First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Post Reply A discussion about two faced people.
Bavalt 
22125 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Canada
Online
Posted 12/24/16
I think the chief misunderstanding here is that people are thinking for some reason that a negative opinion cancels out a positive one. I've talked about friends' faults with other friends while they weren't around, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if they ragged on me while I was out of earshot too. But the fact of the matter is that we're all still friends. We hang out together because we genuinely like one another. You don't have to consider a person to be flawless to like them, and there's no inherent value in bringing up a personal subject that would kill the mood, especially when the person in question is most likely already aware of that flaw and might be sensitive about it.

Obviously, there are people out there who do befriend others in the name of an agenda (and those people are toxic), and there are relationships you'll be forced into (mostly by work) that will consist mostly of pretending to tolerate one another. But equating those extreme scenarios with mundane, benign gossiping is far from fair. Even worse is connecting them to the basic multifaceted nature of a person, which has nothing to do with deceit.
14091 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / M
Offline
Posted 12/24/16


welp, 2 faces on 1 head dont look too good
would prob look better if they get their heads split in 2
213 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
17 / M / Arizona
Offline
Posted 12/24/16
Well, obviously manipulation isn't ok, and neither is using someone, however there's a stark difference between being "two-faced" and purposely putting up a facade to later take advantage of you. I don't like the term "two-faced" generally because realistically, all people are "two-faced" and they have a lot more than two "faces." No person on this planet is entirely uniform in the way they act, and what they say and believe around everyone they meet. People have different sides, and they can have differing views that change and evolve, all people are entitled to that, so to rat on someone for that, is almost like ratting on someone for being human. Furthermore, people are entitled to hide their views around people they don't want knowing said views, realistically, everyone hides what they're really like, and no one besides them will know who they really are, unless they tell someone, and even then we have to just assume they aren't lying.

Also, people's views change over time, people form new opinions after seeing new stuff, this is natural. Everyone has many, many "faces." We all change what we show around different people, and the real us isn't just one of those "faces" it's a collection of all of them. Furthermore, people are entitled to that basic privacy, so to rat on someone for their humanity, because you got hurt, really isn't ok.

Now, this means that everyone you meet is going to have sides you don't know, probably even sides you'll never ever know, so if you see someone's "uglier" side, you're gonna have to choose if you really want to continue your bond with that person, and of course everyone's entitled to that as well, but I can't see it as ok to antagonize someone just for having many sides, since all people do.

Now, all this being said, it's not ok to put up a facade, knowing its false, and doing it purposely to take advantage of someone, that's obviously not ok, but its hard to see if that's actually what someone did. I guess the biggest thing, is you have to ask yourself, even if you get hurt from someone's natural humanity (being able to have many sides), were they really meaning to take advantage of you and hurt you, or was it something else? Obviously, you have the right to choose whether or not to continue your friendships, but it might be wise to see what really happened, rather than letting emotion take the wheel.

Posted 12/26/16
Never dealt with anyone like that before, to be honest
27671 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M
Offline
Posted 12/26/16 , edited 12/26/16
Yeah. If I see them be two face and they know I see them I'll give them a look. But that's it. Next time they come to me I won't give them any of my time.
Banned
371 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / M
Offline
Posted 12/26/16

LunaTakimoto wrote:

Have you ever had an experience with a two faced person?

I run into two faced people quite often and its quite annoying and causes a dismal or sorrowful feeling at times.

I can understand some situations where being two faced is useful however I find it quite irritating when people are two faced and talk behind my back about me..

Now... let's say you're in this situation.

You find out that everyone around you is two faced. They all are trying to talk behind your back but for some unknown reason you're able to hear in and not be detected. These people you've "known" for 1-3 years and consider them good friends. After hearing them talk behind your back about you what do you do? How would you feel if you found out everyone you knew pretty much was a fake personality that they were using to use you?



Maybe I'm cynical/pessimistic, but I think most people are kinda like that. Human nature, I guess. Of course I'm talking from my own experience. In my opinion, it's REALLY hard to find truly good, high integrity people in this world, but when you do find them, you see it was worth the wait. Real, true friends are far a few. There was a greek or roman philosopher who said "If you have a lot of friends, then you really have non." I find that to be so true in my life. I let go of a lot of fake ass people, and a lot of fake ass people let go of me. If I didn't take out the trash, the trash just took it self out, so I won no matter what lol. I have much fewer friends these days, but the quality is MUCH greater then ever, and the quality is what counts. Honestly, people in general in my opinion are pretty overrated, and won't really bring much value to your life, other then a headache. Be best friends with yourself first, then other friends are just icing on the cake, and you won't really give a shit about backstabbing assholes who call themselves your friends.
First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.