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Post Reply Is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" ?
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21 / F / Uk
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Posted 4/16/17
when you're too nice and are seen as a pushover
Don't let that shit happen, you shouldn't have to deal with bs like that
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M / Australia
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Posted 4/16/17
Yes. I have experienced it personally. If you're too kind you will (by some) get taken for granted and taken advantage of.
Some people are just straight up dogs that will straight dog you if you're nice enough to lend them money.
If you're always lending stuff out, you wont get all of it back or not anytime soon or not in the same condition that it was in, etc
If you're always lending out money you will not get all of it back.
If you're always doing people favours people will keep on asking you for favours and some will come to expect them and ask for them regulary or for bigger ones and not be at all shy or ashamed to ask.
Being too nice is a weakness, it often means that you are too trusting, too forgiving, are nice to people who do not deserve it, help people who dont deserve it.
Being nice can actually be bad in other ways as well. Like say you keep helping someone who blows all their money or drugs or gambling or keeps getting into trouble with the law, you're actually not really helpng them, you're preventing them from ever changing.

Plus there is the whole "nice guys finish last" thing with women as well. And this is very often very true.

Then there are other examples such as now, western countries, countires run by PC lefty governments, all these SJW weirdo's, look at what being "nice' has done for places like Sweden...

Kindness unfortunately is something that people expolit and use to their advantages and really is a weakness.
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Posted 4/16/17
Yes. To keep from being "too nice" really consider how sad it would be if you were hurt by something (just as if someone else was hurt).

For my part, I want to find kinder words and phrases to help encourage other people. I just can't ever seem to find the right words...
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28 / F / The state of Wash...
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Posted 4/16/17
yes. you can be too nice. when that happens people take you for a fool.
Posted 4/16/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

So, is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" of a person?

When is niceness and kindness acceptable? Can being too nice and/or kind show people that you are an easy target?

Are you too nice and/or kind but want to change that?


What do you think?


1.) Yes.
2.) It depends on the circumstances.
3.) If you're a walking doormat, yes.
4.) I can't say.
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16 / M / Australia, Victoria
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Posted 4/17/17
I think there is such a thing as being too nice. Maybe the term of being "too nice" is just a sugarcoated form of "low-self esteem", or maybe it's someone who does it in such a Mary-Sue kind of way that it's unnerving and uncanny. I've met people from both of those sides, and I don't think either is particularly healthy. Like what people have mentioned before, you can be nice, but you can also be yourself. Just don't be a cunt or a doormat.
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32 / M / Behind You With A...
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Posted 4/17/17
absolutely. being too nice is a terrible flaw.

and as a guy, being too nice absolutely repulses women. they seem incapable of admitting it, and will go out of their way to deny it by flooding their social media accounts with inspirational quotes, but nothing dries them up faster than being too nice.
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18 / F / USA
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Posted 4/28/17
Yes, because then people can take advantage of you and being nice and cheerful is great but too much can get annoying.
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17 / M / USA
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Posted 4/29/17
I'd say if people take advantage of you without standing up for yourself then it might be 'too nice'. But as long as you stand your ground, I don't think it's an issue
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16 / M / The Shire, England
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Posted 4/29/17
Just don't let people use you for selfish gain.
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51 / M / Inside the Anime...
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Posted 4/29/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

So, is there a such thing as being "too nice/kind" of a person?

When is niceness and kindness acceptable? Can being too nice and/or kind show people that you are an easy target?

Are you too nice and/or kind but want to change that?


What do you think?


No such thing as someone who is too kind or nice. However the opposite is true. The only reason this question comes up is because there are too many assholes and jerks on this Earth, not the other way around. Being kind is a virtue. It's the assholes who spoil it for nice people.
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Posted 4/30/17 , edited 4/30/17
Here's the thing about humans. By nature we are a very aggressive species. When we see something that is weak our natural desire is to bring some form of destruction/discomfort to it.

A perfect example:

When we see something cute/adorable our natural desire is to well...hurt it. The desire to squeeze and or aggressively show affection to something weaker than our self would inevitably harm it.

So the same can be said about someone that is "nice". We all like nice people, however we humans will exploit it for our own personal gain. We humans are selfish beings and if there is a way for us to use a particular resource for our own personal gain we will.

Overly kind people are often seen a a "resource" because all they do is give. Once that tap has run dry though (aka a person realizing they need to grow a backbone) they will move on to the next resource that they can find/use.

The saying "its the survival of the fittest" isn't around for nothing. You either become aware of the game that is life or become consumed by the aggressive and over powering stressors of life.
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23 / F / Wilderness
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Posted 5/17/17
You won't get anywhere if you're not a bit nice.
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Posted 5/17/17 , edited 5/17/17

SnipeStar wrote:

absolutely. being too nice is a terrible flaw.

and as a guy, being too nice absolutely repulses women. they seem incapable of admitting it, and will go out of their way to deny it by flooding their social media accounts with inspirational quotes, but nothing dries them up faster than being too nice.


Well, it holds true for MOST women, not all. But tbh most of those women that can't appreciate a nice guy haven't gone through enough asshats in their lives quite yet. But you are right, being consistently nice time and time again, well, you're just digging your own grave; I've had a few friends that are living proof of that. At the same time, I've been nothing but nice to every lady I've dated, so who knows. I guess... just don't cross that "wow I'm pathetic" threshold?
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