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Post Reply Why do people cheat?
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21 / F
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Posted 2/4/17

I feel like with social media nowadays and the whole "netflix and chill" shit that is being spout out there, it makes it even worse. Idk I feel like every generation is less and less traditional. It isn't bad to deter from tradition, but when it comes to relationships...less people want to be serious now. They just want to mess around.

Ah, I just wanted everyone to share their experiences and opinions. And yeah I've never cheated, but mostly I wish I had restored faith in guys...it may seem like a generalization but it's fact that men cheat more than women. I know most women such as myself do not cheat, but I have met a lot of men that do, even men who would be considered good men. So it's like, who can you trust?
Posted 2/4/17
Lack of self control. I think it's part of our biological imperative to want to cheat (maybe evo-psych has something on this). I do however think that cheating goes against our sense of self-preservation in the long run. The psychological damage it can do to yourself and others can be horrendous depending on who you cheated with, how you did it, how long for etc.
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27 / F / hell's grave
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Posted 2/4/17
I've been cheated on by my ex. Have I ever cheated? Nope! Not even on tests Whenever i get into a relationship I want honesty. You want too cheat on me? Tell me don't go around sneaking around. Of course we will break up, and I'll be hurt. But why not just be up front. Honesty, man!!!!
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Posted 2/4/17
I was the 'other guy' with a girl who was engaged. It was an interesting role to be in. She made up some interesting lies about him at the start so I wouldn't feel as guilty. That or she was just trying to convince me to keep doing what we were doing. She was a pretty terrible person. I did end up meeting one of my best friends through her though.

For myself I guess I did emotionally cheat a few time. I led someone on for a bit while dating someone else.

I also broke up a marriage though it was already coming undone at the seams before I showed up. I just quickened it I guess.

I'm pretty jaded when it comes to relationships. I still have hope that something, or someone, will change that in the future.

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21 / F
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Posted 2/4/17 , edited 2/4/17

Damn, 6 times? Different people or same person?

Yep, it all it takes is just one time to be cheated on and it destroys a person and makes them lose trust in others. Idk if it does any damage to the cheater, I don't think so, probably they just get really stressed out hiding it. Why people like to cause so much pain, I won't understand. I get it could be so that we can reproduce more or something in terms of the survival instinct inside of us, but humans are also very jealous animals and want to keep a person to themselves.
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Posted 2/4/17
People cheat for many reasons but usually....it is just because they want to get away with it

What would any girl say to a boyfriend who asks "i met this hot girl, i'm curious as hell about her tits. Can i like, bang her and then we be cool? I won't talk to her again i swear!"

You'd probably smack him aside the head lol.

But also, guys grow out of this. Because they get tired of the running around, and they also have too much to do, too many responsibilities to be ruining their image with females. Especially the ones that are generally the cheate'ees?

Anyways Idk your age. But honestly, whoever he is. OR was....don't take him back if he cheats. Cuz its wayyyy cooler to just ignore him like he isn't even a thing.
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Posted 2/4/17

kiraralove wrote:


I feel like with social media nowadays and the whole "netflix and chill" shit that is being spout out there, it makes it even worse. Idk I feel like every generation is less and less traditional. It isn't bad to deter from tradition, but when it comes to relationships...less people want to be serious now. They just want to mess around.

Ah, I just wanted everyone to share their experiences and opinions. And yeah I've never cheated, but mostly I wish I had restored faith in guys...it may seem like a generalization but it's fact that men cheat more than women. I know most women such as myself do not cheat, but I have met a lot of men that do, even men who would be considered good men. So it's like, who can you trust?


It is a generalization considering there are varying numerous reports that say women cheat more than men. Both sexes have their score of cheaters. Don't use your own experiences to just blame the one sex when both are doing it. you should be looking at why both do it.
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21 / F
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Posted 2/4/17

Right!! Exactly! What the hell? Then it is more painful when you discover the secret and see that it has been going on for awhile. Just break up with the person, damn. But maybe they somewhat enjoy causing the pain?

Oh damn, it's interesting to hear from another perspective. You're jaded because you haven't found the person to make you feel something yet and give purpose to a relationship. One day, I believe you definitely will.


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Posted 2/4/17 , edited 3/13/17

I'm not so sure about guys growing out of it, a lot of them don't. My dad, for example. There are also old men who still cheat on their wives and have always done it their whole marriage. Some cheaters remain scummy. But I'm sure some of them do mature with time or realize their errors.

