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Post Reply Stuck or idle in life.
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Posted 2/26/17
Have you ever felt... stuck in life?

I'm not really sure how to explain this but I have this feeling of... I'm not sure... but its strange.

I've felt idle or stuck in life. I've been asking more of... "What am I doing?" or "Why am I doing this?" types of questions. These questions occur mostly when I'm not doing anything at all. I have been recently ignoring some of the most important things to me and I'm not sure why. Its not intentional to ignore it but it just occurs and it leaves me with a feeling of despair. And then that leads to questioning myself on what I'm doing. It just feels as if I'm stuck or idle in life. I'm sure I'll figure out to fix this but at this moment I'm just... unsure.

So have you ever felt idle or stuck in life? If so what was it like?

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Posted 2/27/17
You are still young. Try going nowhere for twenty or thirty years. The vacant mediocrity. The desire to move desire to move forward but the awareness that you lack even the basic skills to begin to extract yourself from the unrelenting hell that is the nothingness of making do just to get by.
Feels pretty ordinary, I guess.
VeggyZ 
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
(lol... I didn't think I typed this much until I hit post... sorry about that, it's kinda my thing)

It's part of the process of figuring out what you actually want in life - but you don't have to hurry. You feel stuck because the everyday-life thing is getting to you. In my case, I never figured out what I wanted to do career or study-wise, and it bothered me for a long time. I wasn't good with people and not really good with the ladies either. I struggled to find my niche and went through phases where I "abandoned" hobbies that I really do love, I stopped talking to some of the only people I ever talked to at all, and I think it was because I was searching for some kind of change, I wasn't satisfied with going nowhere and I wasn't really satisfied with myself for feeling so mundane... and I think subconsciously I was trying to force it.

It changed for me - and don't follow my specific example - but it changed for me when one day I was under the influence of psychedelics. I wasn't trying to use them to find some answer, they weren't my intended solution and they aren't what guided me, so don't mistake what I'm saying. I don't encourage this because that's a shady area if you're dealing with anyone who doesn't know precisely what they're talking about - which is almost everyone, and it could be bad for your health. It's also not really necessary... but there it is, I'll explain.

I was tripping with a friend and it was about sunrise. We were sitting on my backyard deck and watching the sunlight hit the tops of the trees - neither of us speaking. I was lost in thought, thinking about the why's of life, and a breeze blew. I felt the breeze, then I saw the leaves in the trees across the drainage ditch rustle, and started surveying my surroundings. It was partly because of the drugs, but I felt a profound connection with the non-human life around me. I felt how good the trees felt that morning, as the sunlight hit them and the cool breeze blew against them, even though they spend their entire lives in one spot, totally reliant on nature to sustain them. The connection I felt with the world at that point made me realize why I'm alive. I know it's not a very helpful reason, but it was to notice and enjoy all those things I took for granted, that had always been there. This is such a hippie thing to say, but I felt the trees and the flowers happiness, at something as simple as a breeze and a ray of light, and I wondered what my problem was? Why wasn't it like that for me, and why couldn't I appreciate those things the same way.

And then I did - it seems like a silly epiphany (and it wasn't an immediate change), but I walked away from that experience with a different mindset. It's hard to put into words, but I feel like I exist to enjoy the world. I don't mean that in the sense that I seek as much pleasure or enjoyment as possible - it's not about getting into things that make you feel good, but feeling good about the things you're into. The more I tried to appreciate all the things I never really cared about the more I enjoyed myself and the better I felt about who I was. Over time, it gave me a sense of the world and the things around me that I don't believe I would have considered or noticed before, thus finding my "place".

I'm definitely not there yet, I'm not completely satisfied with my life and there are plenty of things I want to change - as well as some I don't ever want to change, but it's honestly all the mindset. It's an easy thing to say "change your way of thinking" and an entirely different one to do so, but for me personally, the more I took in the little details, the more ...easily... the change came. What I can say is that drugs are definitely not "the answer" - they may have helped me but I also may have permanently harmed my body in doing so. My conclusion could have come from something as simple as meditation, or just occurred to me one day - psychedelics force a change on your psyche and your perception, for better or worse, but are not really the force behind the change. I believe what they did was help me notice what I had to appreciate, but could just as easily have distracted me from it if circumstance was different.

It's been an ongoing battle and I suspect it always will be, but I'm able to be much more content since I changed my thinking, even when times are tough, there are a million things around me to appreciate at all times, even when I'm alone, I still feel like I'm moving forward.

Sorry if this wasn't much help, it's more or less me rambling but I do know one thing - when I die, and look back on my life, there is likely only one thing I'm going to care about at that point, and that's whether or not the experience was fulfilling, and whether I had some fun. Take everything you can from every experience - if I've done that I'll ultimately be satisfied, because there is a LOT of good to the world, even with it in it's current state.

Well, I typed this up, so I may as well hit "Post Reply" ... sorry if it's not helpful at all, and not what you were looking for, but it is most definitely how I found myself when I was feeling lost, or stuck, and even now that I don't take psychedelic's, that mindset contents me and reassures my direction in life, wherever that direction ends up.
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Posted 2/27/17
I mean considering I don't enjoy anything anymore yeah pretty much all the time

Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
Yes, I've been in that situation more times than I would like and it's always a case of a situation losing it's appeal due to personal change and I needed to find something new to want to do based on my new perspectives and an objective view on my old ways.

