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Post Reply Why do people seem to have big egos
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/17/16
I see it alot these days and i never get it how can someone not be critical of themselves and think they are the best and always right.

Imo it's an ugly trait and people who are driven by their ego are generally selfish people as someone who tries to do all he can for others i have never been able to understand it.

I mean everyone is selfish at some points even me but some people take it way to far.

Curious on peoples opinions on people like that we should never have big ego's and be ego driven i think we should be critical of ourselves and open to change and new ideas and helping others.
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24 / M / Wales, UK
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Posted 12/17/16
It sounds like you're conflating between "having a big ego" and "having grandiose delusions". If I believe I'm great, that's different from believing I'm always right, and much healthier.

Also;


Ryulightorb wrote:as someone who tries to do all he can for others


Sounds like something a narcissist would say.

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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 12/17/16 , edited 12/17/16

Rowan93 wrote:

It sounds like you're conflating between "having a big ego" and "having grandiose delusions". If I believe I'm great, that's different from believing I'm always right, and much healthier.

Also;


Ryulightorb wrote:as someone who tries to do all he can for others


Sounds like something a narcissist would say.




True i guess both are different and lol i'm far from a narcissist i think very little of myself actually i'm going through therapy at the moment because i have issues with depression and not loving or liking or thinking much of myself.

What i meant by that is i was raised personally by my parents to do what i can do to help others before myself.
I enjoy helping people ^^

tbh i can't understand those types of people either to believe ones self importance is more then the importance of others seems ..selfish ._.
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Posted 12/17/16
Some people are just better than every other person, like me.
mxdan 
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27 / M / A Husk.
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Posted 12/17/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

I see it alot these days and i never get it how can someone not be critical of themselves and think they are the best and always right.

Imo it's an ugly trait and people who are driven by their ego are generally selfish people as someone who tries to do all he can for others i have never been able to understand it.

I mean everyone is selfish at some points even me but some people take it way to far.

Curious on peoples opinions on people like that we should never have big ego's and be ego driven i think we should be critical of ourselves and open to change and new ideas and helping others.


Maybe it's a consequence of materialism. Then again, I just think it's people who want to feel important and desired. We've built a system that asks for it. Even for people who claim to be above it (religiously or artistically for instance) you find a level of ego involved as well. Sermons in front of congregations who talk like their interpretation of a bible is law. Artists who make music videos concentrating on the band as some sort of glorious entity that's trendy instead of focusing on artistic discovery and beauty.

The worst part is the materialists end up being the ones most glorified in our society. People don't want to focus on the things that go beyond childish lust.

The ego is simply a consequence of that fight for social and personal glory in my opinion.
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Posted 12/17/16
Because too many ppl are depressed and socially rejected, that's why. There are too many moody people for mental hospitals to handle.
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F / San Francisco
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Posted 12/17/16
When you have now two generations that were raised with participation trophies and constantly told that they're special snowflakes, this was bound to occur. American culture glorifies the brash, loud, spoiled and narcissistic. When was the last time you saw a TV show that highlighted the compassionate, self-sacrificing individuals there are in this country?
qwueri 
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Posted 12/17/16
People tend to talk with bravado on the internet and television. If there's even a hint of doubt, it gets seized on.
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Posted 12/17/16
Normal person:

"so I got a cool new job"

Dick:

"Haha my job is awesome now! I can afford this shiny new car on finance!" still living with your Mom though right?
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☆Land of sweets☆
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Posted 12/17/16

Akage-chan wrote:
When you have now two generations that were raised with participation trophies and constantly told that they're special snowflakes, this was bound to occur. American culture glorifies the brash, loud, spoiled and narcissistic. When was the last time you saw a TV show that highlighted the compassionate, self-sacrificing individuals there are in this country?


to add to to the above, in the US, high school grads applying for college need to write a paper glorifying themselves, putting themselves on a pedestal above other candidates. this has been the norm for pretty much ever.
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30 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 12/17/16 , edited 12/17/16
It's only arrogance if it's unjustified mate. Saying you're the fastest man on Earth for example and being able to prove it via an certifiable Olympic record and a gold medal isn't egotistical. It's merely taking pride in one's accomplishment . Is the man in this example suppose to be humble simply to please your sensibilities? If you think so perhaps you should grow thicker skin and stop expecting everyone to miserable and unhappy about the hard work they put into their skills and accomplishments.
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19 / F / Everywhere
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Posted 12/17/16
Psychologically, a person is likely to develop narcicissm as a defense mechanism in childhood if they weren't given all the attention and praise they needed. Putting themselves above others was a good way to overcome the lack of gratification and be successful in childhood, though it doesn't work well in adulthood and often results in a big ego. However, this is just the actual disorder, not actions that people label as "narcicisstic" or "egoistic."
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M / Chattanooga, Tenn...
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Posted 12/17/16
Because they are hiding just how weak they actually are. Smokescreen
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30 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 12/17/16

FruitPunchSamurai987 wrote:

Psychologically, a person is likely to develop narcissism as a defence mechanism in childhood if they weren't given all the attention and praise they needed. Putting themselves above others was a good way to overcome the lack of gratification and be successful in childhood, though it doesn't work well in adulthood and often results in a big ego. However, this is just the actual disorder, not actions that people label as "narcissistic" or "egoistic."


Perhaps and perhaps not mate. I'd argue you eventually have to put yourself above others even if it is only subconsciously if you wish to excel past and above them. Humility is a virtue but so is Pride and without Pride most people lose the desire to achieve anything more then the bare minimum. And frankly I believe there to be far to many people doing that.

Should one lord it over the people they've gone past, arguably not. But I personally would prefer a accomplished jerk to a person pretending to be a Saint of humility because they've given up Pride and it's negative aspects to chase a life of uselessness. And while one can conceivably be both humble and accomplished it is a rare gift.
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23 / M / Birmingham, UK
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Posted 12/17/16
I have an ego, quite a big one but I still put others before myself, call it excessive self confidence, I believe myself to be a God but nothing says a God can't be kind and help those around him
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