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Post Reply How do you guys/girls cope with your loneliness?
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Posted 12/23/16
go and night ride
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Posted 12/23/16
I'm trying to get really good at drawing. I want to be able to create original characters and webcomics someday. If I'm able to do that, I think those characters I create, those figments of my imagination realized, can act as substitutes for friends. But until then just the process of practicing and gradually improving at something makes me feel far more fulfilled than my interactions with people.


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F / Da UK
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Posted 12/24/16
hobby... (learning japanese and art)
eating....
sleep....
procrastinating...
crunchyroll...
anime....
study.....

thats how
Posted 4/1/17
i dont get lonely
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28 / M
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Posted 4/1/17
I look for friends, and I look for lovers. Online games help me to escape reality a bit. Going to the gym numbs me a bit, though seeing lovey dovey couples, people with kids and good friends messing and joking around causes painful jealousy. Same with facebook, seeing all the people I once knew married, while I sit there scratching my head amazed at how pathetic I am and how I am at the point where I can only experience these things through the posts of others. There is no coping, just more days of getting up and flashing robotic smiles for my neighbors.
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32 / M / USA
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Posted 4/1/17 , edited 4/1/17
Hold my baby!
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31 / M
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Posted 4/1/17 , edited 5/31/17
I read Buddhist sutras and practice some limited meditation. That makes me happier than anything else.

Here are my coping mechanisms for the rest of the day when I have to be doing something else and just need a break: reading Crunchyroll forums, reading the news, and listening to music. I've stopped watching anime and just come here to read what people write.
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Posted 4/1/17
Murdering innocents for my satanic rituals! Satan still hasn't answered back yet

Jk I just play video games and laugh at shit memes all day. That and I collect bottle caps.
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Where?
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Posted 4/1/17
Ride my wheelies to escape my feelies
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21 / F
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Posted 4/1/17
Having someone or something to take care of really helps, whether it's a pet or plant, but you must be responsible enough to meet all of its needs.
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25 / M
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Posted 4/1/17
For me hobbies were enough for awhile, then became not enough only until i started to excel withing those hobbies.
For example, Bowling is one of my hobbies, after awhile league became meh so tournaments upped the excitement from it and aided in keeping my mind off being alone.
Drawing is another, going from traditional to digital boosted that, also playing around with 3d modeling and modding fonts or outfits for tera/skyrim helped as well.

So in short, treat your life as a tree, and hobbies as branches, fill those branches with leaves and loneliness will just be a breeze in the back of your mind


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25 / F
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Posted 4/1/17
Spend most of my time at work talking to coworkers seeing about their days and friends on rotation
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26 / M / Seattle, WA, USA
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Posted 4/2/17
I bury myself in videogames the second I get home every day
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28 / F
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Posted 4/2/17 , edited 4/2/17

TheLandOfGiants wrote:

I'm pretty much regurgitating what others have already said, but I found it is very effective to develop a hobby. But, don't just simply have a hobby, develop your hobby! It's nice to have something you can be proud of! Plus, it may give you the chance to meet people with similar hobbies.

If all else fails, however, you can always follow the advice of our lord and savior "jesusisfriend" and get yourself a warm and fuzzy critter to fill the empty void lol.


I definitely agree with this.

At the same time, between giving up a longtime hobby and leaving a career, it's so easy to feel lost without and start wondering where "my people" really are.

When you spend years on something it becomes like a part of you, but people never stay the same.
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Posted 4/2/17
I've been dealing with this a lot lately. I moved from my home town to the city on my own. I know no one, have no friends or family here. It's been rough, but I'm pretty used to my own company now. I do still get pangs of wanting to interact with people. In those moments I do everything I can to see people where possible. Here are a few tips.

Choose a hobby that is also sociable. Like a reading club, boxing or MMA or whatever interests you, there are regular D&D nights in my city, and Magic the Gathering nights too. If they have meetups for said thing, go for that. Dating is another thing. If you can use dating apps to set up dates (or even your own charm IRL) not only could they lead to sex and love, but also friendships. Some people use these sites only to find friends (but I don't think they're very successful tbh). Go places on your own, like gigs or events. Look friendly and be prepared to talk to anyone. I've met a lot of people doing this kind of thing. Looking friendly is key though, if you look like a murderer, don't be surprised if people avoid you. So far I'm still waiting on making any meaningful friends. But I have met a lot of people with these methods and have staved off loneliness more than once. I think if employed properly, there's no reason why any of the above couldn't get you friends etc.

Hope that helps
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42 / M
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Posted 4/2/17 , edited 5/31/17
Embrace it. Seriously. I'm a huge introvert so being alone is not a bad thing for me. I prefer to be alone. One just has to weigh the pro's and the con's. Some of the positive things of being alone are:

1. No BS....ever. I don't have to worry about drama.
2. I get plenty of time for myself
3. I have plenty of time to improve myself. I have a lot of baggage and it's simply not fair to give that baggage to someone else....at least not this much.
4. I can play video games all night if I want to. I don't. I am an insomniac who keeps a tight schedule when it comes to sleep. You have to be disciplined with your sleep when you have insomnia but the point is I could play games all night if I chose to lol.
5. I can do what I want when I want. In the Immortal words of Cartman: "I do what I want!"
6. Really, there's no end to this list so I'll just stop here.

Negatives of being alone.
1. Uhm, yeah, there really aren't any for me because I am never lonely unless I want to be. I always have the option of going somewhere and mingling with people.

Are you alone because you want to be? Loneliness is a whole different ball game when it's a choice. If it's not a choice then why be alone? When I was younger I did a lot of drugs and the ONLY good choice I made back then was to not take anyone else down with me so I avoided relationships like the plague. Even after I got sober I still chose to stay alone and to try and better myself. It's just really hard to care about others when you don't know how to care about yourself. Still working on that one but if you don't want to be alone then why be lonely? Is it because you're shy or have anxiety or something like that because those can be dealt with. Even without professional help there are things you can do. The most important thing is just to force yourself to do it. If you have no confidence then just fake it and pretend like you do. I promise that EVERYONE is a little bit shy of new people the first time they meet them. You're not alone in that. And that evil little voice in your head that tells you that you're not fooling anyone and that you're a freak is completely wrong. It's the freak, not you. That's assuming you have that particular little voice which you may not. Manic depressives and those with mental illness will understand. Don't listen to that a-hole. Of course there's many many other reasons someone may be lonely and may not be able to socialize and I'd be here all day if I tried to get into them all. Loneliness isn't necessarily a bad thing unless you let it be. It's really up to you (medical reasons don't count here, at least as far as my advice goes. Obviously such as if you're bedridden or immobile or something - that's a whole different scenario. It's still loneliness though so one might benefit from someone else's answers. I just have no experience with such a situation).
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