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Post Reply Is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" ?
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Posted 3/20/17 , edited 3/20/17

YayForKittens wrote:

No there is no limit. We need more unlimited kindness in the world.



I would disagree. Unlimited kindness is a crutch and you're doing others a disservice by compensating for what they should be working towards being self-sufficient in. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good to do nice things for people, but only for the intent of getting them to not need it later. If they always have you to fall back on, why put in the effort? You're just going to pick up their slack over and over again until it burns you. Then you're not helping anyone at that point.

That being said, never do anything for free if you can help it. Keeps everyone honest about their expectations.
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F / Antique bookshop
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Posted 3/21/17
there's always a limit isn't there ?
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Posted 3/22/17

Burumazafakka wrote:

Well, I'm always too nice which is why I never get a long term relationship.Seems like women just want to be mistreated.


I am curious as to what you mean?
Do you mean women get mad at you because you are "too nice" to other women??
Posted 3/22/17
Of course there is. There is a difference between respecting and being friendly to being overly kind like some kind of white knight. Dont be too kind like overly kind.
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Posted 3/23/17
Where did I say other women? No, I'm not a cheater, I don't have eyes for other women when I'm in a relationship.when I have something good I don't ever want it to fade away. The "nice guy" always ends up getting with women once their older and after they have already experienced all the jerks.
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Posted 3/23/17

eggrollsama wrote:

YES

listen

If you are being treated like shit & don't stand up for yourself then you are being too nice.
Lay down the fuc*n Law & do something about it.



I never thought of it that way needing to stand up myself, when people insulted me I feel nothing..and knowing that their intention is to get you upset and make you strike him/her.. That is their purpose. Why lower yourself to his/her level? I mean if it doesn't bother you.. Just simply ignored her/him.

Well before I was 18 year old, I just knock his ass down on the ground, I let my fist do the talking.. But now that I'm over age of 18 I can't be doing that anymore because that will landed me in Jail! XD

Insults toward me bounce off in different direction.. I just simply don't let it bother me! I tell them i don't care if they insult me as long they don't insult my in game wife/gf (role playing game). I get protective of other people I care about, but not me! -scratches head-
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Posted 3/23/17

DrunkKanti wrote:

Yes, there is. I've learned from experience that if you let them, people will walk all over you.
Kill them with kindness
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Posted 3/23/17
No there's nothing wrong with being nice or kind you just need to make sure your pouring your energy into someone that wants to accept it and nurture it. You just have to be careful because if your energy is being wasted on someone not receiving it positively then you may get irritated and it turns you into something else.
Anrita 
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Posted 3/23/17
If you're nice to people regardless of their behavior, you can easily enable/encourage bad behavior from them. It's very nice to offer someone food and shelter by taking them into your home, but if that person is a serial killer, you could be helping them kill hundreds of people as a result, and earning yourself a nice long jail sentence in the process. That's an extreme example, but the principal holds for even the most mild situations.

When I was young and naive, I once read "It pays to be nice, even to mean people." I took this to heart, but with experience comes wisdom, and I now realize it was bad advice.
Posted 3/23/17
Not in my opinion unless the person being talked to was committed a serious offense against the "too nice" person. I have been accused as too nice though, so my opinion is slightly biased.
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Posted 4/15/17
yes !!!
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Posted 4/15/17 , edited 4/15/17
It really just depends on the person, since everyone has different expectations of how people will treat them. If you are nice to someone who grew up in a rough neighbourhood they will probably think you are a freak or con artist. On the flip side, if you are nice to someone that grew up in a tight knit community where everyone looks out for each other, for example a christian community where 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' is practiced, then they would think being nice is normal. (Those are extreme generalisations by the way, I don't mean to say you won't find nice and kind people in rough neighbourhoods etc.)

Since most people fall somewhere in the middle, your better off controlling yourself if you feel the urge to do or say nice things until you get to know them better and figure out what their 'niceness' limit is (that is if you feel you 'must' be nice of course)
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101 / M
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Posted 4/15/17
-sighs- -raise hand- I'm one of them! That why I'm alway the victem. I'm seriously thinking about carrying Sword, I need police special permission.. and yes I'm Shinsengumi!

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35 / Lost.
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Posted 4/15/17
Depends on when and how it's used.
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17 / USA
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Posted 4/15/17
I think you can't be too nice but if it is fake then it kinda makes me angry.
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