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Was I just being led on by this girl?
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25 / F / Your Cookie Jar
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17
I'll be honest its hard to say.

She could actually have travel plans or maybe she didn't want to be mean and say "no". I guess my advice would be try to text her later. But if it was me I wouldn't go out with someone if we didn't as least talked a bit throughout the semester but that's just me. Some girls wouldn't mind going out with someone they just met. If the girl makes another excuse or ignores your text next time you message her then just move on but for now just chill and assume the best.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

hurtuoc wrote:

So I'm in college and it's the exam period right now. I had an exam yesterday and I asked this girl out right after the exam finished. This was the first time I talked to her at all throughout the whole semester and I asked if she liked bubble tea (as well as if she wanted to go out for bubble tea some time). She said she would go out sometime, so then I asked for her number which she gave me. Then when I tried texting her today to try and find out when she was free, she said she was actually busy since shes getting ready to travel after her exams.

So my question is was I just being led on by her when she accepted my invitation to go out? Did she feel pressured or wasn't able to say no when I came out of nowhere asking this? or does she probably legitimately have a vacation or something planned with her family right after the exams?

I was told that I should just wait until the next school year and try to talk to her again and if she actually was interested in me she would text me back after travelling between now and the next school year.


The travel excuse could've been her way of a Canadian No, also a cowards way of saying no. On the other hand she could have really liked the sight of you and forgot about plans she made when you asked her out. So when it was time to actually go out she realized that she actually had plans.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

Mr_Ed wrote:

You did good, no doubt. I actually use the "how you do on the test?" approach to talk to a girl in the past and it works, but if she said she is busy then she is busy. I mean she did give you her real number so is not like she was just trying to get it over and move on. Also even though they don't show it, girls can sense how thirsty the dude is and that can lead them to think the guy might turn annoying. She might also be talking to someone else at the moment. At this point, I would just try to get her to hang out as a friends getting to know each other and then when she actually goes out with you, straight up ask her if she has a boyfriend and/or tell her you like her but it was hard to find the courage to talk to her because you the shy type. You can tell her on the first time, if you don't wanna waste time.


So I tried asking her to go right after an exam but the exam runs from 7pm to 10pm and she said no because that was a bit late for her so I just said ok and left it at that is that fine or did that make it worse? Was trying to see if she would still go if it was before her travel plans.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

konjfful wrote:

I have a good feeling you're overthinking it. I make that mistake a lot, and normally my intuitions are generally wrong. All you have to do is spend some quality time with her and eventually you should be able to see where it will end up going.

But I will tell you rn if you overthink every word she says to you she will haunt you and make you miserable and she won't even know it, it will just be you ruining it all in your head and making things more complicated than she wanted them to be.


I am overthinking it but its because this is the first girl I ever did anything like this to. I realize "there's plenty fish in the sea", but from the first semester of this year I thought I was going to get through 4 years college without ever thinking about girls and to just be able to focus on studying. But then when I saw this girl I really wanted to get to know her and when I asked her out and it seemed like she was interested I got a little bit excited.
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27 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17
Well, I know that during exam season that is a legit excuse, hell I've barely seen anyone for the past week and will continue to be the case for the next 2-3 weeks. Well who knows, her excuses could be legit, I mean I usually go away afterwards.

If you know when she is coming back try messaging her a day or two after she returns and try to make set plans this time. Whatever the heck you do, do not wait until next school year, get in contact with her after the vacation to see if you still have a chance. If you want until fall it will definitely seem like you are no longer interested.

I mean she wouldn't have bothered to give you her real number if she wasn't at least a little bit interested. See what happens, but in the meantime do not feel locked down like you can't date other people either.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

kevz_210 wrote:

Well, I know that during exam season that is a legit excuse, hell I've barely seen anyone for the past week and will continue to be the case for the next 2-3 weeks. Well who knows, her excuses could be legit, I mean I usually go away afterwards.

If you know when she is coming back try messaging her a day or two after she returns and try to make set plans this time. Whatever the heck you do, do not wait until next school year, get in contact with her after the vacation to see if you still have a chance. If you want until fall it will definitely seem like you are no longer interested.


