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Post Reply What is it like for someone who can't accept happiness?
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 3/24/17 , edited 3/24/17
Do you know what it's like for someone who can't accept any form of happiness? Are you someone who is unwilling to accept being happy? What is it like to feel that way? Why do people feel that way?


What are your thoughts on this? Please speak freely.
Humms 
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Posted 3/24/17
Oh you mean my brother.


I guess you just get tired of it and walk away. I try, and I fucking try, but he's just as stubborn as me so you can't fucking win!

At least I'm stubborn and happy.

Just picture driving someone in your car, and they turn off your music, switch Your equalizer treble and bass as they begin to tell you how his way sounds better, and if you try to change it back he just turns it off.

That sums up our relationship

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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 3/24/17

Humms wrote:

Oh you mean my brother.


I guess you just get tired of it and walk away. I try, and I fucking try, but he's just as stubborn as me so you can't fucking win!

At least I'm stubborn and happy.

Just picture driving someone in your car, and they turn off your music, switch Your equalizer treble and bass as they begin to tell you how his way sounds better, and if you try to change it back he just turns it off.

That sums up our relationship



Are you older or younger than your brother?
Humms 
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Posted 3/24/17

qualeshia3 wrote:


Humms wrote:

Oh you mean my brother.


I guess you just get tired of it and walk away. I try, and I fucking try, but he's just as stubborn as me so you can't fucking win!

At least I'm stubborn and happy.

Just picture driving someone in your car, and they turn off your music, switch Your equalizer treble and bass as they begin to tell you how his way sounds better, and if you try to change it back he just turns it off.

That sums up our relationship



Are you older or younger than your brother?


Younger. I probably know more about his life than he does himself.

Ejanss 
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Posted 3/24/17 , edited 3/24/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

Do you know what it's like for someone who can't accept any form of happiness?


I've heard it said it's "like being a eunuch at an orgy"--Ie., it's not what what everyone ELSE is missing that's the problem.
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Posted 3/24/17 , edited 3/24/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

Do you know what it's like for someone who can't accept any form of happiness? Are you someone who is unwilling to accept being happy? What is it like to feel that way? Why do people feel that way?


What are your thoughts on this? Please speak freely.


Depends on what you mean by "accepting happiness." Diagnosed depression makes that hard for some people, it simply is an emotion that's hard to feel at points. I can be pretty pessimistic at times and sometimes I simply cant relate to happiness; resulting in me needing help. Everything sort of feels like you're trapped in styrofoam.

Some people are also just pessimistic thinkers and that's okay.
Sometimes that kind of contrast is good for the world, it certainly helps at my job that I'm the pessimistic one (thinking of all the things that could go wrong and thus thinking of solutions) and another colleague who's positive - resulting in a stronger, more inspired team.

Ying/Yang and all that malarkey.
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 3/24/17 , edited 3/24/17
One reason someone might be afraid of happiness is they feel that happiness will ultimately lead to sadness. When you're depressed or feeling alone sometimes the happy memories are the most bitter ones that hurt the most, and particularly so when you spend most of your time like that. Some people feel it's safer to just shut off completely as much as possible.

I'm pretty pessimistic myself. I'm weary of feeling joy or happiness, but sometimes it just slips through on its own anyways.
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35 / M / SoFlo
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Posted 3/24/17
I know a few of these people. And I'm not talking about depression, but these guys choose to be negative, alone, and bitter towards life. It's exhausting to talk to them and I usually avoid them.
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Hoosierville
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Posted 3/24/17
I know one and its fun to troll him with being happy. If you don't enjoy their misery then they drag you down with them and it becomes an emo fest.

Really I don't get overly happy or sad but I am content with life and things are good. One I stopped believing in the liberal ways and went libertarian/conservative I had a more positive outlook on life. Slowly gotten better and now with Trump in office I get happiness everyday thanks to some liberals being retarded and the president being a troll.
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 3/24/17
Thanks for the comments, cool people.
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Posted 3/25/17
I changed a few years ago, but before that, it was difficult to accept "just" being happy, about anything. It came with being an overachiever and never accepting "good enough" as good enough.

People might wonder how a person could live without happiness. Instead of being content, I had meaning, since the possibility of self-improvement is never-ending. Read in a certain way, a personality that sees the world this way is solipsist and narcissist. It's toxic for relationships, and I eventually had to change.

To know how to make others happy, a person first has to know what happiness is, and that means being able to feel happy. Once that knowledge exists, everything changes, and being obliviously focused on oneself no longer is possible. One either puts others first, or pursues one's own goals selfishly. That's self-awareness, and that's what happiness taught me.
Cenric 
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Posted 3/25/17

mittemeyer wrote:

I changed a few years ago, but before that, it was difficult to accept "just" being happy, about anything. It came with being an overachiever and never accepting "good enough" as good enough.

People might wonder how a person could live without happiness. Instead of being content, I had meaning, since the possibility of self-improvement is never-ending. Read in a certain way, a personality that sees the world this way is solipsist and narcissist. It's toxic for relationships, and I eventually had to change.

To know how to make others happy, a person first has to know what happiness is, and that means being able to feel happy. Once that knowledge exists, everything changes, and being obliviously focused on oneself no longer is possible. One either puts others first, or pursues one's own goals selfishly. That's self-awareness, and that's what happiness taught me.


This is me right now.
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Posted 3/25/17
I don't really get what you mean. It's hard to be so stubborn you can't accept happiness because usually stubbornness comes out of a need to feel right and not to deprive yourself out of an emotion.

I'm very depressed but I'm not sure that's the same thing as "not accepting happiness". I guess it depends on how you look at it.
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Posted 3/25/17 , edited 3/25/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

Do you know what it's like for someone who can't accept any form of happiness? Are you someone who is unwilling to accept being happy? What is it like to feel that way? Why do people feel that way?


What are your thoughts on this? Please speak freely.


They either become a Democrat or a Republican.
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Posted 3/25/17

TheAngryLittleAlchemist wrote:

I don't really get what you mean. It's hard to be so stubborn you can't accept happiness because usually stubbornness comes out of a need to feel right and not to deprive yourself out of an emotion.

I'm very depressed but I'm not sure that's the same thing as "not accepting happiness". I guess it depends on how you look at it.


Inside the teenager box huh? Yeah Ive seen a lot of it. In order to get over it, you have to start on what I say immediately, otherwise this kind of depression will destroy you. Listen carefully. Cut back on all sitting activity, reading, tv, games, music.etc. Why?? because these activities allow a person to be alone and think too much. Start taking a martial arts absolute, it builds body, adjusts hormones and builds a mental fortress. When you start to feel down, train like a crazy person and eventually your body will be trained to react physically to depression by going into action mode, which is the opposite of depression. You don't want to use running or swimming because they allow you to be alone, and the exercise is too simple and allows you to think. Councilors can work, but a lot of the times they can enable your problem by being overly sympathetic or overly harsh. You are still young, you need to condition your depression and train your mind to fight it automatically while you are young. I carry a good dose of manic depression, my daughter was a cutter, and some her friends suffered from depression. It can be controlled and conditioned, it just takes a supreme effort, which is the problem with depression, depression takes away your motivation. Put it this way, I'm depressed right now about work, but I plan on going to my Kung Fu class at 10:30 for some Hung Gar staff set, to beat this feeling out of my body. I can't be locked up like this over work.
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