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Post Reply Unsure on what to do in this situation
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Posted 1/31/17
I'm unsure on what to do at the moment. Currently I'm facing some problems involving "family".

While I can't really give the specifics essentially they are trying to change my daily routine because it doesn't benefit them. (They think its bad because I'm on a computer for long periods of times and they think apparently being on a computer for long periods of time is a bad thing and I should go outside and be an extrovert however I'm the opposite as I'm an introvert and I have no interest in things outside at the moment.) While it benefits me as I do much better with my own routine. An example of this is I do schoolwork the day in advance at night (Example being On sunday at 12 am I do monday's work) as it allows me to do more stuff during the day and my "family" is trying to change this.

Alongside some other things I'm unsure on what to do to convince them to stop this as it is quite harmful on how I do things. They seem to be ignoring that my grades and schoolwork is getting behind and dropping despite me telling them they don't seem to budge.

I'm not sure exactly how I should go about this to try and fix this issue some advice would be appreciated.

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Posted 1/31/17 , edited 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:

I'm unsure on what to do at the moment. Currently I'm facing some problems involving "family".

While I can't really give the specifics essentially they are trying to change my daily routine because it doesn't benefit them. (They think its bad because I'm on a computer for long periods of times and they think apparently being on a computer for long periods of time is a bad thing and I should go outside and be an extrovert however I'm the opposite as I'm an introvert and I have no interest in things outside at the moment.) While it benefits me as I do much better with my own routine. An example of this is I do schoolwork the day in advance at night (Example being On sunday at 12 am I do monday's work) as it allows me to do more stuff during the day and my "family" is trying to change this.

Alongside some other things I'm unsure on what to do to convince them to stop this as it is quite harmful on how I do things. They seem to be ignoring that my grades and schoolwork is getting behind and dropping despite me telling them they don't seem to budge.

I'm not sure exactly how I should go about this to try and fix this issue some advice would be appreciated.







How do they plan to enforce this change, can't you just ignore them and follow your own routine?
I'm guessing you already explained this to them and they don't understand.
Do they have a good reason? Maybe you can negotiate, both sides can make a compromise, you adjust your routine a bit to make them feel more assured you're living a healthy life, but not too much so that you can still enjoy the benefits from your routine.

Sounds like a complicated situation in my opinion, you're at a strategical disadvantage.

I don't think I understood the last part, have you already tried their suggested routine and your grades became worse?
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Posted 1/31/17 , edited 1/31/17

wststreet wrote:


LunaTakimoto wrote:

I'm unsure on what to do at the moment. Currently I'm facing some problems involving "family".

While I can't really give the specifics essentially they are trying to change my daily routine because it doesn't benefit them. (They think its bad because I'm on a computer for long periods of times and they think apparently being on a computer for long periods of time is a bad thing and I should go outside and be an extrovert however I'm the opposite as I'm an introvert and I have no interest in things outside at the moment.) While it benefits me as I do much better with my own routine. An example of this is I do schoolwork the day in advance at night (Example being On sunday at 12 am I do monday's work) as it allows me to do more stuff during the day and my "family" is trying to change this.

Alongside some other things I'm unsure on what to do to convince them to stop this as it is quite harmful on how I do things. They seem to be ignoring that my grades and schoolwork is getting behind and dropping despite me telling them they don't seem to budge.

I'm not sure exactly how I should go about this to try and fix this issue some advice would be appreciated.







How do they plan to enforce this change, can't you just ignore them and follow your own routine?
I'm guessing you already explained this to them and they don't understand.
Do they have a good reason? Maybe you can negotiate, both sides can make a compromise, you adjust your routine a bit to make them feel more assured you're living a healthy life, but not too much so that you can still enjoy the benefits from your routine.

Sounds like a complicated situation in my opinion, you're at a strategical disadvantage.

I don't think I understood the last part, have you already tried their suggested routine and your grades became worse?


Correct. My grades went down when I was forced onto their routine and my schoolwork piled up. I've tried talking it with them but they don't want to listen to me. They want me to not do my routine of doing it at night because they want me to sleep more despite me saying I don't need nor want to. In essence they want me to not do my routine because 1. It involves staying up late and being on the computer more and 2. They dislike me having more time to be on the computer because my routine allows me more time to do things during the day.