Not sure when she comes back if she really is going somewhere, again because I only talked to her once after an exam that was yesterday. I also feel like I'm not in any position to pry into where she's going and whatnot especially since I tried asking to go out with her right after an exam finished which was 7pm - 10pm, which she turned down since I guess it was too late. Was trying to see if she would go before her travel plans was that a bad move or was it fine?
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25 / M / Abyss
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17
In my experience girls are as willing to say "No way." as "Sure." So I would say if she gave you her real number, she may like you, even if a bit. Give it time and don't get paranoid.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

Dark_Alma wrote:

In my experience girls are as willing to say "No way." as "Sure." So I would say if she gave you her real number, she may like you, even if a bit. Give it time and don't get paranoid.


Should I try to ask about her travel plans or would that just put her off for me pestering her too much? When she told me she had travel plans I tried to ask her to go out right after her last exam (which was also when my last exam was) which finishes at 10 pm, she didn't want to go I'm assuming because it was a bit late for her.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

summerbeat wrote:

i think u are overthinking.

travelling takes up people's mind a lot.



I know I'm overthinking it but I really am trying hard to not ruin this.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

trmjkd989 wrote:

I understand you're probably anxious and your emotions are all over the place since you're dealing with a woman that (I'm assuming) you have an interest in. But as others have said, jumping to negative conclusions right off the bat is a really bad mindset to have in the long run. She might have legitimately made last minute plans to go traveling.

For future reference, it's always better to set an actual date for when you want to hang out with a girl.


I didn't realize or consider that she was going to go away right after exams, especially when she gave me her number. I thought I should have waited a day to ask her anything because she had another exam that same day I asked her like 4 hours later and I was trying to ask her for after her exams finished.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

hurtuoc wrote:


kevz_210 wrote:

Well, I know that during exam season that is a legit excuse, hell I've barely seen anyone for the past week and will continue to be the case for the next 2-3 weeks. Well who knows, her excuses could be legit, I mean I usually go away afterwards.

If you know when she is coming back try messaging her a day or two after she returns and try to make set plans this time. Whatever the heck you do, do not wait until next school year, get in contact with her after the vacation to see if you still have a chance. If you want until fall it will definitely seem like you are no longer interested.


Not sure when she comes back if she really is going somewhere, again because I only talked to her once after an exam that was yesterday. I also feel like I'm not in any position to pry into where she's going and whatnot especially since I tried asking to go out with her right after an exam finished which was 7pm - 10pm, which she turned down since I guess it was too late. Was trying to see if she would go before her travel plans was that a bad move or was it fine?


No it wasn't a bad move, just ask her when she is getting back and tell her to enjoy her trip. After that point, you kinda just gotta sit back and see how things play out.


It's always better to risk it and find out if there is a chance for something to work out than saying nothing and never knowing, something I wish I believed when I was younger.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17
should have just gone for bubble tea right there and then. sorry, but you missed the boat
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

nonix-d wrote:

I doubt she intentionally did so. Most people are not that manipulative from my experience. Something probably suddenly came up that she was not aware of ahead of time. And to be quite fair, I doubt that trip is going to take long. It's just a vacation. I'm assuming that she didn't give an exact date, so I guess she was just busy at that point in time. Don't give up on it completely fam ;P


Yeah she didn't give an exact date she just told me she was really busy and was about to go travelling when I tried to ask her when she was free a day after I asked her out.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

bzrro20 wrote:

should have just gone for bubble tea right there and then. sorry, but you missed the boat


She had another exam that day I don't think I would have been able to convince her to go no matter how confident I was.
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Posted 4/16/17 , edited 4/17/17

bzrro20 wrote:

should have just gone for bubble tea right there and then. sorry, but you missed the boat


^This would have been the best option, it's kinda how my last ex-girlfriend got me to go on our first date together

That being said I disagree you are completely S.O.L. Hit her up after the vacation and if she doesn't want to be bothered with you she will let you know by ignoring your messages or giving you one lazy excuse after another.
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