/16
Not giving a fuck and knowing there is bigger problems in life than you're insignificant drama
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23 / M / Birmingham, UK
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Posted 12/12/16
Just gotta take a risk and show people, what ifs and doubts won't get you anywhere, try your best, show people, get honest feedback and keep going, you'll find along the way the confidence will come naturally, look at singers when they do their 1st performance, they sound a little weak and unsteady in the opening but as soon as they hear the applause and cheers they immediately start singing with confidence, that's what your aiming for and any honest negative comments can be used to improve yourself, what was wrong? why didn't it work? what could I do better?

p.s I'm very egotistical and therefore have too much confidence, I'd donate it if I could
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25 / M / Kanagahan, San Re...
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Posted 12/12/16
Watching Motivational Videos
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42 / M
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Posted 12/12/16 , edited 12/12/16

Yohannbear wrote:

Not giving a fuck and knowing there is bigger problems in life than you're insignificant drama


I agree but also disagree with you. While it's true there are bigger problems in this world I disagree that whatever "drama" or problems someone faces is insignificant. Sure they may seem that way when you compare them to the vast problems in our world but to that particular person who will only ever live their life that drama is real and major. It is not fair to compare people's drama and it belittles their life. Pain is pain. I don't buy into the notion that someone does not have a reason to be depressed because so and so has it much worse. One does NOT need a reason to be depressed. Some people simply "are". I get what you're saying and it's sort of true but one can never and should never dismiss what someone else is going through. Each person is the center of their own world and while that world does NOT revolve around them that is the world that they and they alone know. One can empathize their heart out but at the end of the day you can't truly feel someone else's pain. One's problems and joys should never be dismissed. Depression has taught me this much.
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Posted 12/12/16
Seems no one quoted Gurren Laggan. "Don't believe in yourself. Believe in Kamina, who believes in you.", I think it was.
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