And I can't really... just continue as they can just kinda... take my laptop from me.
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Posted 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:

Correct. My grades went down when I was forced onto their routine and my schoolwork piled up. I've tried talking it with them but they don't want to listen to me. They want me to not do my routine of doing it at night because they want me to sleep more despite me saying I don't need nor want to. In essence they want me to not do my routine because 1. It involves staying up late and being on the computer more and 2. They dislike me having more time to be on the computer because my routine allows me more time to do things during the day.

And I can't really... just continue as they can just kinda... take my laptop from me.


I can't think of any good suggestions. Among the less good suggestions... you can try continuing your routine even if they take your laptop (though as long as you need it for school they probably won't do that anyway). This might show them that your routine has nothing to do with your laptop. But of course there's the possibility they'll be stubborn and won't return it.

You can also try going out for 1h or something like that everyday, it might just be enough to convince them you're doing some outside activities (even if you're just going to arcades or whatever you'll find as a good alternative). I'm not encouraging you to lie about it, but yeah... kinda maybe change the truth a bit...
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Posted 1/31/17

wststreet wrote:


LunaTakimoto wrote:

Correct. My grades went down when I was forced onto their routine and my schoolwork piled up. I've tried talking it with them but they don't want to listen to me. They want me to not do my routine of doing it at night because they want me to sleep more despite me saying I don't need nor want to. In essence they want me to not do my routine because 1. It involves staying up late and being on the computer more and 2. They dislike me having more time to be on the computer because my routine allows me more time to do things during the day.

And I can't really... just continue as they can just kinda... take my laptop from me.


I can't think of any good suggestions. Among the less good suggestions... you can try continuing your routine even if they take your laptop (though as long as you need it for school they probably won't do that anyway). This might show them that your routine has nothing to do with your laptop. But of course there's the possibility they'll be stubborn and won't return it.

You can also try going out for 1h or something like that everyday, it might just be enough to convince them you're doing some outside activities (even if you're just going to arcades or whatever you'll find as a good alternative). I'm not encouraging you to lie about it, but yeah... kinda maybe change the truth a bit...


Its not just the laptop that is taken. Alongside everything else I own aside from my tv and ps4 as I had to pay for those myself. I do get the laptop back to do schoolwork on but again they enforce their routine I think what you did suggest might work. Maybe. I'm not sure what I'd do perhaps I'll just get some money and walk dogs downtown for an hour every 3 days or something like that I'm not sure too sure what will work.
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Posted 1/31/17
How do they know that you are on the PC for long periods? And what is it about that that bothers them the most? Your lack of friends, socialising, the fact that you are not going early to bed or something else? Depending on the answer to those questions, lying could very well be a viable option. There has to be a way to make them believe that you are taking their advice and changing your schedule. Either that or you could change your daily schedule temporarily until your parents lose interest in monitoring your activities. Resisting and reasoning with them does not seem like a good option in your case. Knowing what their reasoning behind this act is would be helpful. Perhaps they want to prove a point and put a "kid" such as yourself in their place.

Whatever the case, I also recommend getting rid of those negative emotions that are directed towards your parents. Try not to dwell on it too much or talk to someone you are close to. Venting can help.
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Posted 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:
Its not just the laptop that is taken. Alongside everything else I own aside from my tv and ps4 as I had to pay for those myself. I do get the laptop back to do schoolwork on but again they enforce their routine I think what you did suggest might work. Maybe. I'm not sure what I'd do perhaps I'll just get some money and walk dogs downtown for an hour every 3 days or something like that I'm not sure too sure what will work.


You mean walking other people's dogs for money? That sounds like a good idea, not only might it convince your family you're doing enough outdoor activity you'll win some money to buy your own stuff so they won't be able to take it away from you.
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Posted 1/31/17

Nalaniel wrote:

How do they know that you are on the PC for long periods? And what is it about that that bothers them the most? Your lack of friends, socialising, the fact that you are not going early to bed or something else? Depending on the answer to those questions, lying could very well be a viable option. There has to be a way to make them believe that you are taking their advice and changing your schedule. Either that or you could change your daily schedule temporarily until your parents lose interest in monitoring your activities. Resisting and reasoning with them does not seem like a good option in your case. Knowing what their reasoning behind this act is would be helpful. Perhaps they want to prove a point and put a "kid" such as yourself in their place.

Whatever the case, I also recommend getting rid of those negative emotions that are directed towards your parents. Try not to dwell on it too much or talk to someone you are close to. Venting can help.


