Post Reply Two Fruits too Long for this World
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24 / M / California
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Posted 12/28/16 , edited 12/28/16

In general, fruit is the best. Every droop, berry, and other technical bullshit class of fruit was a popping vessel of sugars and creams that I could eat in metric tons without feeling gross. Most of them, even durians hold pleasant surprises under their spiky hides. They taste like funyons dipped in banana pudding, but there are two fruits in this world that have no pleasantries in their flesh. They hold life's decay and disgust under the guise of being shaped like giant, sugary plant ovaries, and they deserve neither us or the soil they suck.

It starts with Papaya. I only ever saw it as an emerald-wrapped squash until the summer of 2010. I thought it would be pink on the inside, but it's just a warm shade of orange. The first handful seemed no sweeter than cantaloupe. Then the slight sweetness of the first bite though collapsed into what I could only describe as cane sugar and hangover breath. It didn't sit on the tongue either. The flavor of saccharine vomit crept up the walls of my throat. It poisoned every breath I took in with its acrid aroma. My only respite was to shovel pineapple into my mouth until my tongue bled.

It is such a vividly vile fruit, I can still feel the half eaten flesh of it race down my throat to become a part of myself. It may look good outside and in with it's friendly shape and golden heart, but once you really get to understand Papaya, when you've experienced the things it does once it's in you, you know that it was all a lie. It's a filthy traitor of a fruit, carrying pain and the taste of a lost lunch in its tarnished flesh. It's a hatred that will live on longer than the fruit and longer than me as it awaits other unsuspecting victims to dare to try it.

I'll never forget Papaya's sins, but I can't even remember the last time I ate honeydew. I don't think anyone can. The last time there was fruit salad at whatever social event you went to is probably the most recent run-in you had with honeydew. You don't remember eating it though. In a bowl full of strawberries, glistening jewels of pineapple, and humble yet tasty cherries, there are chunks of cream soda colored cantaloupe. Its sad anemic friend is also there. It doesn't even look finished as a fruit.

Even green apples have the common decency to bear a crisp milky flesh. Honeydew just looks unripe to the core, and it might as well be. It doesn't taste like anything unless it brushed up against a pineapple. I don't even touch the stuff unless I go for a handful of cantaloupe and accidentally scrape up some pieces of its garbage cousin. Even then, the only time I notice that honeydew slithered its way in is when I bite into a cube of disappointment as its golden cousin gets mashed into a paste.

Is honeydew even trying? How hard is it to just be as good as cantaloupe? That's not even a high mark to hit. Cantaloupe is only bought when watermelon goes out of season anyway. Why do we have to suffer through eating the substitute of the substitute when it's just dragging down the fruit salad's flavor profile? I would rather have papaya than honeydew. At least then I would remember the taste of strawberries and hot garbage, but no, we have spent decades with this forgettable sphere of green water tagging along to every event cantaloupe gets to go to.

We can keep papaya. It's earned its place for being so uniquely revolting, but honeydew? I just want it to fade to nothing like the bland garbage it is. Social events and grocery stores will be better off without it.
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Posted 12/28/16 , edited 12/28/16
Didn't read but I like grapes.
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19 / F / Philippines
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Posted 12/28/16 , edited 12/28/16
brooo papaya is best with condensed milk o vo i love papaya <3 <3
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38 / F / Seireitei, Soul S...
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Posted 12/28/16
Um, what? I love dried papaya and I prefer Honeydew melon over cantaloupe. Cantaloupe always tastes and feels slimy to me, even when it's not overripe. Honeydew always tastes and feels crisp to me, and it tastes sweeter to me than cantaloupe does. Of course, my favorite fruit of all is strawberries and I prefer the berry family for fruit over anything else.
Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
Have you tried spicy papaya salad? It's really good.
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69 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
Rocky Ford (Colorado) Cantaloupe..........there is a God after all. Wonderful taste. Goes well with vanilla ice cream (or it did when I was 12)

Apples: love Honeycrisp (bring $$, so expensive), Tango...from Michigan (blend of Honeycrisp and another variety apple without high cost / lb), Fuji, Galas. Haven't sampled Golden Delicious apples in years. Apples are good in salads, can offset something spicy Also tasty as stand alones......sure beats candy.

Avocado is the 1 I don't understand. No flavor, taste whatsoever. Even in a salad it just seems to be a mash mush test for the teeth and tongue, nothing more than a big waste of culinary time.
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
I can understand. Ripe papayas have an unpleasant smell. Many people don't like durians, but they smell good to me. My family often makes green papaya salad with beef jerky.



bemused_Bohemian wrote:
Avocado is the 1 I don't understand. No flavor, taste whatsoever. Even in a salad it just seems to be a mash mush test for the teeth and tongue, nothing more than a big waste of culinary time.


I usually blend them with condensed milk and make smoothie.

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28 / F / SC
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
i prefer cantaloupe over watermelon
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
I took a disliking for papaya/paw paw since childhood. We had a tree in our grandparents' back garden but never ate anything from it because the slugs always got there first.

It took me many years before I'd try honey dew melon, cantaloupe melon, gala melon etc. I have a mild allergy to fresh raw pineapple so I avoid it as much as possible. It makes my mouth itchy/tingly. It seems cooking neutralises the allergen. I have the same problem with kiwi fruit. My favourite fruit is mango. Not any old mango will do though. Some of the mass produced ones have no flavour, they're just sugar water and not worth my time buying. The ones I can get here that taste great come from the India region. I'm still missing Caribbean mangoes.
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
I'd rather have it than a fruit that's not long for this world.
(Which the bananas tend to be after six or seven days...)
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
I remember eating papaya, and thinking it tasted and smelled like it was rotting - it wasn't though. It was fresh. As for honeydew melon? You must have eaten a "just got ripe" melon. Honeydew melons have a real nice sweet flavor that really is different from what cantaloupe melon tastes like.

Even cantaloupe tastes different when comparing its "just got ripe" state, to its "fully ripened" state.

Same thing with mangoes. A "just got ripe" mango has a different taste and texture than a "fully ripened" mango. Oh, and bananas, too.
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23 / M / Spokane, Washingt...
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Posted 12/29/16 , edited 12/29/16
And on the complete other end of the fruits is Hawaiian grown mangoes. The stuff is as dangerous as fey food, for one bite will make everything else taste like ash. (and thus cause starvation or something.)

OK, slight exaggeration, but I have not eaten more then a couple of bites of mango since 2006, when my uncle smuggled some from Hawaii. Ever since then, store bought mango takes like sour sandpaper. (also don't help I live too far north for any chance of homegrown mango:I)

Also your doing papaya wrong.

What your meant to do is for it; and some guava to get a little overripe, then toss them like snowballs. Firm enough to feel solid, but soft enough to not bruise. Best done if you grow your own, since store bought gets really expensive. Also don't stain as bad as tomato.
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