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Post Reply Is it weird to hate yourself but somehow like other people?
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Posted 4/6/17
Isn't this pretty common?
I think I also have a tendency to dislike people who are very similar to me. I can see all of my flaws reflected in them, and it almost feels like I'm making their mistakes myself.
Kinda like that secondhand embarrassment you get when you watch someone screw up in a tv show
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Posted 4/6/17
I dont know. Might be if you don't feel like you're living how you want to be, and admire others who seem to be doing what you want instead.

I guess I was like that...before I gained my own sort of independence/confidence. I don't really look at others and compare them directly anymore...or at least, I don't do it in a way that puts myself down. I will put myself down to a certain extent, because I recognize that I need it as motivation to change it.

IE: I see someone who is better looking than me, or funnier than I am, or has some sort of skill/charm that I don't have....In the past, I'd be envious to be the same, but now...I just appreciate them for giving me contrast to how different I am. I'm on my own path, so I can't be down on myself for being at a different stage than someone else.

I just try and emulate the things that I like about others...if it fits. It's not that I'm being deceitful either, because in order to change who you are....you gotta ''fake it until you make it''. Sometimes it's not realistic to do that though. I

f I like the way someone does something different, it might be that they have a very refined set of strengths that allows them to be successful. It's not like I can get down on myself for not being able to do something exactly like someone else even though it seems easy to them. Extreme example: Someone who is really good at drawing. I can't expect to follow the advanced steps that they start out with right off the bat until I mastered the basics. I'll just appreciate the effort that led them up to that point and the natural talent they have instead.

If it's something that I'm not willing to fake, then it's not worth changing. But it still is nice to have the contrast.

The problem is, you can't stand outside yourself to get a proper understanding of who you are. You live inside your own head and see the world from a different perspective than others see you. Things you might not like about yourself, might be something someone else loves about you. And that's not just saying that person has some weird fetishes either...it means that you're misinterpreting how you actually are.

People see themselves as flawed far more than others perceive of them. So just recognize you're being harder on yourself than you need to be. The more you work against whatever's holding you back, the quicker you'll come to a realization that you're focusing on the wrong thing: Other people. It's impossible to apply your own standards to someone else, because you're not seeing the full side of their own anxieties and things they overcame...or even things...they didn't.

Just because someone is capable of doing something or behaving a certain way that seems ''completely out of your ability''....just realize: they probably don't have the same mental hook that you do in order to allow them to behave that way.

EG: When I was younger, I'd be embarrassed about the music that I listened to. I would keep my music playlists hidden from others, because I didn't want people judging me on my music preferences. But then I started running into people that listened to way more retarded and embarrassing music, and they didn't give it a second thought. It wasn't that they had to overcome the same weird anxiety that I had...it never existed for them in the first place. That contrast helped me change my opinion on things.

it can be the same for you. You can look at others as role models for your own change...but recognize: They are just as flawed as you are...even if it doesn't seem like it from your perspective. Nobody is perfect...and that's actually what life is all about. Growing past the things that held you back in the past, and gaining the experience to deal with the new things you're going to come across.
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Posted 4/6/17
Wouldn't know never really hated myself. Hated life at rough points, sure, but myself, never.
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Posted 4/6/17
I think that's grown more common in the last generation, Millennials especially. We're self-deprecating, our humor is dark and hopeless, but we admire others very easily because we compare ourselves and put ourselves down.

I don't like myself because people confide in me all the time, and yet I don't confide in anyone at all. I don't share my feelings and fears while others can, and I feel like that makes me fake. But I actually am horrible. Everyone else is just great, cooler and smarter than I am.
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Posted 4/7/17
Personally, I don't see how you could like someone else while not liking yourself, but maybe that's just me.
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Posted 4/7/17

Is it weird to hate yourself but somehow like other people?


My knee jerk reaction to that question was, "That sounds like low self esteem, to me..."
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Posted 4/7/17
Ya'll need some confidence...

I remember being a teen, low self esteem, and I could give you a different answer back then.

But jeez what age and experience do.
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Posted 4/7/17

saffrongrey wrote:

I think that's grown more common in the last generation, Millennials especially. We're self-deprecating, our humor is dark and hopeless, but we admire others very easily because we compare ourselves and put ourselves down.

I don't like myself because people confide in me all the time, and yet I don't confide in anyone at all. I don't share my feelings and fears while others can, and I feel like that makes me fake. But I actually am horrible. Everyone else is just great, cooler and smarter than I am.


I know your feels. You are not alone feeling this way.
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22 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 4/7/17
Yes. It should be the opposite.

This is the natural order of things.
Posted 4/8/17

qualeshia3 wrote:

However you do it is interesting. But is it weird to strongly dislike yourself but like other people? Is it possible to even do such a thing? What do you think?



Bonus Questions:

1. Do you love yourself along with other people?

2. Do you hate yourself along with other people?


We walk through life with blinders on as to other people and their intentions. But, we see every bit of darkness in ourselves. So, it's not shocking to hate yourself but love/like others.

1. Not myself, no.

2. I don't hate people, I hate the actions of them.
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25 / F / Philippines
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Posted 4/8/17
There are a lot of things I hate about myself and like about others.

It's actually pretty easy to hate yourself because who else knows you better than yourself, right?
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21 / M / Norway
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Posted 4/8/17
Well, I don't HATE myself, but I sure don't like myself.
And I don't like most people, some are amazing, some are cool, some are terrible. I've met my fair share of all of those.
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