Yeah I had taken him back a few times like an idiot because like I said, this was my first relationship and it lasted 3 years...it started when I was 17 and I was very innocent and naive and trusting that he would change. This time around though, I've grown up a lot. Lol you're right, I'm going make myself look cute then ignore his existence. You get to that point when you just realize it really isn't worth it anymore. Besides, after the first time he cheats things are just never the same.

You're right, there are women that cheat too. But I don't believe women cheat more than men though, I'd have to see those reports. I guess also because of my culture what I've seen mostly is men cheating so that is what I've come to expect. In hispanic culture men are even encouraged to have multiple girlfriends when they are young. But then later, women get mad when those men cheat on them, it's like, wow really? Then don't encourage it from a young age. I was told since I was little that there is no such thing as a man who is a saint, and that men will always cheat because they are just so horny lol. Apparently this is something told to all the girls in my culture, so everyone expects it. But if a woman cheats, all of a sudden she's the most disgusting puta on the block. Maybe I shouldn't date within my own culture anymore
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15 / F / USA
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Posted 2/4/17
because tests are really stressful and super hard
llunga 
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Posted 2/4/17

kiraralove wrote:


I feel like with social media nowadays and the whole "netflix and chill" shit that is being spout out there, it makes it even worse. Idk I feel like every generation is less and less traditional. It isn't bad to deter from tradition, but when it comes to relationships...less people want to be serious now. They just want to mess around.

Ah, I just wanted everyone to share their experiences and opinions. And yeah I've never cheated, but mostly I wish I had restored faith in guys...it may seem like a generalization but it's fact that men cheat more than women. I know most women such as myself do not cheat, but I have met a lot of men that do, even men who would be considered good men. So it's like, who can you trust?


I think when you get older you start to realize the different between someone who is a boy and someone who is actually a man.
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33 / M / Pensacola
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Posted 2/4/17
humans are not meant to be monogamous.
Posted 2/4/17

ironh19 wrote:

humans are not meant to be monogamous.


I'd argue against this line of logic, actually.
I would partially agree that at one point this were a true statement. As humans evolved and societies were formed, the social expectation took over the pre-existing view of reproduction. Emotionally, we're geared nowadays to focus on one individual due to traditional logic in our societies of civilization.

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On Topic:

I believe that the vast majority of people who cheat are simply too cowardice to break up with the individual that they're already in a relationship with. There are numerous "excuses" for cheating on someone (none of which I would accept myself while in a relationship) but in the end, the person knew that there was something driving them to want to end the relationship they were in before they started cheating on them. Usually either because they feel underappreciated (from their own perspective, in the majority of cases) or because they simply lost interest in the person they're with in some way or another (generally, sexually speaking). Regardless, they should have been brave enough to straight up address it with the person they were going out with before resorting to sexually or emotionally cheating on the individual they were dating.
Posted 2/4/17

ninjitsuko wrote:

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On Topic:

I believe that the vast majority of people who cheat are simply too cowardice to break up with the individual that they're already in a relationship with. There are numerous "excuses" for cheating on someone (none of which I would accept myself while in a relationship) but in the end, the person knew that there was something driving them to want to end the relationship they were in before they started cheating on them. Usually either because they feel underappreciated (from their own perspective, in the majority of cases) or because they simply lost interest in the person they're with in some way or another (generally, sexually speaking). Regardless, they should have been brave enough to straight up address it with the person they were going out with before resorting to sexually or emotionally cheating on the individual they were dating.


So just to clarify, is it your belief that the majority of people who cheat know they are going to before they actually do??

I would like to just say I have never cheated or been cheated on however this is probably due to the fact that the majority of my past relationships were open relationships. I also don't believe that all people are capable of monogamy though most are.
Posted 2/4/17

TartanButterfly wrote:
So just to clarify, is it your belief that the majority of people who cheat know they are going to before they actually do??


To summarize: yes, to a degree.
Majority of those that I know that cheated on their significant others (usually friends) knew that they were unhappy in the relationship and were simply trying to "justify" the end of the relationship without actually breaking up with their significant other. The few that were simply "unhappy but didn't want to discuss this with their spouse" (in my own, anecdotal, experiences) were those that were unhappy but had no clue how to "be happy again" for whatever reason/excuse. The cheating has usually been, more or less, a means to the end.
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