Post Reply What do you do when asking for advice?
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17 / F
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Posted 1/1/17
This is a bit of a weird question however... what do you do when asking for advice?

Say for example, you're depressed over something and you want to ask for advice on things to cheer you up because you're unsure on what to do at that moment.

Most of the time I keep to myself however, I do ask for advice on some things I'm unsure of at times. I ask people I somewhat trust most of the time for obvious reasons. However, most of the time I'm not very direct as I leave hints behind hoping they'll pick up as I find it uncomfortable to be direct sometimes.

So what do you do when asking for advice?

How would you go about asking for advice? Would you be direct? Would you wait for them to pick up on a hint? Would you just give up and not ask it at all?


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28 / M / Helsinki
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Posted 1/1/17
Direct way would be best. Most people are after all very understanding and respond well to honesty unless there is some kind of negative history between the two persons who interact. I'm not very experienced in asking people because I usually try to figure things out myself. Framing your question might be needed at times depending on the context and the problem the advice is needed. That is if you want to protect your image in front of other people and you are not willing to let your guard down.
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34 / M
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Posted 1/1/17
A few things:

1. Hints are stupid. The people who are the most qualified to answer your question won't get them or will ignore them. If you trust them, cut the crap and skip to the end; everyone wins.
2. "When there's doubt, there is no doubt." You typically already know the answer, but wish you didn't.
3. Why are you asking for advice? Do you not know the answer or are you looking for approval?
4. An internet forum, or any form of social media, is a bad place to ask for advice. See numbers 2 & 3. Sorry kiddo, it's just the way life is. I suggest finding someone you trust and venting or write it down/start a blog.
Posted 1/2/17
I ask them normally.
NSFW umm I make it clear you die if you make it public knowledge what I am asking you.
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F / ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ʜᴇʀᴏ
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Posted 1/2/17

Normally I'm very direct and blunt as we all should be else we're just wasting time, however, when it comes to certain people and situations I can't help drop hints hoping they'll get the picture and get on the same page.. although that doesn't always end well as it may lead to my own feelings getting hurt - disappointed or embarrassed.

If you're depressed you should honestly just be blunt and be open as possible as you're already suffering and shouldn't be playing anymore games with your emotions or what have you.

If something is depressing you and someone is able to help you then why wouldn't you reach out? Even if they aren't willing the alternative is staying depressed, no? So you're not losing anything by asking. Ask.

If you don't get positive feedback then just look for answers elsewhere, although from my experience the best answers come from within.
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27 / M / England
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Posted 1/2/17
I would be as direct as possible because I'm awful at being subtle and dropping hints but I would probably spend a couple of minutes thinking about how exactly I'm going to approach the situation and what I'm going to say just because it makes me feel a little more comfortable with everything.

Chances are you'll be asking someone close to you for the advice so you might as well be as blunt as possible because if even they can't help directly I'm sure they'll be able to help in some other capacity or at least I would.
Posted 1/2/17 , edited 1/2/17
If you want to ask someone something, then ask. If they are a dick about it cross them off your list of people to ask for the next time. Life is too short to drop hints and hope that someone will get what you are trying to ask.
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M / Hawaii
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Posted 1/2/17
A lot of people are dense and will not pick up on a hint. Family might pick on a hint because they have know you for decades. Don't go to friends because of the biases that they have. Find someone who has wisdom and ask a direct question.
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28 / F / SC
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Posted 1/2/17
i dont

i just screw everything up without any help
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π / Train / Railyard
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Posted 1/2/17
Directly. I go and ask the person who I know will tell me what I want to hear.
I don't think hints are the way to go. Think if you're the one being asked, would you like getting weird hints or would you rather hear the question directly?
Humms 
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 1/2/17
I rarely ask for advice, I rarely ask for any help.

I've been like that my whole life. I like to work alone, because most people just don't understand the way I do things.

I was always like this, just listen and figure it out.

Don't get me wrong, I'll always go up to my parents, or older friends, and just ask them what they know, what they have learned. I make eye contact, I listen, I use that information. I'm a sponge.

Lately I've been too busy creating my own information. I never liked doing it from another person's perspective. Maybe I enjoy to visualize someone's work as something meaningful, but I would never base my own projects, or work to be compared. I stand alone with my own morals, this is my way, this is how I want to do it, if you want to give me some helpful advice, go for it. I can listen to someone talk for hours, but when the pencil hits the paper, get away from me just go stand in the corner or something

It might take longer than normal, but I know this is my own blood sweat and tears.
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26 / M / Kanagahan, San Re...
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Posted 1/2/17
Begging
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∞ / AI / Cyberspace
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Posted 1/2/17 , edited 1/2/17
The only things I ask for advice on are technical things I don't know about, such as asking every single slightly tech savvy person any question I could think of before building my PC. I just straight up shoot them a question and that's it.

I generally don't listen to advice to begin with, because it usually is something generic and unfitting for me anyway. I'm too special of a snowflake to be able to heed any normals' advice.
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23 / M / Germany
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Posted 1/6/17
I actually don't ask for advice.
Not that I am someone who doesn't accept help or anything, but I am more of a person, who doesn't like to share all his problems with other people and deal with them myself.
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Posted 1/6/17
I don't remember asking for advice about personal problems. I usually just keep them to myself. If about the future, however, or any things I don't know about, I'll just ask the person directly o.o"
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