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Post Reply Love/Despair
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28 / F / Turkey
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Posted 8/15/08

X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



I actually read almost all of your poems here... you have a unique style and I simply loved it... if you really think mine are worth reading then I can post more...

but I have a question though, no one will steal them, right? neither mine nor yours...or anybody else's... it would be really unfair...

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Posted 8/15/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:


X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



I actually read almost all of your poems here... you have a unique style and I simply loved it... if you really think mine are worth reading then I can post more...

but I have a question though, no one will steal them, right? neither mine nor yours...or anybody else's... it would be really unfair...



Firstly, thx so much ^_^ i've been writing for about a year now and i think this style is not only easy to master, but there r soo many topics to write about. Secondly, everyone in this group is a poet themselves. they have their own voice and their own style. stealing someone elses work isnt only plagarism, but its shameful too. i have full trust in the ppl here, so thats why i post mine up. Thridly, i wanna tell u a secret to writing good poetry. u only have to remember two important things. 1) Never Doubt Ur Own Work and 2) Write From Ur Heart, Not Ur Brain. if u need me to explain wat that means let me know k ^_^? i look forward to hearing more incerdible poetry from u in the future.
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Posted 8/15/08
well I can post one now...this is a true dream...

The Kiss

I had a dream last night,
We were under moonlight,
Gazing each other quietly,
Waiting for something to be.

Then you took a step forward,
Came closer, looked puzzled,
Asked me with the moon in your eyes,
I nodded thinking, no more lines.

You reached out for my hand,
Pulled me slowly to your land,
I felt your hand on my waist,
Every cell burned, sensing your taste.

We moved at the same time,
Kissed for the first time,
My hands shaking found your neck,
My body felt a burning ache.

One moment streched into hours,
Silence fell upon the forest,
I didn't need my eyes to see,
That we were meant to be.

Your ravishing kiss on my lips
Fear of missing a second of this
Then you stopped and sighed deeply
You were dazed just like me

I gazed upon your dear face
Divine eyes with moonlight blaze
So handsome with a smile on your lips
I woke up, craving for another kiss


and as for what you said X02fighter I actually dont doubt my own work I find my poems good but everyone doesnt have to like them...and I just dont want to stick my poetry into their eyes...and also I dont think you can write poems from your brain..how come you can feel the emotions then?
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Posted 8/16/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:

well I can post one now...this is a true dream...

The Kiss

I had a dream last night,
We were under moonlight,
Gazing each other quietly,
Waiting for something to be.

Then you took a step forward,
Came closer, looked puzzled,
Asked me with the moon in your eyes,
I nodded thinking, no more lines.

You reached out for my hand,
Pulled me slowly to your land,
I felt your hand on my waist,
Every cell burned, sensing your taste.

We moved at the same time,
Kissed for the first time,
My hands shaking found your neck,
My body felt a burning ache.

One moment streched into hours,
Silence fell upon the forest,
I didn't need my eyes to see,
That we were meant to be.

Your ravishing kiss on my lips
Fear of missing a second of this
Then you stopped and sighed deeply
You were dazed just like me

I gazed upon your dear face
Divine eyes with moonlight blaze
So handsome with a smile on your lips
I woke up, craving for another kiss


and as for what you said X02fighter I actually dont doubt my own work I find my poems good but everyone doesnt have to like them...and I just dont want to stick my poetry into their eyes...and also I dont think you can write poems from your brain..how come you can feel the emotions then?


thats where ur heart comes into play. when u write from ur brain, the words u put on the paper r only words. u can describe the saddest moment of ur life, but without writing from ur heart no one can feel ur sadness at the time u wrote it. i wanna make sure that when someone looks at my poems 5 yrs from now. a total and complete stranger will feel the same way i did 5 yrs ago. writing from ur heart lets u do that, but not from ur brain. and its good that u dont doubt ur work. i saw many poets who do and r afraid to show their work. great job on the poem btw
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24 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 8/16/08

X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



i agree that that would be quite the weird situation. i think u made this a bit too........normal. i was expecting somthing more
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Posted 8/16/08

Takumoto wrote:


X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



i agree that that would be quite the weird situation. i think u made this a bit too........normal. i was expecting somthing more


i guess u win some and u lose some *bows* thx for the comment. ill try better next time
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Posted 8/16/08

X02fighter wrote:


Takumoto wrote:


X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



i agree that that would be quite the weird situation. i think u made this a bit too........normal. i was expecting somthing more


i guess u win some and u lose some *bows* thx for the comment. ill try better next time



Not saying it was bad . just saying - Ballad Of Love - was more captivating.
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Posted 8/16/08

Takumoto wrote:


X02fighter wrote:


Takumoto wrote:


X02fighter wrote:

Tough Year
The summer has finally ended
And the routine stayed the same
School still starts in August
And everyone still complained

Going back was really easy
But the toughest part of all
Was seeing my ex walking
Towards me down the hall

Over the summer, she changed
I saw it in her eyes
But I still couldn't forgive
All of her stupid lies

This will be a tough year
With her always there
But part of me keeps saying
"Maybe now, she really does care"



i agree that that would be quite the weird situation. i think u made this a bit too........normal. i was expecting somthing more


i guess u win some and u lose some *bows* thx for the comment. ill try better next time



Not saying it was bad . just saying - Ballad Of Love - was more captivating.


