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Post Reply Lets your stress out
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/20/17 , edited 3/20/17
So I created this topic because I personally have alot going on in my life and I felt this website might be able to help since most anime watchers I personally know are really great people.

So how about I start off this page with whats going on with me.

So about a couple of weeks ago and friend of mine was on discord and was facing serious depression that day. Btw the day was miserable and there was a terrible thunderstorm.
So I arrive at her dorm ( im in college btw), and we chill watching kdrama while shes doing hw and eventually the storm picks up badly. The thunder starts happening and she starts to curl up into a ball makes like sad noise so i gave her a hug to calm her down or make her feel ok.
So more time goes by and we end up slightly cuddling in her bed, nothing sexual about it because she had a bf at this point and I would never pull a move on her like that ( besides im not interested in her that way anyway)
So time goes by nothing sexual happens of course, and he friend shows up happy as can be.

Eventually I leave to go back to my dorm since I figured her friend had her depression under controll then.

A couple days go by I meet up with her at the video game club on campus( i run the club btw ), nothing weird happening,
then a few days go by I see her at the cafe ( a friend of hers with her) I say hello and her friend yells at me to stay away , I end up texting her whats wrong and she replied

" i dont know"
eventually a third party comes in and tells me that she thought I was going to rape her or sexually assault her.

Now thats a bold statement to say at someone, What made it so difficult for me is that I am someone who has been in that situation ( by that I mean I myself have been raped before ) to accuse someone who has been raped that someone thought I was gonna rape her seriously messed me up.

And that is just one of my issues I'm facing right now.
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48 / M / On a bed of nails...
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17
Unfortunately, I think you have to write that relationship off. At this point there is nothing you can say to make it better. Remember, no act of kindness goes in punished! Just move on knowing that you didn't ​do anything. BTW, if I walked in on my GF laying in bed with another guy it wouldn't end well... That was poor judgement on your part. If she was a childhood friend or family then maybe, but even that would be questionable.
llunga 
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17

Drama queens. Stay away from them. Also don't cuddle people who are in relationships.
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22 / AH / Helipad
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 10/23/17
I know this is your friend and you probably care about her even though she said something awful about you, but I don't know her personally so please don't be offended by this: she sounds like a poisonous person.

Poisonous people aren't necessarily bad people, but they hurt those who are close to them. Sometimes they can be kind or funny, but they are fundamentally selfish. They demand more attention and support from their friends than they are willing to give in return. They expect you to prioritize their feelings, but they don't consider your feelings in the slightest when they say hurtful words. They will wreck you emotionally and pretend not to notice. Sometimes, they are so oblivious and selfish that they really don't notice they're hurting other people.
I am inclined not to believe you when you say you don't have feelings for her romantically. Her having a boyfriend doesn't necessarily determine how you feel about her. But I'm inclined not to trust people in general, which often taints my observations of people, so I will assume you mean it when you say you have no romantic feelings for her. Even if you have no feeling for her, you should not have hugged her. She could have gotten the idea that you had feelings for her (although I suppose she did, in an extreme way). Also, how would you like it if you walked in the room and found your girlfriend snuggling with her guy best friend? You probably wouldn't like it, even if you trusted your girlfriend completely. If you forgive her, keep the boundaries more clearly defined next time. If you don't forgive her, make sure it is a clean break.
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21 / F / FL
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17
Stress?

I don't want another part-time job that makes me uncomftorable like the last
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M
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17

DrewSaidWhat wrote:

So I created this topic because I personally have alot going on in my life and I felt this website might be able to help since most anime watchers I personally know are really great people.

So how about I start off this page with whats going on with me.

So about a couple of weeks ago and friend of mine was on discord and was facing serious depression that day. Btw the day was miserable and there was a terrible thunderstorm.
So I arrive at her dorm ( im in college btw), and we chill watching kdrama while shes doing hw and eventually the storm picks up badly. The thunder starts happening and she starts to curl up into a ball makes like sad noise so i gave her a hug to calm her down or make her feel ok.
So more time goes by and we end up slightly cuddling in her bed, nothing sexual about it because she had a bf at this point and I would never pull a move on her like that ( besides im not interested in her that way anyway)
So time goes by nothing sexual happens of course, and he friend shows up happy as can be.