When I was your age I was heavily addicted to games but eventually found the fun aspect of the process was missing more often than not, gave it up and didn't have anything to replace my focus outside of meaningless school work. When I say "meaningless" I mean it in the sense that I knew I didn't need the certificate that would result from hours of hard work to lead a healthy and balanced life.

Several documentaries later I took up mechanical engineering. It turned out to be something I could understand well enough to follow but still present new challenges to stay fresh.
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24 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 2/27/17
Take a look at the world. At this point I'm just coasting through life without much of a care until eventual death.
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
Play for Honor.


TheAngryLittleAlchemist wrote:

I mean considering I don't enjoy anything anymore yeah pretty much all the time



Good food? Games? Sports? Destroying people mind and soul at activities?
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22 / M
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
Nah, I just follow my chill routine and deal with things as they come

The thing that matters to you might be right under your nose

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Mᴇᴡɴɪ
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
I've never felt stuck because I knew wherever I was in life was my own doing.

You learn how to list your priorities better once you mature. Some people throw everything away for relationships because they prioritize it above everything else. Which I feel is a huge mistake and it hurts my heart when I see people who had a bright future throw it all away to live in some crappy apartment with their "lover".

They say idle hands is the devil's playground. You won't always be the same person you were yesterday. Your interests will change like the snap of a finger, some interest stay forever but it's initially up to you to decide what you really want in life. I may be a bit biased about certain things, but, how I see it is it's really important to make sure you stay well-rounded. Make a list if you have too. Maybe try new things, yadda yadda, I lost a lot of interests and it may make you feel empty but remember with change comes promise.

There may be nothing you feel like doing now, but try not to become stagnant. Don't despair because if you're self-reflecting this much already, trust me you have nothing to fear. If you are thinking negatively that there is nothing else life has to offer, you're very mistaken.

Wow I bored myself. lol
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23 / M / Birmingham, UK
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Posted 2/27/17
Life always changes for better or worse but sometimes the change can be slow and it leaves people feeling stuck but it's important to not get bogged down with it, especially at your age (not that I'm exactly an old experienced man myself) Focus on what you have now, think about where you want to go in life, you may not find a clear answer yet but even a slight fascination to something can put you on the path you need.

For me I felt stuck when I couldn't figure out what job I wanted after I left education, I knew I wanted to help people but not how I'd do it, I grabbed a job (which I'm still working) to fill the gap in the meantime. Eventually I came to realize I wanted to help people by healing them and so I began studying to become a doctor, I'm still studying even now, it's a long road but what I'm trying to say is the path you want to take may not be obvious but don't fret, just live in the now, enjoy life, earn some money if you want with a part-time job and keep thinking about what your plan for life is, the feeling of being stuck will fade as you press on and if it means anything to anyone I'm happy to talk to you guys about such issues if only to help you find your feet in this crazy world
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24 / M / UK
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Posted 2/27/17
Absolutely. Plenty of times. I feel like it's just a normal part of maturing as a person. Feels absolutely awful, but it never lasts. Hell, even right now I don't know what I want to do with my life. I just don't dwell on it any more; I have a current goal to achieve and I know that I'll probably figure things out along the way.

If you're looking for advice, just... live. Live and try not to have these thoughts, because frankly there's practically no way that a 16 year old could actually know what they're doing in life. Do things that seem important to you at the time, but don't feel bad for putting things off or ignoring them completely. Guilt only leads to further procrastination, in my experience. You're young, you have a lot of life left in you. There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slow or putting something on hold. It's more important to feel comfortable with your own life. Also, as mentioned, trying new things and acquiring new hobbies might help to give you a sense of purpose, but I wouldn't rely on hobbies for this. It's a temporary measure, IMO.
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Posted 2/27/17
Me every day. kill me
Cenric 
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Posted 2/27/17
This has been the story of my life for years now. There have been plenty of periods where I got myself depressed largely over this question, into a state where nothing is fun and nothing matters. These questions are the reason we have Philosophy in the first place, everyone alive have asked them at some point in their lives. In all honesty it can be almost impossible to get over it, at least it was for me. Years and years of exploring, having no idea what I'm doing only to end up at the same answer I thought I knew before I even started. There is something amazing about exploring though, when you know what's out there and you can't take it anymore, you get a level of certainty to find the answer and believe in it, commit and get over it.
That's my story with it anyway. Feeling like that can be a good thing though it certainly doesn't feel like it. It might take a long time but you will get over it, the feeling itself is nothing to worry about. It also doesn't mean what you're doing right now isn't for you or that it's somehow meaningless, we all just need to wonder and wander sometimes.
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Posted 2/27/17

GrandMasterTime

Good food? Games? Sports? Destroying people mind and soul at activities?


Pretty much good food, porn, and music. but that's it man
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28 / M / UK
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Posted 2/27/17
I feel a bit stuck now. for the last couple of years at least. I've decided quite recently that I may be able to do manga/comics by myself if I worked at it but I just find myself doing the same things all the time - work, which I hate doing, anime n vidya, which are things I enjoy for a few hours when I'm not in work, and that's pretty much it apart from housework and food.

I don't really have any friends and I haven't been in a relationship in years, I'd like to move on from what feels like the same pattern but then I find myself distracted and feel like I'd never improve on the things that will make a change. like I've said, I'd like to do comics because they usually result in something different, the content changes, those who read it give all sorts of reactions, but I currently work in a factory feeling the hamster wheel never stops. management always pushing for more work, stuck with more of the same, repeating myself but something needs to change, and if it does I feel I can leave the job, the part of my life that feels most anchored to a rut, behind.
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