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Post Reply Stuck or idle in life.
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25 / F / United States, DE
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Posted 2/27/17
I think almost everyone has felt that way at some point.

You sound like you are actually depressed. One of the key signs of depression is a lack of interest in things you once enjoyed. And/or nothing excites you anymore, or life in general seems pretty dull or you feel a general sense of 'despair'.
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17

VeggyZ wrote:

(lol... I didn't think I typed this much until I hit post... sorry about that, it's kinda my thing)

It's part of the process of figuring out what you actually want in life - but you don't have to hurry. You feel stuck because the everyday-life thing is getting to you. In my case, I never figured out what I wanted to do career or study-wise, and it bothered me for a long time. I wasn't good with people and not really good with the ladies either. I struggled to find my niche and went through phases where I "abandoned" hobbies that I really do love, I stopped talking to some of the only people I ever talked to at all, and I think it was because I was searching for some kind of change, I wasn't satisfied with going nowhere and I wasn't really satisfied with myself for feeling so mundane... and I think subconsciously I was trying to force it.

It changed for me - and don't follow my specific example - but it changed for me when one day I was under the influence of psychedelics. I wasn't trying to use them to find some answer, they weren't my intended solution and they aren't what guided me, so don't mistake what I'm saying. I don't encourage this because that's a shady area if you're dealing with anyone who doesn't know precisely what they're talking about - which is almost everyone, and it could be bad for your health. It's also not really necessary... but there it is, I'll explain.

I was tripping with a friend and it was about sunrise. We were sitting on my backyard deck and watching the sunlight hit the tops of the trees - neither of us speaking. I was lost in thought, thinking about the why's of life, and a breeze blew. I felt the breeze, then I saw the leaves in the trees across the drainage ditch rustle, and started surveying my surroundings. It was partly because of the drugs, but I felt a profound connection with the non-human life around me. I felt how good the trees felt that morning, as the sunlight hit them and the cool breeze blew against them, even though they spend their entire lives in one spot, totally reliant on nature to sustain them. The connection I felt with the world at that point made me realize why I'm alive. I know it's not a very helpful reason, but it was to notice and enjoy all those things I took for granted, that had always been there. This is such a hippie thing to say, but I felt the trees and the flowers happiness, at something as simple as a breeze and a ray of light, and I wondered what my problem was? Why wasn't it like that for me, and why couldn't I appreciate those things the same way.

And then I did - it seems like a silly epiphany (and it wasn't an immediate change), but I walked away from that experience with a different mindset. It's hard to put into words, but I feel like I exist to enjoy the world. I don't mean that in the sense that I seek as much pleasure or enjoyment as possible - it's not about getting into things that make you feel good, but feeling good about the things you're into. The more I tried to appreciate all the things I never really cared about the more I enjoyed myself and the better I felt about who I was. Over time, it gave me a sense of the world and the things around me that I don't believe I would have considered or noticed before, thus finding my "place".

I'm definitely not there yet, I'm not completely satisfied with my life and there are plenty of things I want to change - as well as some I don't ever want to change, but it's honestly all the mindset. It's an easy thing to say "change your way of thinking" and an entirely different one to do so, but for me personally, the more I took in the little details, the more ...easily... the change came. What I can say is that drugs are definitely not "the answer" - they may have helped me but I also may have permanently harmed my body in doing so. My conclusion could have come from something as simple as meditation, or just occurred to me one day - psychedelics force a change on your psyche and your perception, for better or worse, but are not really the force behind the change. I believe what they did was help me notice what I had to appreciate, but could just as easily have distracted me from it if circumstance was different.

It's been an ongoing battle and I suspect it always will be, but I'm able to be much more content since I changed my thinking, even when times are tough, there are a million things around me to appreciate at all times, even when I'm alone, I still feel like I'm moving forward.

Sorry if this wasn't much help, it's more or less me rambling but I do know one thing - when I die, and look back on my life, there is likely only one thing I'm going to care about at that point, and that's whether or not the experience was fulfilling, and whether I had some fun. Take everything you can from every experience - if I've done that I'll ultimately be satisfied, because there is a LOT of good to the world, even with it in it's current state.

Well, I typed this up, so I may as well hit "Post Reply" ... sorry if it's not helpful at all, and not what you were looking for, but it is most definitely how I found myself when I was feeling lost, or stuck, and even now that I don't take psychedelic's, that mindset contents me and reassures my direction in life, wherever that direction ends up.



Well spoken. This simple practice of attention to detail, inward and outward, is really what makes change possible. You dig down deep to understand what makes you feel good and bad and everything else. You find so much to appreciate in the outside world from this introspection. Mindfulness meditation essentially is essentially a training that enforces this as habit. Becoming more alive and gaining momentum are far less difficult if you practice often! I'll take this moment to plug a book that really helped me understand mindfulness and its practice, "The Mindful Geek" by Michael W. Taft.
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27 / F / West Friendship,...
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Posted 2/27/17
I'm pretty sure that I'm stuck in life atm. It's just a matter of saving money and being able to drive.
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25 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 2/27/17
You shouldn't Idle so much, its bad for your body.

They think they are idle, because they look at the lives of others, and they try to reach * Expectations * Brought on by the ones who we ultimately look towards in this given situation.... The one called life, the provider.

The only thing you must ask yourself..... What can I provide for myself, what are the opportunities I can make for myself. Independent choices that lead to one of two things, Struggle, and Success.

what must we do to measure success; to defy all reason in order to find ourselves in the process.

