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Do you dislike yourself?
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27 / M / USA
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Posted 1/19/17
Hmmm. Overall, I think I like myself quite a bit. However, there are parts of me I definitely don't like.

Working on making those parts into something I will like, though. lol
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Posted 1/20/17 , edited 1/20/17

eu7eka wrote:



You know what, I think I can sympathize with what you are saying. For me, it's as if I know how to improve myself and what steps to take to become the person I want to be, but I don't take those steps out of fear of what others think of me or how they will feel about me. And when I try to "fake it 'til I make it", I feel it's too much effort to be sociable, or to step out of my shell. But then when I don't, or when I try to but don't succeed in for example a social interaction, I'm reminded of why I don't try in the first place - and that is because I'm reminded of my loneliness. It's an overwhelming loneliness that brings me to tears, feeling like I cannot fit in or get along with others the way I would like. In short, having no friends sucks, and even more is the seeming inability to make friends and lasting connections. I've always just chosen the path of loneliness, being alone. Choose it and accept it halfway, but there is a part of me that thinks that is pathetic. And that's why I don't like myself. I care too much about what others think of me - whether I'm nice or friendly, approachable - and I let that dictate my behavior and keep me silent.


It's like you say. While there are things I'd like to do, I realize that on a fundamental level my person is not capable of achieving some of the smallest feats that re natural to others. When you realize you don't even know how to try and so it only further discourages you from taking a leap of faith, you don't know what to do except remain in your 'safe zone.' I feel like, at least in this regard, you and I are alike. It's humbling to hear it from someone else, despite the fact we all know that many others experience our own struggles. What I've realized is that knowing the problem and even its roots is much different from understanding them as a person. That is to say the "learning process" is something we must undergo physically in real world experiences. While I can't tell you how to solve a problem we both struggle with, I want you to know you're no more alone than I am. Like I said it's a relief to hear firsthand from another person that they have met similar difficulties. Reading your message made me smile because I felt like you understood and also because, as much of a stranger that you are, we are connected by the obstacles in our lives. Even if its only the smallest connection, it can give me peace for a time. I'm so afraid to ask for help if I'm honest, being open and vulnerable to another human being makes me feel anxious and evasive. Life only requires the smallest of steps at first, and I hope you can realize that you can take those steps at your own pace. Whatever it is you need take your time to get there, just make sure that you do inevitably gather the courage to move forward. I'm definitely NOT anywhere close to that point but I'd like to say I'm chipping away one day at a time. Very, very slowly but I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my pace is irrelevant so long as I develop the resolve eventually. Maybe I'm not a friend but if you ever want a chat, send me a message. Talk to anyone for that matter, I'm not asking you to come to me, just be willing to open yourself up and be vulnerable. Even if it's just to 1 person and they're the only one you can trust, let that person be your escape if you think they're willing and able. It's still very hard for me, but it will help you grow; this I know.


Amadeiro wrote:

I wish I wasn't born. I have absolutely no ambitions or goals, so I have to invent them, in order not to appear myself as garbage. I am talented in sports, but I'm too lazy to do it seriously, besides I'm terribly fickle, if I start to do something that I would not like at a 100%, it is likely that I'll change my mind after 1 or 2 weeks. My life is a big lie and a huge mistake. Kill me because I'm too weak to kill myself. I despise all people, sometimes I'm ashamed to be considered as a human.