They knows this because I have my PC in my room and I stay in my room most of the time. They are bothered because of me not doing normal things like going outside or meeting up with irl friends (as I have none nor want any at the moment really) they are also annoyed over me not doing a few chores but I fixed that and am doing chores already more often so that isn't much of an issue. They want me to go to sleep sooner because 3 days ago you may recall I slept for too long due to staying up for more than usual while this holds true my normal routine of doing school at night doesn't affect me in terms of me sleeping for too long while staying awake for a day does. If that made any sense.
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Posted 1/31/17

wststreet wrote:


LunaTakimoto wrote:
Its not just the laptop that is taken. Alongside everything else I own aside from my tv and ps4 as I had to pay for those myself. I do get the laptop back to do schoolwork on but again they enforce their routine I think what you did suggest might work. Maybe. I'm not sure what I'd do perhaps I'll just get some money and walk dogs downtown for an hour every 3 days or something like that I'm not sure too sure what will work.


You mean walking other people's dogs for money? That sounds like a good idea, not only might it convince your family you're doing enough outdoor activity you'll win some money to buy your own stuff so they won't be able to take it away from you.


I meant walking my own dogs but that could work... Its just I have to make sure the dogs don't want to kill me and make sure I could even do that. Probably in spring that'd be possible.
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Posted 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:

I meant walking my own dogs but that could work... Its just I have to make sure the dogs don't want to kill me and make sure I could even do that. Probably in spring that'd be possible.


Well, whichever plan you'll choose, I wish you luck

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Posted 1/31/17 , edited 1/31/17

wststreet wrote:


LunaTakimoto wrote:

I meant walking my own dogs but that could work... Its just I have to make sure the dogs don't want to kill me and make sure I could even do that. Probably in spring that'd be possible.


Well, whichever plan you'll choose, I wish you luck



And I wanted to ask if you had any other ideas for money making perhaps? As that would help quiet them since I'd have you know. Money to pay for my own things so they can't really take anything of mine.
Posted 1/31/17
Have you tried getting used to this new routine? I know it's tempting to fall back into the old routine, but you could just try sketching out or writing out a new homework-plan for this new routine... That way, you may go through with things a lot quicker like you did before.

Unless you're a night owl, then I feel your pain..................
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Posted 1/31/17

Mistrylocks wrote:

Have you tried getting used to this new routine? I know it's tempting to fall back into the old routine, but you could just try sketching out or writing out a new homework-plan for this new routine... That way, you may go through with things a lot quicker like you did before.

Unless you're a night owl, then I feel your pain..................


I have but it doesn't really suit me. It makes schoolwork way more difficult than it has to be and way less time to do things so it stresses me out.
Posted 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:


Mistrylocks wrote:

Have you tried getting used to this new routine? I know it's tempting to fall back into the old routine, but you could just try sketching out or writing out a new homework-plan for this new routine... That way, you may go through with things a lot quicker like you did before.

Unless you're a night owl, then I feel your pain..................


I have but it doesn't really suit me. It makes schoolwork way more difficult than it has to be and way less time to do things so it stresses me out.


Yeah... I think you better get back to that routine where you do better....

Your parents are just following the typical "concerned parents" pattern.... They just want the best for you...... But obviously you do better in your own environment....

Explain it to them one more time.

And to make them feel better, go out with those "real life friends" of yours - like, the ones... Even the ones you don't consider friends.....

Make a study group if you have to............. Good luck.
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Posted 1/31/17 , edited 1/31/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:

They knows this because I have my PC in my room and I stay in my room most of the time. They are bothered because of me not doing normal things like going outside or meeting up with irl friends (as I have none nor want any at the moment really) they are also annoyed over me not doing a few chores but I fixed that and am doing chores already more often so that isn't much of an issue. They want me to go to sleep sooner because 3 days ago you may recall I slept for too long due to staying up for more than usual while this holds true my normal routine of doing school at night doesn't affect me in terms of me sleeping for too long while staying awake for a day does. If that made any sense.


Would it be an option if you told them that you were going to accept their wishes and act as if everything was alright? That would include going outside for at least a whole hour daily. Now, I do not know if an hour would be enough, but I am trying to say that they will probably change their view on this if you keep up the act for a little while. This decision seems to have come out of the blue. It sounds unrealistic that they are going to monitor your activities all the time now because they have not done that before (that's how it looks to me). That coupled with taking care of your oversleeping issue could allow you to bypass your parents' restrictions until they stop paying attention.
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