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Is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" ?
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22 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
Yes, there's such a thing as being too nice. It's not so much that all people who are exceptionally nice are doormats, but rather that other people assume they are. Sometimes people who are too nice are shy and do end up getting walked all over, but sometimes they're not shy and draw a clear line when fake friends try to boss them around. The problem is that, whether or not nice people are actually doormats, shitty people assume they will be easy to wall all over and so nice people tend to attract fake friends.

Also, it seems like people tend to be suspicious of nice people or that their niceness somehow equals stupidity.
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
Depends on how one defines being too "nice" and additionally on the person perceiving it. The word "nice" has a very long semantic history, and to claim only a single definition is a falsehood in foundation.

It's an opinionated answer that varies upon the uncertain perception of the people involved.

Personally, and perhaps very cynically, I find people that claim to be too kind or nice often have low self esteem issues or are pandering to other individuals due to hidden motives (social status). They're not often being nice out of the pure intent of aiding another, but often--rather--to support their own value of self or to avoid pain inflicted upon self (avoid viewing themselves and others viewing them as the 'bad guy'--avoiding the feeling of being the 'bad guy').



So, personally, I appreciate those willing to inflict pain upon themselves to offer honesty as being a better depiction of kindness--rather than the typical depiction of the overly pleasing.
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
It's only an issue imo if you have no backbone and don't stick up for yourself. My grandmother who was my biggest influence in my life was probably the nicest/sweetest person I ever knew. However, when it came to certain issues/stances she would put the hammer down. I always admired that trait of hers.
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
You can be too nice without being stupid.

Be too nice and too kind to the people who deserve it but be a snake to others.
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
Thanks for the comments, everyone.
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
being too nice will likely mean your letting people taking advantage and abuse your kindness towards likely resulting in harm to you and possibly other people
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27 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
Well I know in the work world if you are overly nice/kind people will start to dump all the crap they don't want to deal with on you. Basically, if you are too nice to people who don't really deserve it you start to set yourself up as a sucker. While being nice is ideal, don''t be afraid to fight back and speak up when the situation warrants it.
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23 / F / UK
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
Unfortunately i am one othese people and i never learn, like i spend all my money on other people even when they dont ask me too, im increadibly poor but if i see my friends unhappy i will go out of my way to buy them things and then i will go without food because of this. But i love making people happy and seeing their faces when i give them gifts.
I also have tendancy to give away my stuff to people who dont have them, even my anime stuff that costs me a fortune, i act like i dont care about them and just give them away but im heart broken inside, yet i still do it?... i own next to nothing anymore XD
Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

DrunkKanti wrote:

Yes, there is. I've learned from experience that if you let them, people will walk all over you.


^
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Wherever
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

RainysPlanet wrote:

Unfortunately i am one othese people and i never learn, like i spend all my money on other people even when they dont ask me too, im increadibly poor but if i see my friends unhappy i will go out of my way to buy them things and then i will go without food because of this. But i love making people happy and seeing their faces when i give them gifts.
I also have tendancy to give away my stuff to people who dont have them, even my anime stuff that costs me a fortune, i act like i dont care about them and just give them away but im heart broken inside, yet i still do it?... i own next to nothing anymore XD


Rip
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25 / M / Montreal,Quebec,...
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

Burumazafakka wrote:

Well, I'm always too nice which is why I never get a long term relationship.Seems like women just want to be mistreated.


Of course, they want you to assert your dominance.
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22 / MtF / PA
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17
It sounds edgy, but being kind is just another way of influencing the things around you to the way you want them to be. It is a tool, and people have different opinions on where and when it should be used. I believe it should be used sparingly and mainly in two ways--to keep the peace (getting along with peers in a nice way) and to promote desirable traits and people with those traits.

Being "too nice" just means someone is using kindness in a way you don't want them to.
Ejanss 
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

So, is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" of a person?


Oh, Lorreen?...This person has a question for you.
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

Ejanss wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

So, is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" of a person?


Oh, Lorreen?...This person has a question for you.


Ejanss 
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Posted 3/17/17 , edited 3/17/17

qualeshia3 wrote:


Ejanss wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

So, is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" of a person?


Oh, Lorreen?...This person has a question for you.




(Ie., you can be "too nice" if you're an Internet moderator who can't bear to be, gasp, mean to anyone...Might as well both ruin the punchline.)
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