I'm sure you don't feel that way all the time. Take a deep breathe and try t hear me out, please? Something I've come to learn is that often times our feelings of the world or people is simply a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. You don't kill yourself not because you're too weak or lack resolve, but because you feel the world doesn't have a place for you. I know that's vague and maybe even preachy but isn't it because you feel you have no place that you feel ostracized and isolated? You know I was also very athletic back in middle school, a Soccer star to be precise. I was faster than most but in High school I gave up the sport because I felt it would be too much work between daily practice/games and schoolwork to keep up. It wasn't I felt inadequate, but more that it would be too much effort. I didn't want to step up so I didn't, and instead just receded into my other hobbies such as anime and gaming. I still think about what I could have done and where I'd be if I just stuck with it. It's not that I feel like my life is lost because of that, but I wonder about it because Soccer was something I really did enjoy and I had made friends doing it. It sticks in my mind because I worked hard and was good at it, yet decided to leave it because it would have been "too much of a hassle." You are not alone. While I seem to talk big, if you look at my previous post I am actually terribly afraid and entirely incapable of understanding myself on my own. I am a man at the age of 23 years old[will be 23 in February] and have absolutely NO ambition. I have never had a dream. There's never been something in my life that I've been able to cling onto and aspire to, ever. It hurts most because as much as I've thought about it and even with the hobbies I have that I'm so interested in, I am indecisive. I adore anime and play hours of video games every day. Despite these interests I'm so invested in I have no idea what I want in life. Whenever I think about the future I don't know what I'm supposed to do or even how to try to figure it out. To make it worse I can't figure myself out either, no matter what problem I try to solve it feels like I'm lost. Let me tell you that life is not easy and at the same time you aren't in a race to finish. The things I want to do come naturally to so many and yet I struggle, furthering the resentment I feel towards myself. I've withdrawn myself. You are hurting I know, but you need to understand that your problems are rooted deep within you. You dislike people because you can't connect and your constant comparisons with others make you feel like you're so far behind everyone else. What you must know is that knowing why something is wrong and how to fix it is VASTLY different from truly understanding why. While you can reason with yourself, unless you learn to feel the truth through real world experience you won't be able to accept the truth. And the truth for you will be different from the truth I see. You'll know it because it will set your mind at ease, and it will give you peace where there was once insecurity and doubt. One of the most important lessons I've learned is that fear is incredibly complex. You don't have to be scared to be fearful and in most scenarios you don't realize that fear is what holds you back. Indecision, hesitation, Rejection, Isoaltion; these all stem from fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, do you see? Knowing things may not work out because they never have in your life so far, is discouraging to say the least. "So far" is the key phrase because it does in fact take courage and resolve to overcome the obstacles you face, whatever form they take. It's necessary for you to humble yourself in order to realize it's entirely reasonable to ask for help. The most difficult part for me personally has been to admit that I need to become vulnerable. As much as you may distrust people or feel they cannot understand/help you, it's a risk you must take; multiple times even. It may not work out the 1st or even the 100th time, but if you cannot solve your own problems then you have to be willing to try to find someone who can assist you in finding your own way. Something that is true is that you will get it wrong a few times and there will be people who cannot or will not help you. You'll express your true self and feelings to someone and they may smite you for it, or even stab you in the back later on. As long as you can keep on living and are willing to persevere then I can absolutely guarantee you'll stumble upon someone or maybe multiple people who can see you for who you are, and then help you discover your light. I urge to you reread what I've said until something strikes you because I swear to you on my life I've been there. I'm still there, in a matter of speaking. Be spiteful if you must, but you have to act. You have to try to move forward, being pushed back time after time until eventually you're the one who pushes back. When you do finally move forward it won't be alone. Take as long in your life as necessary to realize and take as much time as you need to take the smallest of steps. As long as you take them it doesn't matter. While you will need to find others who can help you see you own light, also say :F*** you!" to everyone who doubts you. Don't let anyone hold you down or tell you that you're worthless, most importantly yourself. You are you and your path will be entirely unique and original in its own right, so don't take any sh** from anyone who thinks they can judge you. No one can judge another person, not even the person them-self. If you can't believe me then try to trust me and the words I've worked hard to tell you by learning it myself in the harshest of atmospheres. I struggle immensely today and tomorrow and probably for a long time, so please read this and allow me to help you help yourself. You will never be alone, I would wager my life and livelihood on that.


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23 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 1/20/17
Fuck no. Im perfect.
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69 / M
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Posted 1/20/17
How do you really know you dislike yourself if you have no real idea of who "you" actually is? I think a lot of what we think of as ourself has origins outside of ourself.
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 1/20/17
After I see stuff written on internet forums I only dislike people on the internet.
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16 / M
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Posted 1/20/17
Only a little. Okay, that might be an understatement.
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Posted 22 days ago
Forum clean up ^,^ removing posts from over a year ago!
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