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Why do people think that loners or introverts are weird or freaks?
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38 / M / So. Cal
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
People project their own insecurities on to loners. Like, "Why doesn't this person want to talk to me? Am I annoying? Loud? Does my breath stink? Most people love talking to me. They think I'm funny, smart and charming. so the only reason they could not want to talk to me is I've angered or offended them" And when they ask about said loner in a group, the rest of the group may share the same opinion. Leading them to conclude there's something "wrong" with the loner.
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30 / M
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
Fuck what others think. I guess my introversion goes full circle to extroversion sometimes. An extroverted introvert? Maybe I'm an introverted extrovert?

The kinds of people that talk shit about introverts simply because they are introverts are usually low life, low class people who's lives suck and therefore need to take their aggression out on others. You have a conversation with such people and it's usually something of no depth, or shallow. I've said something similar before, but if I was the only introvert on earth, then I really wouldn't give a shit if all I had was my self, because it's better to be true to myself, than to have a bunch of fake friends that don't really get me, and I don't really care for the shallow shit they are into, like baseball or something. I'm pretty happy with just my self for the most part, but then again, I don't really like people generally anyway, so...
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F / Rabbit House cafe
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
i like being alone and doing my own thing, but i get called out on it from ones close to me that i'm just a hermit and i never want to go out, but i enjoy being home and doing stuff that i want to do. plus dealing with people is exhausting
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25 / M / Abyss
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17

mxdan wrote:

I honestly think this is more of an American problem. Having visited many western countries I can honestly say Americans are louder in general. I think we glorify individualism and personality to the point of it being a bit of an extreme. A lot of people don't like American tourists because of how used to outwardness we are. It's not a bad thing, it's just, unique.


It is definitely an American thing. We are often seen as overly friendly and overly boisterous. I think of when I lived in Germany to the USA. Americans small talk a lot. Random strangers, friends... Americans will small talk with a smile. A lot of my German friends see that as incredibly fake of the person. The American just seems to fake... the smile is hollow. I tend to see it a lot.

I have been to most places in western Europe and northern Europe as well as Russia for a few days. Americans make the most small talk out of all those I have been. This all being said, with how outgoing and small-talkish we are... it makes those who do not do it stand out more. My German friend is often seen as rude in the USA (as US citizens also think of Germans as rude a lot, common stereotype). He doesn't smile when a stranger says hi, asks how his day is, etc. It throws a lot of people off.

I had to learn how to be an "American" in this term when I moved from Germany to the USA. It leads to a lot of issues now. I often ramble on trying to fit the small talk stereotype. This makes me look like a clumsy af extrovert. I still prefer not to talk... but being forced to learn how to kinda fucked me up in this regard.

TL;DR. You are right. I have lived in EU and NA and seen a lot of the world. Having to learn to small talk like Americans also fucked me up in the long run.
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
Most people are social, and surround themselves with like people. When they encounter someone who is not only outside of their social group, but not part of any social group at all, they think something's wrong with them. It's a stupid viewpoint to have (I'm about as non-social as you can get), but that's probably the main reason.
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22 / F
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
We don't. I think most people can find introverts to be rude and unnecessarily inconsiderate, but most cases it's the opposite: We know you're uncomfortable or disinterested in socializing, so we don't want to be bothersome and thus distance ourselves. If someone doesn't look comfortable talking or sharing we just shrug and go on with our day, no offense taken. I've never heard anyone outside of high school bad mouth anyone for being introverted, usually if they comment at all on it they just say one of the two scenarios above. Dw if you're introverted, no one is out to get you for it ^.^
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22 / M / america
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
yeah theres moments i like to be alone then everyone thinks somethings wrong nope nothings wrong sometimes i just like peace and quiet to myself
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24 / M / Spokane, Washingt...
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Posted 1/14/17 , edited 1/15/17
I don't understand, nor do I care to understand. As long as they are respectful enough to leave me alone (on unimportant topics) unless I want to talk to them, I couldn't care. They aren't me.

Do talk to me on unimportant topics I don't care about when I'm not in a people person mood, and I'll just go, "ya, uh huh. right." until you go away, I walk away, or I snap. Only snapped at one person in recent years, but by god was she thick skull-ed! Not even telling it straight in her face that I don't want to ever want to interact with her again got though...

I may have few friends, but all of them are awesome. Also enough variety so I'm not drowning in like minded otaku. (do need more guy friends. Only got 2. 1 is crazy, the other is vowing off all the stuff I like because he is marrying a Mormon lass.)
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29 / M
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17
Honestly there are still guides for hiring managers to "look out for introverts" and I've heard of some cases where it's even been asked during a work interview: "Are you introverted?"

It is indeed still a widespread issue.

A big part of it though is just how the human psyche works. A common similar experience is in the classroom. Teachers are always trying to get their students to "speak in class" or answer out loud. A lot of people totally break down when they're not able to interact with their environment. Even otherwise healthy physical adults may never develop mature defense mechanisms or be psychologically independent.
Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17
I think you've answered your own question when you've repeatedly indicated that introversion is less common than extraversion. The majority of people aren't introverts, much less, loners, therefore it is quite abnormal. Whether or not introversion and anti-socialism are "bad" is one thing, but let's face it; they're not the norm. Plus, we sort of got this make-shift rivalry thing going on between introversion and extraversion, which seems to make things worse, to be honest. The whole thing only serves to polish ridiculous caricatures of both introversion and extraversion.
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27 / F / NJ, United States
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17
Because the minority of the group, who may stand out in a negative way usually pop out more than the majority of the group who may just be introverts who enjoy being loners, or staying at home, etc. It happens in every group. For example, in religions the extremists get the most attention, giving the rest of the people who follow it a bad name or a bad rep.
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17

aeb0717 wrote:

I think you've answered your own question when you've repeatedly indicated that introversion is less common than extraversion. The majority of people aren't introverts, much less, loners, therefore it is quite abnormal. Whether or not introversion and anti-socialism are "bad" is one thing, but let's face it; they're not the norm. Plus, we sort of got this make-shift rivalry thing going on between introversion and extraversion, which seems to make things worse, to be honest. The whole thing only serves to polish ridiculous caricatures of both introversion and extraversion.


I did? I'm sorry about that.
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23 / M / Germany
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17
People tend to fear the things they know nothing of
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UK
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17
We don't really know how many introverts and extroverts there are so it's impossible to say that introverts are the minority. There could be just the same amount of each it's just that extroverts are easily noticed and in certain environments desired.
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27 / M / USA
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Posted 1/15/17 , edited 1/15/17

tkayt wrote:

We don't really know how many introverts and extroverts there are so it's impossible to say that introverts are the minority. There could be just the same amount of each it's just that extroverts are easily noticed and in certain environments desired.


You make a really good point. Practically by definition it's harder to identify an introvert. As a lot of the people in this thread have pointed out, extroversion is better regarded in the United States, where I'm from. However, now that I've given it some point, because the norm is extroversion, it could be that many introverts have to train themselves to at least appear extroverted (such as myself and my dad).
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