Moving sticky situation
8431 cr points
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22 / F / Ontario
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Posted 3/27/17 , edited 3/28/17
Okay so I need some advice, but dont want to face the awkward situation.... so here I am.

Well I have agreed to sign a lease with someone and the move in date is not for a while. But, I have come to a great realization that it is highly impracticable for me to move.
Moving would force my bf to leave his job, that he just got a promotion at and friends all for a leap on blind faith. Neither of us have our full licenses and we have a baby. Plus moving leaves his family homeless, since he is currently a main source of income. I haven't even applied to the college yet.
I also made the decision when I was suffering from some mental health issues and not thinking clearly and I've explained this to them.
So I clearly don't see moving practical, but i could be wrong? Or at least they think I am and this is leaving me so unsure of myself and what to do.
Anyways, I have have talked to the landlord about getting off the lease which can be done, but that leaves "roommate" threatening suicide and "living in homeless shelters" when I know they can just stay where they are at. The "roomate" went through a great deal of trouble to get part of the first/last rent, through like city housing. However I said I would reimburse them and this doesn't seem to do. The "roommate" is also being resistant to the idea of finding someone else to stay with.
I basically do not know how to make this "roommate" happy with the idea of staying where they are at or finding someone else to split the rent with.
Their justification is "... don't plan on living here forever and I can't get any more help from the city with last months rent. They didn't even wanna help me with this place. And because I'm month to month I still have to pay last months rent. Which means I move now or in 2 years."
What the heck do I doooo? Advice? I have offered them money and that doesnt seem to work either
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120638 cr points
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F / Boston-ish
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Posted 3/28/17 , edited 3/28/17

XxscuttlebugxX wrote:

Okay so I need some advice, but dont want to face the awkward situation.... so here I am.

Well I have agreed to sign a lease with someone and the move in date is not for a while. But, I have come to a great realization that it is highly impracticable for me to move.
Moving would force my bf to leave his job, that he just got a promotion at and friends all for a leap on blind faith. Neither of us have our full licenses and we have a baby. Plus moving leaves his family homeless, since he is currently a main source of income. I haven't even applied to the college yet.
I also made the decision when I was suffering from some mental health issues and not thinking clearly and I've explained this to them.
So I clearly don't see moving practical, but i could be wrong? Or at least they think I am and this is leaving me so unsure of myself and what to do.
Anyways, I have have talked to the landlord about getting off the lease which can be done, but that leaves "roommate" threatening suicide and "living in homeless shelters" when I know they can just stay where they are at. The "roomate" went through a great deal of trouble to get part of the first/last rent, through like city housing. However I said I would reimburse them and this doesn't seem to do. The "roommate" is also being resistant to the idea of finding someone else to stay with.
I basically do not know how to make this "roommate" happy with the idea of staying where they are at or finding someone else to split the rent with.
Their justification is "... don't plan on living here forever and I can't get any more help from the city with last months rent. They didn't even wanna help me with this place. And because I'm month to month I still have to pay last months rent. Which means I move now or in 2 years."
What the heck do I doooo? Advice? I have offered them money and that doesnt seem to work either


Could you put some effort into helping find them a roommate?

If they outright refuse to consider anyone but you, then that's on them, but especially if they aren't in a very good state of mind right now for taking on the burden of finding a new roommate on their own, if you could get the word to people you know (or otherwise assist with finding a roommate for them), I think that would be helpful to both of you in terms of both the pragmatic and ethical aspects of the situation.

My very first apartment was as a roommate to a friend of a work acquaintance -- the acquaintance was at the time living with her friend as a roommate but decided after a few months that she couldn't afford it and to move back in with her parents. So, she took on the task of advertising for a roommate for her roommate and generally assisting with introductions and so forth to make it happen.
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