Stuck in Idle for long enough you become locked in to your own self destruction.

Find a reason to move even if its worth a shot, because standing still only makes you look lost in a world where there are people just waiting to meet you for reasons we cant explain, we want to live a life of promise and purpose, but the only way we can achieve that is by moving forward step by step, break out of your shell.
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Posted 2/27/17
What stuck imm frequently spinning
Posted 2/27/17

HateKillingCamels wrote:

Me every day. Kill me.


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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
I can not say I truly know how it feels to be stuck in life because I am still young. However I do believe I have a good idea.

Abstract:

A man who flew too close to the sun.

Prelude:

All through High School I knew I wanted to go into the military. I wanted the structure, the directive, and most of all to get away from the small rural town I am from. After high school I went to a recruiter , I went through MEPS, and I scored high enough on both the ASVAB and physical portions of the examination to have every job including NF open to me (Yes I was looking into Navy) with no notable mental issues by the doctors who examined me at the station. Of course I went after NF which requires an extensive background check and is done in the months before your departure.

A few months before my start date I got a letter telling me that they had found disqualifying criteria and I was no longer eligible for any service.

Answer:

So I went from having a whole life planned to what amounts to a tripping halfway through a mile run or crashing a car halfway to your destination.

I am too far in life to rebound quickly and too new at life to have an endgame. I use the word "life" as a reference to the transition from childhood into adult living.

So what did I do? I went to college. Of course I started in a Community College to keep cost low. This brings me to where I am at now. I am spending money to be taught things that I had learned in my sophomore year in high school looking to transfer into a four year where I will spend my time learning skills that will open doors to higher paying jobs knowing that those higher wages will only go towards paying back the funds I will need to borrow to get the education in the first place.

The end result is me changing from a good guy who had a clear goal, ideals, and drive into a guy who feels betrayed by those ideals.

Even when I am seemingly moving forward in life by seeking an education. I believe that "Stuck" or "Idle" feeling amounts to the feelings or "drive" we have behind us to move forward. Mine never fully recovered. So I believe I am "Stuck". I make straight A's but I do not like it. My goal in life went from wanting to do something amazing to wanting to do just enough to get by. An accurate way of stating it would be "Giving up". or "Loss of desire" or "Lack of want".

So the solution to this problem is finding something that makes you want to move forward with everything you have and the sad truth is that things like that are rare.



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27 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 2/27/17
Yeah, I feel like I am extending my college years until the end of time just because I have nothing better to do.
It's a good part of the reason why I'm still hanging around grad school, don't really have a plan and figured I might as well do something productive with my time. Idk, I guess I always figured I'd be married by this point, that didn't pan out, most of my friends moved away and I'm doing basically the same thing I was doing 8 years ago. I often wonder what's the point for all of the hard work and sleepless nights, I don't really have an end game at this point. I keep climbing the academic and career ladders, but feels like all of it is meaningless.
Now I'm even saving up for a house, but I don't even know whether or not I want one or if I'm just setting larger and larger goals to have a reason to keep moving forward.

Oh well, worst comes to worst, I'll eventually cash out and go teach English overseas again for some more sightseeing and soul searching.
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21 / O / US
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Posted 2/27/17 , edited 2/27/17
This. I feel this so much. I want to do something with art. And I know I won't be successful without a side job, but that's not stopping me. Or that's what I used to say. But now, I don't have ANY motivation to do anything I love any more, including drawing. And that makes me feel pretty shitty.

All I do any more outside of work is sit around and watch Netflix or anime or play video games. That's LITERALLY all I do. It's not necessarily a bad thing to do those things, but I'm making zero progress with my career/future career. I'm nearly 20 years old. This is it. I'm wasting my life away, at such a young, spry age. I'm a piece of shit. You're young. You've got your whole life ahead of ya. Don't be like me, MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT.

... I'm pretty young, too. Maybe I'm just being overdramatic.
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39 / Inside your compu...
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Posted 2/27/17
Nope fine with the way my life is
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Posted 2/27/17

LunaTakimoto wrote:

Have you ever felt... stuck in life?

I'm not really sure how to explain this but I have this feeling of... I'm not sure... but its strange.

I've felt idle or stuck in life. I've been asking more of... "What am I doing?" or "Why am I doing this?" types of questions. These questions occur mostly when I'm not doing anything at all. I have been recently ignoring some of the most important things to me and I'm not sure why. Its not intentional to ignore it but it just occurs and it leaves me with a feeling of despair. And then that leads to questioning myself on what I'm doing. It just feels as if I'm stuck or idle in life. I'm sure I'll figure out to fix this but at this moment I'm just... unsure.

So have you ever felt idle or stuck in life? If so what was it like?



Be careful, friend.

Thoughts like that can lead you down the rabbit hole of madness, & depression.

However, --your thoughts--- they aren't strange at all!

Questioning your own life is something everyone does, eventually.

Some know what they want to do.

Some don't & hope on the chance that things will all work out somehow.

Me? I've felt so dispirited by not knowing life's purpose that I nearly burned out. Being stuck in melancholy is both bliss, & a curse. Like knowing you can do anything, but doing nothing at all. Squandering life itself.

Yet you know what I realized?

It's not worth overthinking. lol

Mixing yourself up in your mind, & trying to find answers to everything isn't fun at all.

Instead you should ask yourself--- What do you want to do?

What do you want to do so badly that the gears in your life start moving again
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