Ballad of Love was really new for me. i used a style and scheme i nvr really used b4. i was thinking of Sweeny Todd while i was writing that poem so maybe thats why it was so captivating? not sure though.
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Posted 8/17/08
Another poem, I wrote it just yet...

The Ghost

With broken memories in my mind
Mourning after the gone
A vast emptiness in my heart
A land of dust without any sun
No funeral for the dreams
All died undone
...
A ghost is haunting me
I feel him in the sleepless nights
Strolling around with me
Touching me, holding me
Torturing with lies
...
My days are getting darker
The silky night suffocates me
With flashing memories over and over
The ghost at my bedside
Wiping my tears away
Knowing that it wouldnt help me
But doing it anyway
...
His every touch, I already cannot feel
Makes the pain worse
Every tear drop I thought would be the last
Leads another river which again, seems vast
I need him but he must go
I want him and he does me soo
But he is a ghost
A ghost of broken memories
A ghost of dead dreams
He is killing me, I know
I should say "Let me go"
Now he looks down at me
Sees the pain he is causing me
A single tear slides down his transparent cheek
Leaving a glowing trace behind
He stands up and glides away from me
Looks deep down at me
And then,
Whispers painfully "Now you are free"
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28 / M / California, US
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Posted 8/17/08

elanra_moonlight wrote:

Another poem, I wrote it just yet...

The Ghost

With broken memories in my mind
Mourning after the gone
A vast emptiness in my heart
A land of dust without any sun
No funeral for the dreams
All died undone
...
A ghost is haunting me
I feel him in the sleepless nights
Strolling around with me
Touching me, holding me
Torturing with lies
...
My days are getting darker
The silky night suffocates me
With flashing memories over and over
The ghost at my bedside
Wiping my tears away
Knowing that it wouldnt help me
But doing it anyway
...
His every touch, I already cannot feel
Makes the pain worse
Every tear drop I thought would be the last
Leads another river which again, seems vast
I need him but he must go
I want him and he does me soo
But he is a ghost
A ghost of broken memories
A ghost of dead dreams
He is killing me, I know
I should say "Let me go"
Now he looks down at me
Sees the pain he is causing me
A single tear slides down his transparent cheek
Leaving a glowing trace behind
He stands up and glides away from me
Looks deep down at me
And then,
Whispers painfully "Now you are free"


It's a very descriptive poem which was enjoyable picturing the situation happening . Its a nice poem in my own opinion

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Posted 8/18/08

psyopslayerx wrote:


elanra_moonlight wrote:

Another poem, I wrote it just yet...

The Ghost

With broken memories in my mind
Mourning after the gone
A vast emptiness in my heart
A land of dust without any sun
No funeral for the dreams
All died undone
...
A ghost is haunting me
I feel him in the sleepless nights
Strolling around with me
Touching me, holding me
Torturing with lies
...
My days are getting darker
The silky night suffocates me
With flashing memories over and over
The ghost at my bedside
Wiping my tears away
Knowing that it wouldnt help me
But doing it anyway
...
His every touch, I already cannot feel
Makes the pain worse
Every tear drop I thought would be the last
Leads another river which again, seems vast
I need him but he must go
I want him and he does me soo
But he is a ghost
A ghost of broken memories
A ghost of dead dreams
He is killing me, I know
I should say "Let me go"
Now he looks down at me
Sees the pain he is causing me
A single tear slides down his transparent cheek
Leaving a glowing trace behind
He stands up and glides away from me
Looks deep down at me
And then,
Whispers painfully "Now you are free"


It's a very descriptive poem which was enjoyable picturing the situation happening . Its a nice poem in my own opinion




thanks, it was something I had to get it out of my chest..thank you for your comment
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Posted 8/26/08 , edited 8/26/08
Tribute to Matthew


"Matthew is and always will
Be in our hearts forever
We mustn't cry or mourn
Nor hate the one who severed

An athlete, a son of god
On that black, paved street
Though his life has ended
His journey is not complete

His last task before he can
Enter the solid gold Gates
Is have us say goodbye
So now he sits and waits"
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Posted 8/28/08

X02fighter wrote:

Tribute to Matthew


"Matthew is and always will
Be in our hearts forever
We mustn't cry or mourn
Nor hate the one who severed

An athlete, a son of god
On that black, paved street
Though his life has ended
His journey is not complete

His last task before he can
Enter the solid gold Gates
Is have us say goodbye
So now he sits and waits"


I think its beautiful and touching...I am sorry for your and your friends loss...I can relate to you I hope he'll rest in peace...

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Posted 9/4/08
Stupid Mistake

Sitting outside watching the sun set
I still hear her angelic voice
I bury my face in my hands
Wondering if I made the right choice

No matter what mood I was in
She would always make me smile
No matter how tough the day was
She made it all worth while

When I remember the good times
Tears run down my cold cheek
Her face pops into my mind
And all I do is weep

People see me happy and smiling
But no one knows it’s fake
Deep inside I’m crying and heartbroken
Because of my big stupid mistake
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Posted 9/5/08

X02fighter wrote:

Stupid Mistake

Sitting outside watching the sun set
I still hear her angelic voice
I bury my face in my hands
Wondering if I made the right choice

No matter what mood I was in
She would always make me smile
No matter how tough the day was
She made it all worth while

When I remember the good times
Tears run down my cold cheek
Her face pops into my mind
And all I do is weep

People see me happy and smiling
But no one knows it’s fake
Deep inside I’m crying and heartbroken
Because of my big stupid mistake


*looks away* I certainly know what you mean....
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