Eventually I leave to go back to my dorm since I figured her friend had her depression under controll then.

A couple days go by I meet up with her at the video game club on campus( i run the club btw ), nothing weird happening,
then a few days go by I see her at the cafe ( a friend of hers with her) I say hello and her friend yells at me to stay away , I end up texting her whats wrong and she replied

" i dont know"
eventually a third party comes in and tells me that she thought I was going to rape her or sexually assault her.

Now thats a bold statement to say at someone, What made it so difficult for me is that I am someone who has been in that situation ( by that I mean I myself have been raped before ) to accuse someone who has been raped that someone thought I was gonna rape her seriously messed me up.

And that is just one of my issues I'm facing right now.


I would say that it wasn't a good move even if you thought it would calm her down. A friendly hug is fine... but cuddling on her bed is something else. I'm not questioning your motives at all, I'm just saying the action itself is probably something that would get you KO'd by a lot of boyfriends.

As for your friendship with this women, I'd sadly have to say that it's doomed. Once something like rape gets thrown into the mix, there's really no fixing it. It sounds like she has a ton of issues she needs to sort out with herself. Let her boyfriend deal with it, and remove yourself from that dangerous situation.
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gone
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17
She seems like the type of person that wants people to pity and/or take care of her so she looks for anything she can to have people pay attention to her, and right now she's saying that to justify you being so close to her in a way that she can be innocent and cared for but at the same time leaving an opening to fix your friendship ("i thought" "i wasn't thinking straight"). Very manipulative.

My stress? I was diagnosed with gastritis/acid reflux Saturday, when I puked that whole night up until 9am Sunday (the 5th) . I haven't gone to college since then because I've lost like 16 pounds (I'm at 93lbs atm), I cant stand up for too long because I have no energy and I can barely eat anything. I even had to quit my job because I have no idea when I'll get better. One wrong move (which has happened) and I'll end up puking and in pain for 10 straight hours, resetting any healing to my stomach i had. All I eat is scrambled eggs (highlight of my day), a raw potato and sprite/water. The cravings I'm getting for real food are absolutely killing me. I want chips, cheese, meat, sweets, iced tea, coffee, coke, pizza, anything with flavor. I know I'll heal but its driving me crazy, and since this illness is stress-related i have to keep my stress levels low or else I'll end up puking again even if I ate something I could. I can't even eat after 8pm. Food has become my enemy and I just wanna kiss and make up with it yknow but the treatment takes sooo looong.
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/21/17
Damn, im very sorry to here than. I wish I could relate to say soemthing that could help but all I can think is that being able to face this head on is hard. Ive never had a situation like that, even though serious diseases run in my family, like diabetes, heart disease and a bunch more. Dealing with something to happen so fast must be hard and I seriously do wish I could help and give encouragement, all I can do listen and hope just talking about it will help! Hang in there!
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Posted 3/21/17 , edited 3/22/17


it's okay! Eventually I'll be able to eat all the cake I want again. Plus, there's vegan options in the meantime, hopefully I can find a vegan bakery nearby
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/22/17 , edited 3/23/17
Yea ive been noticing that with both sides screwing up and i'll agree I probably could have handled that situation better. I just didnt think of her in the way so I didnt pass me. I appreciate it though! thank you for listening
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/22/17 , edited 3/23/17
one of the best things ive ever eaten was Vegan Mac n Cheese
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/22/17 , edited 3/23/17
im sorry to hear that happened, ive never really enjoyed all of my jobs so far either.
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/22/17 , edited 3/23/17
i can relate im currently realizing how much I have been slacking and become behind due to depression. It has seriously put a hold ony my studies and making anything hard to focus!
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23 / New Jersey
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Posted 3/22/17 , edited 3/23/17
interestingly enough like 3 days later she broke up with him and on that day she told me she was gonna break up with him. But still i can see if any person dating someone walking on them cuddling would make ayone freak
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21 / F / FL
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Posted 5/15/17 , edited 5/16/17
My face is numb
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